I wasn't really sure what to call this. Hence, the title. ^^

I'm not even sure why I wrote this. Boredom? Deprivation of sleep? Or am I just hallucinating after last night's dinner of bad tacos? Either way, I wrote it. And blah... I'll just get to the point. This is about me, and I wrote it after I read through a buncha horoscopes. I'm a virgo, even though I was reading the one for pisces.

Leave me alone. I'm tired.

This is not traditional fiction -- not really a story and not really fiction. Not even traditional. Who cares? It's a free country, I can do what I want. Hand me a pen, so I can forge s'more signatures.

Ha... so I'm not even funny. Excuse me for being a mere mortal. And by the way, I just figured out why they call the chocolate, marshmallow and graham cracker sandwiches s'mores -- you keep asking for more. Heh!

...

Don't look at me like that. I'm not the crazy psycho, here you are...

Forget it. Just leave me alone. I'm tired.

So anyway... here you have it: the horoscope-ish-like thing for people like me:

We've all heard the quote "the world's a stage and life's a play." If it were true, you'd be the tree. And you would've been forced to try out. Why? Because you don't want to be the center of attention. Every time you have been, (because your teacher called on you or you had a big red stain on your pants... either way, it wasn't good) you've made a fool out of yourself. Since it happens every single time, we're starting to wonder whether you do it one purpose. Maybe you do -- and maybe you do it because you don't ever want it to happen again.

When people see you, they flock to you. You take great pride in your appearance, for some unknown reason. It really does help, because it hold people's attention until they get to know you; until they find the harsher characteristics of your personality.

Wherever you go, you need to look good. And if you don't, you'll cry and scream; hey -- you're ugly, anyway.

But besides that, you tend to hide behind your image. You present yourself as a gothic loser, a freak, or some sort of rebel. It's all a crazy scheme to push people away. And it doesn't work. You are mysterious, silent and proud -- and people like that, even though you don't like them. Well, you try to like them; they usually turn out as immature, naive, stupid, selfish, some other degree of unworthiness... or they just don't like you.

And when they don't like you, you try to put them out of your mind. And it usually doesn't work. The very few people who have successfully been discarded are the ones who don't talk to you anymore. They're the ones who've moved, grown up, matured... they have reason to deny you. So you deny them, first.

Most of the time, you deal with an issue by talking yourself out of it. And whether you do it verbally or mentally, it doesn't work. You need people to tell you things, so that you'll believe it.

Religion is scary. You hate to be unsure; and at the same time, you don't always want to know what's real. It's a paradox, really -- you want to know, and yet you keep all truth hidden in someplace safe, that you couldn't reach if you wanted to.

You have converted. More than once. You want to have faith, but it's not so easy. To admit to being Christian or Atheist, you need to truly believe that YOU truly believe. Since it's so hard for you to understand yourself, religion has caused you much pain. So much that you don't want to surrender to church or a God. While the thought of dying scares you, you try very hard to take to mind the teachings of people around you. You try very hard not to fear death, because death is merely an end result, given to you at your birth.

The unknown bothers you. You crave knowledge, and will use every resource imagineable to find it. Ignorance may be bliss, but to you -- it defeats the opportunities given to you by life.

You've tried very hard to fit in -- but being part of a crowd is a painful thought. You don't want to be sheltered or acknowledged for your differences, and still you can't stand the idea of not making a difference in the world. You want to be recognized and appreciated for being who you are.

In a way, you don't know what you want. You decided a long time ago that you want to be different -- but you cannot resist the common ways of society. If you are a woman, this especially applies to you; you want to wear dresses and you want to be beautiful -- at the same time, you want to be accepted. You want to be male.

It's always been hard to write emotion in thought, even though you are praised for your obvious talent. You love art, and you appreciate it very much. Still, perfection is key. You work as long as you can on a single song or story or picture, because you hate criticism. In fact, the only criticism you can stand is your own. And you will never stop criticising your work -- even though it pains you. It has become an emotional crutch, and you use it to your advantage.

Your childhood is a well-preserved nightmare. And most of the time, you feel as if you're still living it. Chances are, that's true. In all the time you were left alone and locked in rooms, you have begun to appreciate solitude. You're still not sure if that's good or bad.

You hate the simple theories of right and wrong. They tease you and mock your ideals -- they're so easy to understand, and you hate that. You have never wanted to sort things into boxes for black and white -- because you know that there really is a gray. Shades of it, in fact. And nomatter how hard you look, you can never find an absolute color that does not interfere with your own.

Abstract phrases are preferred to specific, bald facts. You love figuring things out for yourself and making others work to understand you. You've spent so much time trying to figure yourself out -- why make it easy on them?

Trust is hard to earn and even harder to give. It takes years for a friendship to develop, and years for that friend to be worthy of your trust. And you don't like this characteristic, because you know that no one but whom you trust will trust you back. And even though it's scary, you live with it; you don't need them, anyway.

Everything you do is out of passion; and sometimes you wish this weren't true. Revealing yourself is something that you never want to do. You have been hurt, and in return you want to hurt others -- but rather than taking an eye for an eye, you put a simple restriction on yourself. It's a difficult way to live, and yet you prefer it to a life in the open. Secrecy has become a fine art.

Out of fear, you repress your thoughts and appear emotionally cold. You do this because you want to, and also because you feel that the world wants you to. There are so many dark ways to life -- you don't know which one to choose. You want to rebel from society, and you want to defeat the common teachings that have been brought upon you. You want to protect the world from every potential threat -- and you just can't do it. And it seems like they're all out to stop you. You feel as if the whole human race has gone against you, and your life is just another speck in the world.

The meaning of life seems false and appears to have been created by the media. You cannot see past the darkness that has been cast upon you -- or, more accurately, that you have cast upon yourself. And why? It's beyond you. Why would anyone want to hurt themselves as you have? It causes so much pain and despair; and still, these are things you just can't live without. You must be abnormal; you must be unworthy of those around you. You feel that life is something that was never intended for you. And what you don't know: there really is a reason to the pain. There is an actual message that you're sending to yourself, over and over again -- and everyone around you can read it clearly, even though it cannot be written in words.

When there is nothing to worry about, you force yourself to fail. You aim higher than you can see, simply because you WON'T make it; it's physically impossible. You were born into a good family and you were blessed with undying faith and pure beauty.

You just haven't figured it out yet.