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Ishriel,

                        I’m sorry. Sorry I’ve been such a burden to you these past days. I know you don’t want me anymore, and I’ve accepted that. It’s better this way. You deserve someone much better, someone you’re not disgusted to touch. I don’t know if it’s because I’m mortal now, or from what they did to me… But it’s ok that you don’t love or want me anymore. I’m leaving now, so I won’t be pestering you or the others ever again.

            He hadn’t bothered to sign it and I found myself wishing he had. I needed to see his name, anything to distract from this whole disastrous situation. How could I have been so stupid? Raven moved silently beside me, he didn’t need to yell at me and tell me that he had warned me about this. I was berating myself enough for both of us. It was so dark, Dead time having started an hour before. What if he was stuck outside? Or worse, what if he had come across someone dangerous? What if he was hurt, or dying? I would never, ever forgive myself if anything happened to him. I’d been so incredibly stupid!

            “Wait.” Raven’s hand was suddenly on my shoulder, halting me. His eyes were closed lightly and I held my breath; did he sense something? “Do you hear that?”

            “Wha…” My eyes widened in surprise and sudden hope. There was a soft whispering and I could have sworn I heard my love’s name. There was a relieved laugh from my companion and he grabbed my hand, pulling me along at a jog. “What is it?” I asked, my heart racing, did he know where my precious Sharael was?

            “An angel found him and is taking care of him, can you believe that? It’s not far, just a couple more blocks.”

            The door opened just as we reached the top of the stairs and I raced past the large man standing by the doorway, dropping instantly to my beloved’s side. Holding him tightly I pulled his limp form onto my lap, stroking his hair almost frantically. “Oh, god, Sha’rel! Never ever do that to me again, love! Never leave me like that.” I was babbling and I knew it but I couldn’t stop, so relieved to see him alive and safe. “How could you possibly think I don’t want you anymore? How could you think I don’t want to touch you? I love you so much, Sha’rel. I love you and I want you and if you ever leave me like that again, then… then… I don’t know what I’ll do but it won’t be good. I’m so glad you’re alright.”

            “He’s not, you know.” A calm voice told me and I looked up to see the man… angel giving me a stern look. “He’s got a terrible cold and over-exhausted himself dangerously. And I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be holding him in such a fashion, he needs to be comfortable and to rest.”

            I was instantly filled with shame and went to put my precious Sharael back on the couch but a delicate hand coming up to rest against my cheek stopped me, and I looked down into shimmering golden eyes. “I am comfortable.” He whispered quietly causing my heart to flutter. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he smiled shyly. “You… you want me?”

            “Oh, Sha’rel!” I kissed him gently and lovingly, letting him know how much I wanted him and how much I loved him. Finally releasing his soft lips I sighed tiredly, resting my forehead against his as my fingers continued to stroke his silky hair. “Of course I want you. I love you and I always will. I’ve been such a fool, can you ever forgive me?”

            “What for?” He seemed honestly puzzled and that just made me love him more, though I longed to see life brought back into those strange hazel eyes.

            “For not giving you the comfort you needed. I… I thought you wouldn’t want to be touched after what happened to you. Raven warned me that this would happen but I didn’t listen… I longed desperately to touch you, hold you, but I was scared of frightening you. I had no idea you would think I didn’t want to touch you.” I paused, going over his note in my mind. “I’m so amazingly touched by the fact you became mortal for me and I could not love you more. You’re just as appealing to me as you were before, you’re still gorgeously exotic and though you can’t read my thoughts anymore it doesn’t mean my sexual fantasies about you have lessened any.”

            “Ishriel!” He laughed softly, burying his blushing face against my neck. “We are not alone.”

            “I know, love. If we were then I would be doing more than just fantasizing about your beautiful body.”

            “I certainly hope not.” The angel’s voice resounded with a sternness any dictator would be envious of. “I don’t think you realise how sick he actually is. He should be sleeping and I will not allow you to take him from here if you have any intention of doing strenuous activities with him in his current condition.”

