St George and the Dragon (or The Curse of the Tin Opener)

The sun shone down

It shone on the fields

It shone on the hills

It shone on a cave

It shone on a knight

St George, the bringer of light

He called into a cave so dark

'Come out wyrm, so hark

For I will slay you with one stroke'

The dragon stuck its head out and spoke

'Blimey, not another one, it's boring

The way I settle down and knights come riding

At least when I get you, you taste like chicken'

The dragon pulled back and went to the kitchen

Where it kept its knight-bane most deadly

Breaking his tone, George said: 'Come out already!'

'I'm coming, St George. No may, no might'

It exited its cave and St George turned white

Never had he seen such fell a threat

His mouth went dry and his pants went wet

The dragon advanced holding its weapon high

And in his terror George wailed to the sky:

'Oh God almighty, spare me this fate

Smite this wyrm before it's too late'

But God was not listening, St George was alone

The dragon leapt and tore him to the bone

The saint's armour hindered it not

As it dropped St George into the pot

Said as it leaned back and the pot it eyed

'How many uses for a tin opener?', it sighed.

Heee hee he... I love dragons...