We must leave our kiwi friends for a chapter to visit The Evil Sparrow King. The Evil Sparrow King will, from this point on, be known as TESK, like task with an E. anywho, TESK was plotting ways to be horrible...ly dashing in his new spring wardrobe! Which consisted of a grand purple robe and a rainbow one (no he’s not gay, he’s a BIRD! A BIRD! They have brains the size of WALNUTS! They don’t even know what gay is!). Well, his grand fashion consultant (who will be fired in chapter three) had just finished taking measurements when he left TESK with a bottle of grape juice that looked an awful lot like wine… but that’s totally beside the point.

            Now that the pressing question of fashion was out of the way, TESK could go back to being horrible…ly trendy, as, with the flick of a remote, he turned on his BIG SCREEN TV with SURROND SOUND on and put ‘The Greatest Works of Mr. Rogers with extra special bonus footage of Trolley visiting a car wash’ into his hi-tech DVD player!

            Then TESK decided to be horrible…ly horrible and decided to start manufacturing wax kiwi fruits and force kiwis to decorate there homes with them.

            But now we are bored with him, and shall move on The Great Kiwi Congregation, or TGKG pronounced tttggggkkkkkgggggg, much like radio static. They had finally decided on a plan of action, which was to go home, eat their meager and supposedly cannibalistic dinner of kiwi fruit and reconvene tomorrow to come up with a real plan.

            Meanwhile, the evil aquamarine-with-green-stripes-and-neon-orange-polka-dotted kiwi was in the palace (or barn, but building type isn’t very important) and informed TESK of the kiwi’s plan for rebellion.

            “Whahahaha!” TESK cackled, “They are too stupid and pin brained to over throw me!”

And because the author of this story is lazy, this is where capter two ends. Join us next chapter to see a plan develop, and the royal fashion designer get fired. We may also get to see a musical number in which the Blue Kiwi signs a song about how much he misses grapefruit.