            “I’m not that-” Unfortunately my poor lover didn’t get to finish his sentence and certainly didn’t make the point he was trying to because he ended up having a terrible coughing fit, making my heart ache with guilt. Supporting his trembling body and rubbing his back soothingly I waited until he could breathe clearly again, then slowly lifted his light form, being careful not to jostle him. Thin arms came up around my neck instantly, his eyes sliding shut as he let his head rest against my shoulder. His beautiful little body felt fevered, the angel was right, he was very sick. I had to get him home.

            “Thank you so much for helping him.” I told the angel quietly and he just nodded, looking us both over grimly. I left then but Raven stayed a few moments to talk to the angel before catching up to me. “Is he going to be alright, do you think?” I asked the Russian, glancing down at the sleeping form in my arms.

            “Yes, I think in the end he’ll be alright. It will take time though.”

***

            “I can’t eat anymore, honey, or I’m going to throw it all back up.” Sharael complained, trying to hide himself further under the blankets to get away from the tray of food I had just brought him. I frowned, letting out a deep sigh as I set the tray aside.

            “But you’ve lost so much weight, love, you’re just skin and bones.”

            “I’m too thin?” He spoke hesitantly, looking up at me with teary eyes as he clutched the blanket with frail hands. “You don’t find me attractive anymore?”

            “What? We’ve been though this, sweetheart.” From experience I now knew that the best thing to do right now was to touch him, words weren’t going to be enough. So I shifted onto the bed fully and wrapped my arms around his shivering form, pulling him close until he settle against my side. “I’ll always find you attractive. I’m just worried about you, that’s all. Can’t I worry about you, love?”

            “You can… but I’m not hungry. I couldn’t possibly eat anything right now.”

            “Not even some chocolate? Or maybe ice-cream?” He shuddered against me. Ok, so he didn’t want anything sweet but surely he could eat something else? I could feel every one of his bones as he rested against me and it scared me. What if he just wasted away? I couldn’t stand losing him and I knew that for a certainty after I had come so close to never seeing him again.

            “Don’t push him to eat so much, Ish, it could cause more problems.” Raven chastened me as he walked in, a small box in one hand. “You can’t expect him to go from eating nothing to eating more than he normally would in one day. Give it time.”

            “I know you’re right, it’s just… I just want him to be better. I love him so much.”

            “I know you do and I’m glad because you wouldn’t deserve him otherwise.”

            “Hey!” My lover pulled away a bit to sit up gingerly, glaring at us both. “Stop talking like I’m not here.”

            Raven smiled, moving to sit on the bed at my lover’s other side. “I thought you were asleep, you were so quiet and peaceful.”

            “No. Just cuddling.” He answered quietly with a slight blush and I couldn’t help letting out a chuckle, he was so cute. Tightening my hold I brought him back against me as I shifted to rest against the headboard so we could both be comfortable. “Is something wrong?” I felt him shiver and gave him a reassuring squeeze, he’d seemed so nervous around Raven and the others since he came back and it worried me. If he was going to live here he needed to feel comfortable with them.

            “No, not at all, little brother.” Raven answered with a slightly cheeky grin, puzzling me but Sharael knew what it was about.

            “Why call me that?” He asked quietly, voice pained and the smile vanished from Raven’s face, his dark eyes filling with compassion.

            “Not to tease you, if that’s what you think, Sharael. I just thought since you’re the more vulnerable one now that you should be my little brother. I’ll be here to protect you just like you were there for me.” He then handed my lover the little box, smiling reassuringly until a pale delicate hand reached out to take it. “I even got you something to help protect you.”

            “Thankyou.” He sounded lost and merely looked down at the box in his hand, uncertain.

            “Open it, sweetheart.” I encouraged, placing a soft kiss to his cheek. His slim fingers lifted the lid slowly and carefully and the contents were finally revealed. It seemed it was my turn to blush but it was worth any embarrassment to hear my lover’s tinkling laughter.

            “You see, little brother, your new boyfriend is quiet the ladies’ man so you want to be careful. You don’t know where he’s been.”

            “Raven!” I cried indignantly but Sharael was laughing with such genuine mirth that I couldn’t help but smile, silently thanking my friend for cheering him up. Even if it was only for a little while it was wonderful to hear his laughter again.

            “Hey, don’t blame me, it was Ricky’s idea.” Raven smiled, elegant fingers toying with a curl of my lover’s soft hair. “Look underneath, that’s from me.”

