Copyright 2000-2001
Khristi Thompson

Butterfly

Everyone says I'm skinny, but my mother takes it too far. She tells me what I should eat, how often I should eat, and how much I should eat. Sometimes I get dizzy and often I get faint. My mother offers doctors visits and blood tests to find out whats wrong. Nothings wrong with me. Sometimes I think that my mother wants something to be wrong with me. She wants to be my comfort. She is a hypocondriac in the third person. She wants to be a hero and save me from this world. She wants to be known as the stron one when she knows that I am stronger than her. I've been through too much in the short time I've been in this life. And she knows I'm moving on. I've grown wings and I am going to fly away soon. I can handle anything and she's envious of me. I've dealt with finding out that I'm adopted and that I've been lied to about my own life. I have been a victim of a shamful crime at a very young age, I've dealt with a horrible divorce of my parents. I've dealt with being locked away from the world. I've dealt with being the outcast, the one nobody likes. I've dealt with not meeting her goals and expectations she had for me. I've dealt with leaving my entire life behind and being forced to start over. I've dealt with my best friend dying. I've dealt with my fathers cancer. I've dealt with not knowing my background, not being able to make a family tree, not knowing where I came from. And with all that behind me I still turned out allright. It all made me stronger and I've gotten to the point where I could leave and not look back. I can withstand anything this world throws at me. "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger"
I'm sorry that I didnt meet your expectations mom, but I did get the chance to meet and exceed my own. I've gotten to a place in my life where I am happy. I've found myself. And you envy me. Now that you feel like being my mother, you realize that I've allready grown up and you feel guilty. I believe I did a pretty good job in raising myself. I've learned to love though I never was, I've grown a personality although I was never treated as a person, and I've learned alot, though you never taught me. I am glad that you want to be there for me and I am happy that now you want to care. It's too late. You missed my childhood, and its a shame because I missed it too.

"I'm a butterfly and I'll gain the courage to fly away soon"-Khristi Thompson