Vague Understanding

I'm so lost right now, if I danced I know that I would collapse to the floor. Nothing makes sense in this fucked up world anymore. Just when I've taken a step, I learn that I'm just headed to fall Are these my tears that I feel now? Can I even call them mine? What is me anymore? Whose to judge? Where was that love that I felt, seemingly so long ago inside of a dream? And the comfort that I held so dear? Torn away from me without a last kiss. I don't understand anything anymore!

All Around me, I can only hear the laughter and music playing I choke out a smile only to receive more blows, which I'm not ready for As I bleed out worse everyday into cries never heard. How I wish that I could leave it all behind. I'm too numb to feel this world any longer Will I then understand? Then, will my silent tears dry with the subtle wind? Or will they only dry only to be replaced by a steady blood flow. I hate myself for making those fucking promises Promises never to slice away again. Now I have no choice I want to hate them, however I can't They are all that hold me down to this world anymore Before I take the final fall from this insanity. I feel so useless and alone I could scream. Don't you know that I have? Every scream is deaf to your ears, so let me be and let me die, And fade back away to nothing more than a vague image lost to forgotten dreams Where I have been forgotten, and can be alone.