            Lifting out the packet of vanilla flavoured condoms Sharael handed it to me before taking out the small silk bag that had been hiding underneath. Spilling its contents into his palm he let the stones shift in his grasp for a moment before looking up at the Russian curiously. Why give him rune stones? Wasn’t that just rubbing in the fact he didn’t have magic anymore? But Raven continued to smile and I had to trust he knew what he was doing.

            “In the history books it says you could sometimes read the future using cards or stones. I know you’ve lost your magic but it’s not magic that makes those things work, it’s a connection and sensitivity to the energies around you. I could be wrong, though I doubt very much that I am but I don’t think your loss of magic or your demon traits will have severed that connection. I think if you try you can use them to read the future.” Raven shrugged, looking a little embarrassed himself. “I know it’s not much considering all you’ve lost but it’s something…”

            “Yeah.” Sharael smiled sweetly, obviously touched by the gesture and he moved from me to hug Raven. “It is something, and even if it doesn’t work it means a lot to me that you thought of this. Maybe I’m not just a pest to you after all.”

            “Oh, Sharael.” He sighed, holding my lover tightly and I saw tears of guilt building in the dark eyes. “You’re not a pest. You never were. You’ve done so much for me. You saved both mine and Richard’s lives and I know how much you had to do with him proposing to me. I’m so sorry that you thought that we didn’t want you here because we do. You’re my best friend, you know.”

            “I am?”

            “Yes, you are.” Raven placed a soft kiss to his fevered brow before releasing him, letting me reclaim him. “And it would please me if you would be my maid of honour.”

            Sharael laughed. “I’d love to, if my boyfriend doesn’t mind me wearing a dress.” He glanced at me then and my heart filled with joy as I saw the sparkle back in his hazel eyes.

            “Of course I won’t mind. You do make a very sexy woman.” I started kissing his neck and nibbling softly at his ear, I couldn’t help it. Raven blinked, rising from the bed with a smirk.

            “I think I’ll leave you two alone now. Don’t forget to use… protection.”

            “Ha, ha, Brynhild. Tell Richard I’m going to get him for that one.” Once he was gone I went back to nibbling and kissing deliciously soft skin. I wanted him so much.

            “Honey?”

            “Mmm?” Nuzzling his soft hair I let my hands drift lower, smoothing over creamy thighs to gently work his legs further apart. I was about to flip him so he was beneath me but his hands gripped mine, halting the caresses. “What is it, love?”

            “My stomach feels queasy… I don’t think we should do this.”

            “Oh.” How could I have forgotten he was sick? “I’m sorry, love, I’m so thoughtless.”

            “No, honey, it’s ok. I love that you’re so obvious about still wanting me, I think at the moment I need you to be. But… can you just hold me for today?”

            “Sure. Do you feel better now that you know the others want you here as well?”

            “Yes. You’re the most important person to me and your love means a lot but… this might sound strange, considering my personality but I don’t like it when people hate me. It makes me feel… bad, insecure I guess.”

            “Well actually with your personality it does make sense. You always acted like you didn’t care at all what anyone thought because you were so afraid of getting hurt, you tried to pretend that it didn’t bother you when people disliked you, hoping that you’d really feel that way one day.”

            “You know, honey, you’re making me sound pathetic.”

            “I am not. You really are insecure. I’m going to have to remedy that.”

            “And you think you can?” He teased, shifting to face me, large eyes looking up at me adoringly. “Do you still feel like you will always love me, no matter what I do?”

            “Of course, Sha’rel. You are my soulmate.”

            “Will you say it?”

            “Say what?” My brow furrowed in confusion but the hopeful expression on his angelic face soon made me understand and I smiled, placing a gentle kiss to those soft rosy lips. “I love you, Sha’rel.”

            “Thank you.” Tangling his fingers in my hair he kept me close, his warm breath ghosting across my starved lips as he spoke. “We can’t go all the way but you may kiss me again if you like.”

            “Nothing would please me more.”

            And there you have it. Everything may not have been alright and there was still a long way to go before he was back to his normal cheery self but he’d get there eventually. And I’d always have him by my side, we would grow old together and I couldn’t have thought of a more precious gift.

THE END