Kaejihan and the Talking Fish,
by Master Elf of The Shady Crew

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Once upon a time, in a little Egyptian village by the Faiyum of the River Nile, there lived a farmer boy by the name of Kaejihan. This boy was born into a family of a mother, a father, two sisters, and four brothers, and had been raised there for all nineteen years of his oft-tedious life.

Now, in his nineteenth year, Kaejihan was married to the eldest daughter of a farmer neighbouring his parents, and they had their first child on the way.

For the past few weeks, it had been very stressful on Kaejihan to care for both his farm and his pregnant wife, and he was in dire need of relaxation, so he decided to go fishing, as not only would it provide him with recreation, but it would also bring in fish for supper if he were to catch anything, though not a food commonly eaten in Egypt for religious reasons.

So, Kaejihan woke early one morning because he wanted to have the day to himself. He quickly went through his tasks, and by the time they were finished, it was almost noon, when the chores would usually take him far into the afternoon and even to the night on a normal day.

The young man went around to the back of his house to the small storage shelter that was there, and taking his small boat and fishing stick out, made his way down to the intertwining rivers of the River Nile's Faiyum. The Faiyum was renowned for its great water life, though mainly crocodiles and various water birds for the most part, though there were many spots where the fish swam freely, as the dangerous water lizards strayed far from the deeper parts of water.

Kaejihan placed his boat in the water, and stepping into it, remembered back to his childhood when he would fish from the shore and catch nothing but minnows. He would toss his fishing stick into the water, as his brothers would always return in their boats boasting everything but minnows. He always wanted a boat of his own, but their father didn't have enough to afford another, so Kaejihan's older siblings would bully him out of the boat whenever he tried to use it.

But now, Kaejihan was living on his own farm with a wife and upcoming child, so he had a boat all to himself. He hardly found time to use it though, and when he did, it was only for short times, as he had many chores to do on the farm, and the moment, had to tend to his unable wife. So now, for him to have this time to fish, Kaejihan was full of glee.

He made his way to a spot where he often caught many fish, and cast his line, swatting at the few flies that swarmed his sweaty forehead.

After going a while without catching anything, and the warm sun beaming down on his crisp skin, Kaejihan decided he would go for a little rest, so he made sure his fishing stick was sturdy and wouldn't be pulled into the water if a fish was caught and tried to swim away, and leaned back with his hands behind his head, a smile on his face.

But, just before Kaejihan could fall asleep, he felt a tug on his fishing stick. He sprang up, and grabbing his stick, saw a mid-sized fish on the end of his line.

"Might as well bring it in," he told himself, understanding that the heat of the sun would probably keep a lot of fish in the murkier water, in which Kaejihan never fished for fear of disturbing the crocodiles.

So, Kaejihan began reeling in the fish, and as he did so, noticed something strange about the fish -- its mouth was moving awkwardly, almost like a human's.

"What in the name of Ra is this?" he questioned aloud, as he lifted the fish out of the water and heard it curse him out. "A double blasphemy of a fish -- it speaks, and curses at that."

"What do you mean?" the fish let out.

"What do I mean?" Kaejihan repeated the fish's question. "What I mean is that fish aren't supposed to talk, and even if they did, I'm sure they wouldn't use language as foul as yours."

"Well, I do talk, and I do swear, so maybe you're the blasphemous one for assuming such absurd things."

Kaejihan looked puzzled.

"What? Bast got your tongue?" the fish tried to joke.

He shook his head. "Am I dreaming? Maybe I did fall asleep, and you're just here to make my dream annoying."

"Nope."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because if you were dreaming, I don't think it'd be of talking fish," the fish explained.

"Then how come you're talking? I thought humans were the only kind that could talk."

The fish, shaking his head, asked, "If I can't talk, what am I doing right now?"

"I suppose you're right, but it's still hard to believe."

"Well, if you're done gaping over me, can you throw me back in?"

"Why should I? You're only a fish, and I'm going to eat you for supper tonight."

"But if I talk, doesn't that make me kind of like you?"

Kaejihan thought for a minute and then, after apologizing to the fish, unhooked it from his line, and tossed it back in the water. He then turned to the other side of the boat and cast his line out that way.

After a few minutes of patiently sitting, Kaejihan felt a tug on his line, so he pulled it in, and to his surprise, this new fish swore at him after being lifted out of the water as well.

"You talk too?"

"What do you mean, 'you talk too'?" it inquired.

"I caught another fish before you, and it talked to me. And to be honest, it had just as rude manners as you."

"We have rude manners for swearing at you?" It looked Kaejihan in the eyes, and asked, "Aren't you the one taking us out of our home without even asking?"

"I suppose so, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"You humans are always thinking you're the best, when really, all you do is ruin the lives of every other animal, as well as your own," the new fish explained.

"I suppose you're right."

"Is that all you ever say? 'I suppose so', and 'maybe you're right'? If you ask me, humans are the dumb ones, not fish."

"Maybe so, but it can all depend on who the human or fish is," Kaejihan pointed out.

"Yeah, whatever. You going to throw me back in now, or are you going to 'suppose' some more?"

Kaejihan, not wanting to listen to the fish anymore, unhooked it and threw it back in the water. He contemplated casting his line again, but decided against it and made his way back to the shore, where he found a crocodile lying on the ground.

"Best be quiet," he told himself, not taking his eyes off the crocodile the entire time he stepped out of his boat and pulled it out of the water.

"Well, you failed that," said the crocodile, turning its head to look at Kaejihan.

"Not you too," he pleaded, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Don't worry, I'm not questioning like those little fish," the crocodile informed Kaejihan.

"How do you know about those fish?"

"Don't worry about it -- I took care of them." The crocodile winked at Kaejihan, and slowly made its way back into the water, and swam off.

"What a weird day," Kaejihan said, walking towards his home.

When he got home, Kaejihan looked in disbelief at a pileup of fish outside his storage shelter. Wondering who could've done it, he remembered the crocodile's odd words, and laughed.

He put his boat and fishing stick away, gathered up all the fish, and went inside, calling out to his wife, "Supper's on the way."