The History of the Kiwis

A/N: As all self respecting people are aware of, kiwis are cute little brown flightless birdies that live in New Zealand (one of my friends is from NZ, her penname is Randomitsanity). They are also a fruit, but no one cares about the fruit. The site ..com goes into great detail about the differences. If you want a picture of a kiwi bird, look in your dictionary, or go to .. Now, about MY kiwis. I made the first blue kiwi back when I was in 5th grade. I was doodling, and just happened to draw a creature that looked like a kiwi (it was blue, because that was the only color crayon I had). Well, this simple doodle that I did when I was supposed to be paying attention has started a bizarre kind of obsession (as can be seen from my penname, email, and SN). Well, I made up a whole story about how the kiwis came to be. I am the Mother of all Kiwis (or MoK). And they live on there own spiffy planet far, far away on fifth right past Wichita (question: Where's Wichita?). Well, anywho.

THE GREAT WONDERFUL RANDOM HISTORY OF KIWS THAT WAS TURNED INTO A COMIC STRIP IN 7th GRADE! begins

Once upon a time, in a magical planet located on the fifth right past Wichita and in between two spiffy planets that aren't in this solar system live the magical Kiwis. Once, the ball like creatures were all blue, but years of inbreeding and a lack of sunscreen have produced many genetic mutations, so now they are a magical rainbow of kiwis! ANYWHO one day and evil sparrow form the Planet of Evil Sparrows came to kiwi land. The ever trusting kiwis made him king for a day, to show their peacefulness (and stupidity). Well, the evil sparrow abused his privileges and became the dictator of kiwi land.

Well, the kiwis learned to tolerate the oppression, but you can only push these small birds so far before well, you've pushed them so far.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! Y'all need to know HOW you push kiwis too far! Well, underpayment, lack of holidays (these guys are a lot like Zoombinis) and the big one: FORCING THEM TO EAT KIWIFRUIT!!! When you have the brain the size of a small walnut, it is easy to believe that cannibalism is eating anything with your name in it, so therefore the kiwis thought they were being cannibalistic (you get all that?)

BACK TO THE STORY: So the incredibly pissed walnut brained kiwis decided to do something (mainly sit around wondering what to do). Finally one brave kiwi stood up.

IMPORTANT INFO!!!!!!!!!!! Kiwis have there own special language, but everything here has been translated, for simplicity, and the fact that I don't feel like making up a whole language.

BACK TO THE STORY ONCE AGAIN: Ok, so this brave kiwi stands up.

ANOTHER NOTE: If you're still with me, and aren't busy plotting my demise, the brave kiwi is the Blue Kiwi

HOPEFULLY THAT'LL BE THE LAST INTERUPPTION: Righto then, the brave blue kiwi stands up

INTERUPTION: Just kidding

BACK TO DA STORY: He stands up and says (this sounds like one of those really long, bad run on jokes that don't have a punch line doesn't it?) "We must rebel!"

"You've got to be INSANE!" Squawked the ways magical MYSTIC KIWI ^^

"Yeah, well, aren't we all?" Replied he.

"Oh, right. Good point. What exactly do you propose we do?"

"Rebel."

"We established that. HOW do we rebel?"

"Well. I don't know, I suppose we'll have to think of something eventually won't we?"

"Yes I suppose we will." And the meeting of kiwis began to think of what to do.

NEXT CHAPTER: More thinking, and A PLAN! We also get to meet the evil sparrow king.