Of Cafeterias and Cottage Cheese

~*Supergurl15*~

Rating: G

***WARNING: Contains excessive ranting, raving, and overall insanity. Read at your own risk!!!! ***

Author's Note: Have you guys often wondered what happens when you mix coffee, little sleep, and unwarranted schoolwork together?

This short, one-shot fic!!!!

Don't worry; I let my friends read this before I posted it. They already though I was insane before... but after reading this I've been officially moved up to demented, insane, psychotic, hyperactive, coffee obsessive... (you get the picture) idiot!

Hey. *shrugs* What can I say?

Note: I don't have anything against cottage cheese; it's actually pretty good when eaten with Pineapples. I just thought the whole prospect of cottage cheese being brought to school was really funny. The characters are based on my friends... so yeah. Write back and tell me what ya think!

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So, I'm watching Smallville and all of a sudden this commercial for travel sized, yogurt like, cottage cheese comes on t.v., and I'm just sitting there thinking. 'Cottage cheese? Lunch box size!?! What the heck!?!' It's like who's gonna need travel sized cottage cheese anyway?

What, are you going to take it to school and eat it for lunch? Just like that!?! Now that is just gross! Get a life people that think of new, and innovative ideas for food products!!!!!

Of course I had to write a scenario, so here goes:

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Two guys join their friends at the lunch table after coming from the line.

Their discussion: How unbelievably stupid, and pointless travel-sized cottage cheese, in yogurt-sized cups (fyi) is. Let's listen in shall we?

Nick: I'm telling ya dude, there's something wrong with peoples today, cottage cheese in yogurt-like cups!?! Dude, that's just sick!

Ben: *nods*

Nick: *begins to shake random guy who unfortunately is sitting at the same table* Sick! Sick! SICK!!!!!!!!!!

Adam: So you guys don't want any? *flashes conveniently sized cottage cheese in a yogurt shaped cup*

*all gasp*

All: *GASP!*

Nick: Conveniently travel-sized cottage cheese, in a yogurt shaped cup!!!!!!!

Adam: Well yeah... *dips spoon into cup, revealing a rather unhealthy portion of spooned cottage cheese, that just so happens to be in a yogurt- like cup*

Adam: *glups it*

*All say ewwwww*

All: Say ewwww!

Author/ Narrator: No you idiots!!!!! *smacks head with hand* Guuuuuuys!!!!!!!! I swear!!!!! You're supposed to say 'ewwww'!!!!!

Brent: We did dude. Girls are so dumb!

*Nick, Ben and the rest of the male population nod*

Author/Narrator: WELL... *screams* in my cafeteria, in my high school, in my county, in my state, in my country, in my world... we're going to do things MY way!!!!! Understand!?!

*all nod*

Author/ Narrator: *smiles sweetly* Gooooooood.

Random guy: *Looks up at ceiling* I could have sworn... *shrugs* Oh well. Where were we again?

Adam: I remember... *pause* no I don't...

Author/ Narrator: *whispering* Say 'ewwww'.

Nick: *clearly annoyed* We've been through this.

Author/ Narrator: Ya know what, SCREW IT!!!! Carry on! Now! Before I decide to erase the entire world!!!! *takes out Hamtaro eraser and waves it frantically around in the air, cackling wildly* MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Greg: Dude, that is one emotionally disturbed chick.

*All the guys nod*

Guys: *nod*

Author/ Narrator: Anyways...

Alex: Dude, that's just gross.

Adam: You guys should try it, *flashes yogurt-like cups that just so happen to contain cottage cheese* Trust me, I have been to heaven and back.

Ben: *nods*

Nick: Do you ever do anything other than nod?

Ben: *nods*

Alex: Ya know cottage cheese is the cause of all unidentified flatulent problems in America.

All: *confused*

Alex: Ya know, fart, larry, pull a stinky, cut the cheese?

Nick: Pull a stinky???? *confused and obviously disturbed*

Ben: *nods*

Adam: I don't care what you guys think. *cries* I love the cheese and the cheese loves me! Isn't that right Klumpy?

Greg: Dude...you named the cheese!?!

Adam: Doesn't everyone? *grabs Klumpy... uh, CHEESE!!! protectively*

Greg: *somehow is able to kick cheese from Adam's hand* You're becoming too attached to it, tell Klumpy bye, bye! *throws cheese, which lands at a nearby table where a whole bunch of caffeine deprived high school teens are eating*

Adam: *wails* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Mr. Klumpy!!! *drops to his knees, and cries, pounding his fists on the ground*

Nick: Geta hold of yourself dude!

Greg: Hey, you've been holding out!!! *Opens Adam's backpack to reveal a slightly alarming amount of cottage cheese in yogurt-like cups. Grabbing two, he throws the bag to Nick who also takes two and passes the bag to Ben who also... well you get the picture*

Soon, though, ignoring Adam's protests, cottage cheese is flying everywhere, staining, killing everything in it's path. It won't rest until we're all dead. Dead! Dead! DEAD!!!!!!!! *ahem*

*Plain and simple the moral of this story is:

Don't attempt to eat cottage cheese in yogurt-shaped cups that are conveniently travel sized.

WHY?

Because it's just downright disturbing. *shutters*

~The End~

**I blame it on the coffee and the fact that I stayed up until 11:50 writing this. Buenos noches amigos!**