Sometimes I hate you

Sometimes I really hate you

Even though you did nothing

But that’s what makes my blood boiling thick with rage

That’s the problem.

Sometimes I hate you

With a passion buried so deep

That I feel like I want to slug you

Smash your pretty face in, twist your arm backwards

Anything.

And kiss you…

Kiss you like there is no tomorrow.

Sometimes I want to kiss you

Wrap my arms around your waist and hold you,

Not letting go

Never letting go.

And kissing you, with my tongue exploring the unknown

Breathing life into you

My life.

Sometimes I hate you…

And at the same time loving you

With the same passion veiled with the fiery hatred for you.

Why do I hate the person that I love?

Because we were once friends,

We were once lovers

You meant the universe to me, everything to me.

Call me delusional

Call me crazy

But I was once burning with desire and lust

For the person that l love.

Now things have changed

Sometimes I hate you

What makes the pain more unbearable

Is the fact that I see you, this person that I both love and hate,

Nearly every day from a distance.

I look at you, look at your pretty face and you are talking and laughing,

Laughing with your friends

As if I meant nothing to you

Why, oh why do I love the person that I hate?

It is so confusing…

Whenever we are near each other, whenever we brush shoulders,

I look the other way and walk past you.

As if once upon a time we were nothing more than friends and lovers

As if you are just this person that ceased to exist,

A picture on the wall, nothing more

Two strangers.

I act as if I do not give a flying damn about you in this sorry world

I act as if you do not mean anything to me

But a minute passes

And suddenly I feel a flash of hurt, pang of regret

So deep, so painful

That I want to go back and hug you

And kiss you…

Again.

Kiss you and hold you the way it was before.

Gazing into your beautiful eyes and touch your wonderful lips

Sometimes I want to kiss the person that was once my lover, my universe, My everything.

Of course things have changed. What changed?

That is why I hate you for it, you asshole.

But sometimes…

I love you as well

And still always will be.