Porta-Potty

Jane, Carla and Brianna are standing in a long line that leads to a row of Porta-potties. They are at a Goo Goo Dolls concert and music can be heard blaring in the background.

Jane: This is so great! I can't believe you got us tickets, Bri! I've been waiting for this ever since you had us get their new CD.

Carla: And the seats are awesome! You can see every hair on John Rzeznik's head!

Brianna: Of course, it would help if this line wasn't so long. I hate Porta- potties, but I have to go so bad!

Carla: I told you not to get that huge soda! I don't want you peeing all through this thing.

Jane: Come on Carla, you know you have to go too! And so do I.

Carla: Yeah, so what? (she pauses and laughs) Just messing with ya, Janie.

Jane glares at her for using that nickname, then bursts into laughter. Applause and cheers are heard. A new song begins.

Brianna: Oh, I love this song! (begins to sing along) When you're feeling all wrong at the back of your mind again, how does it feel- (she is cut off by Jane)

Jane: (whispers) Brianna! Shush, everybody in the line is looking at us!

Brianna: (begins singing again) Saccharine, caffeine, nicotine gum, yeah it tastes sweet but its not for long, and I just think you thought it would be! (she stops singing and starts humming)

Carla: Earth to Brianna! (waves a hand in front of her face) Get a grip! You know you can't sing!

Brianna: (snapping out of her trance-like state) Hey! What was that for?

Carla: Honestly, I'd much rather hear them sing.

Jane: (to avoid conflict) Does this line ever move? We'll be here for hours just waiting for the bathroom!

Brianna: Why don't they make Porta-potties any nicer anyway? They could at least put a sink in there.

Carla: I know, right? Or do something about the stink.

Brianna: Or better yet, build a building of bathrooms with actual plumbing.

Jane: (sarcastically) What a novel concept!

Brianna: (crossing her legs) Seriously, I'm about to either wet myself or- (Carla cuts her off)

Carla: Go in the bushes!

Brianna: Eewww, are you nuts! That's nasty!

Jane: Probably not any worse than the setup they've got here. At least there's no line for the bushes.

Brianna: No way am I doing that.

Carla: Hey look, the line's moving! Yes!

The girls burst out into applause as they move up in the line, much to the confusion of the other people in line.

Jane: Encore!

The music stops. More applause is heard. This time the music does not continue.

Carla: Okay, I was going to give up before, but now there's hope.

Brianna: There's always hope!

Jane: No, I would have to agree with Carla there.

Brianna: Party poopers.

Jane: Well soorrryyy, but we want to watch the concert!

Brianna: Well, so do I, but this comes first!

Carla: Stop talking about it! You're going to make us all have to go even more.

Jane: True.

Carla: Listen to the music!

Brianna: The music isn't playing anymore Carla!

Carla listens for a moment.

Carla: Oh.

Brianna and Jane laugh. After a moment of embarrassment, Carla smirks slightly.

Jane: They must be taking a break.

Brianna: Great. That means even more people will get in line.

Jane: But at least they'll be behind us.

Carla: (gasps) Oh my God! The line moved, again!

Brianna: It's a miracle!

They move forward. The Porta-potties are close now.

Jane: Almost there! Come on, people hurry up!

Brianna suddenly begins shivering.

Brianna: I'm cold!

Jane and Carla look at her strangely. Both of them are dressed warm, but Brianna only has a light cardigan.

Jane: Well, no wonder, look at what you're wearing!

Carla: That's the price you pay for fashion, Bri!

Brianna grumbles and Carla punches her lightly in the arm.

Brianna: (melodramatically) Ow! Oh no, you broke it! Aahhh, the pain!

Carla: (exasperated) Come on, Bri, it was just a joke.

Brianna: (suddenly grinning again) Well, so was that.

Carla rolls her eyes. The girls find themselves at the front of the line.

Jane: Yes! Finally!

The girls dash into separate stalls. After a few minutes, they all come out again.

Brianna: Much better.

Carla: Definitely.

Jane: Let's not ever do that again.

Carla: Agreed.

Brianna: C'mon, let's get back before they start again.

Right after she says this, the music begins again. Brianna stops in her tracks and makes an aggravated sound.

Carla: What are you waiting for, let's go!

Carla grabs Jane and Brianna and heads back to the concert area.

Jane: They're playing Iris! That song is the greatest!

Brianna: (singing) And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now.

She continues to sing as the others talk over her.

Carla: She just doesn't get it, does she?

Jane: Eh, we'll let her this time.

Brianna: (still singing) And sooner or later it's over, (stops singing) Join in!

Jane and Carla shrug.

Carla: Oh, what the hell.

Jane, Brianna and Carla: (all singing) And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

End