cut2bleed: Glad you like it so far.  And about the change in Holly’s personality being too illogical…I wish I could just say it was my imagination running away, but unfortunately I can’t.  It was non-fiction.  And believe me, you don’t forget a conversation like that.

The-Messenjah:  Thanks again for reviewing, posted this just for you my friend!  Hope you enjoy it.

CHAPTER 5

Holly’s phone rang 5 times before the answering machine picked up.  The recording played followed by the beep.  Then an all too familiar voice projected from the speaker.

“Holly?  I know you’re there.  Please pick up.  I need to talk to you. Can’t we talk this out?  Well, if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here, I’m still your friend.”

Miranda.  Holly picked up the book she had been reading and threw it across the room.  The pages rustled as it sailed across the room, and the object made a thunderous thud as it hit the opposite wall.  Holly was so frustrated about the situation between her and Miranda.  She absentmindedly took of her glasses and buried her face in her hands.  She felt horrible about treating her former best friend this way, but she didn’t see any other option. 

Didn’t Miranda know there was nothing for them to talk about?  It was all over, there was no hope left.

Holly didn’t know why she felt this way.  Well maybe it was because Miranda might be in love with her.  And Holly couldn’t risk giving Miranda false hope.  False hope is sometimes more painful than being shut out and rejected.  Why drag it out when there’s no need to.  Holly and Miranda could not be more than friends, in fact, not even friends.  Their friendship never existed, it was just a sham.  This whole time Holly had thought she had found the perfect friend.  But turns out, she just found a lesbian in disguise. 

For a while now Holly had had the sinking suspicion that Miranda may have had intentions for the two to be more than friends.  And the conversation the two shared a few nights ago proved that it was a real possibility.

Everything became so obvious once Miranda had actually said she was a lesbian.  Her relationships never lasted; they always fell apart during the commitment stage.  At first Holly just thought Miranda had commitment issues, but it all made sense now.  And Holly wished it didn’t.  Why did everything have to be so screwed up?

Miranda was always so cold and insincere towards everyone else.  She was a downright bitch with everyone.  Everyone except Holly that is.  She was even pretty insincere and callous towards Rachael.  But when it came to Holly, she was so caring and self-sacrificing. 

Miranda would do little things like staying up all night to help her study, and keeping her company while she was sick in bed, to major things like inviting Holly along with her to Toronto for a small trip.  All expenses paid, just the two of them.

She did all of those things and more for Holly, but for no one else. 

Holly recalled the time when she denied Miranda’s position as best friend.  She remember her reaction, the emotions rushing through her, but most of all, she remembered the jealousy.

***************

“You have Rachael, so what are you getting upset about?” Holly demanded.

“Rachael, is not my best friend.  She may think that, but she isn’t.  You are my best friend.  You’re the one I choose to run to, you’re the one I truly listen to, whom I have good intentions towards.  Not Rachael,” Miranda disputed crossly.

Holly let out a frustrated sigh, “Who cares if someone else is my best friend?” Holly replied somewhat fed up.

“I care!  That’s who.  You’re first in my heart, why shouldn’t I be in yours?  I can’t settle for second best.  I can’t be second, its not good enough,” Miranda said darkly.

Holly smiled at Miranda.  She didn’t scream, she didn’t glare, just smiled.  “There.  That’s all I needed to hear.” Miranda gave Holly a confused look. “You’re always my favorite.  No matter what.  I knew this stunt would get your attention.”

Miranda grew more confused, but managed to ask, “So, you’re not best friends with Susan?”

Holly laughed and shook her head.  “Course not.  Well, she wants to be friends with me, but she’s far too annoying.  And there’s no way she could replace you.  Nobody can, and believe me, I don’t want anyone to.”

Miranda sighed a sigh of relief and gave the girl an apologetic look.  “I’m sorry I blew up at you.  I, uh, have a bit of a jealous streak,” she averted her gaze from the hazel-eyed beauty and began to laugh nervously.

“Yeah, but I knew that already,” Holly replied as she walked over to Miranda and gave her a warm hug.

Miranda, although surprised by the hug, happily returned it and indulged in Holly’s touch.  “You’re always my favorite Holly.  Even when I’m not yours.”

***************

Holly loved how Miranda made her feel so important, like she actually was significant.  She wasn’t used to that.  She was used to being invisible and being pushed aside.  But when she was with her friend, she never felt that way.  She never felt alone, she felt loved.

Holly was in awe every time her and Miranda would be in a crowd of 300 people, and Miranda would speak to her as if she was the only one there, as if she was the only one who mattered.

Holly felt unconditionally loved when she was with her best friend.

And now Holly knew why.