I. The Beginning; the revelation of the Great Mushroom in the sky; Portia suckers the Great Mushroom; the nature of the Prophetess' holy name; the nature of the Great Mushroom .

1.1. In the Beginning there was a Word and the Word was 'In'.
1.2. Almost instantly was 'In' followed by 'the', and then 'Beginning'.
1.3. Yet, lo, this was no Beginning greater than that of a paragraph. You were merely deceived to have faith in that it was something Grand by the clever use of Capital Letters.
1.4. So know, ye faithful, that ye are all shmucks in the eyes of the Author.

2.1. One day, as Portia was contemplating the mysteries of the sky, a vision came to her; for lo, there was a Great Mushroom on the sky. It looked down on her and she felt a shiver of exultation pass through her body.
2.2. "Oh Great Mushroom!" she cried. "What art thou?
2.3. "Art thou a fatal vision of nuclearity, of destruction and death
2.4. "Or art thou a mushroom magical, bringer of dreams and portents?"
2.5. "I am neither of those things," replied the Great Mushroom.
2.6. "Then art thou an enigma, that I must solve? Art thou a riddle sent by some god or goddess? Oh, Great Mushroom, guide me!" distressed Portia.
2.7. "Oh Portia, Portia," sighed the Mushroom. "Here is a riddle for you to solve: How desperate can a man or, yea, a woman be, to look for guidance from a mushroom in the sky?"
2.8. And lo, so was she enlightened.

3.1. On the first day of Portia's vacation, did she experience a strange phenomenon; there was within her a flame of joy dancing, irreverent and wild despite her best attempts at binding it. Distressed, she sat down and consulted her pineal gland. "What is this confusing joy I feel within me?" she asked her pineal gland. "It is no reasonable sensation."
3.2. And her pineal gland replied, "It is the joy of achievement." Portia was satisfied, and went about her business.
3.3. On the first day of Portia's vacation, also, did her pineal gland experience a strange phenomenon; there was within it a strange compulsion to restrain itself despite its best attempts at irreverency. Distressed, it sat down and consulted Portia. "What is this confusing restraint I feel within me?" it asked Portia. "It is no reasonable sensation."
3.4. And Portia replied, "It is the distress of morals." The pineal gland was satisfied, and went about its business.
3.5. (For the pineal gland was joyful of having completed a project of three days, while Portia was reminding herself she still had a lot of work to do. Thus does Work and Worry and Achievement bring joy, but sorrow also.)
3.6. On the first day of Portia's vacation did the Great Mushroom in the sky, too, experience a strange phenomenon; there was a conflict between its favourite plaything and her pineal gland, but the conflict was being mutually accepted. Distressed, it sat down and consulted its favourite plaything. "What is this confusing conflict I feel within thee?" it asked Portia. "It is no reasonable sensation."
3.7. And Portia and her pineal gland both replied, "Reason escapes us too; for Portia cannot understand her pineal gland, and her pineal gland cannot understand her. We are at odds."
3.8. "Then why are you not struggling to understand? Is this the zeal my favourite prophetess shows?" Portia was puzzled, but her pineal gland was the wiser of the two. It replied glibly, speaking through Portia's mouth:
3.9. "That I cannot understand Portia, I accept; for in not understanding, I understand, and her, in not understanding, understands also, and thus we both learn. Were we to understand each other, we would lose our understanding, for to not understand is to understand on a level sideways from the ordinary. In this does our confusion bring conflict, and within conflict does confusion grow; and thus growing, does it teach us."
3.10. "I'm confused," said the Great Mushroom.
3.11. "Ah," said Portia, smiling. "Then you understand."
3.12. And lo, so did the Great Mushroom in the sky feel stupid for having been suckered by its favourite plaything.

4.1. Concerning the holy name of the great prophetess Portia Nth the Stimulerande:
4.2. Portia is a name that refers to omens and portents, as well as ports and harbors.
4.3. N is the initial of No God, No Entity and No Person; indeed, it is the initial of Nobody At All; also, n is the letter referring to an unspecified number, a number that could be any number at all.
4.4. Stimulerande means stimulating in Swedish. In katakana, the word would be written 'sutuimurerande', which is difficult to pronounce properly and bears very little resemblance to the original word.
4.5. The prophetess chose this name to be her holy name because it was the first thing that popped into her mind.
4.6. Reflect upon this carefully.

5.1. Concerning the Great Mushroom in the sky:
5.2. Indeed, there are many interpretations of the meaning behind the Great Mushroom. The truth of its divine nature is revealed only through revelations. Only the enlightened receive revelations. Only revelations bring forth enlightenment. Thusly, if a man is not enlightened to begin with, no revelations will come to him, and thusly is the secret of the Mushroom kept a mystery. All hail Discordia!
5.3. There is no goddess but the Goddess and she is your goddess. There is no mushroom but the Great Mushroom and it is the Great Mushroom. Therefore is the Great Mushroom also the Great Goddess, and the Great Goddess is the Mushroom, and yet the Great Goddess is herself and herself alone, and the Mushroom is itself and itself alone.
5.4. The Great Goddess chose to appear to Portia as the Great Mushroom because the Great Mushroom is itself and itself alone. Yet it is the Goddess also, for the Goddess is herself and herself alone.
5.5. Reflect upon this carefully.

II. The celestial game of Go Fish.

1.1. This is the holy order of the celestial game of Go Fish, as revealed to prophetess Portia Nth the Stimulerande:
1.2. There is Great Chaos, the state from which all that is took form; and it is the highest of the high and the mightiest of the mighty.
1.3. There is Glorious Order, the state of all that has taken form; and it is the highest of the high and the mightiest of the mighty.
1.4. There is Grand Balance, the state of everything that's undecided or mutual; and it is, also, the highest of the high and the mightiest of the mighty.
1.5. (It is said that the Paradox of the Three High and Mighty is the truly High and Mighty thing about them; it is also said that the business of them being high and mighty at all is just so much drivel and that the true superior force of the universe is that of the six-legged caterpillar.)
1.6. There is Yggdrasil, otherwise known as the Tree of Life, or the Kabbala, and yet otherwise known as the World, and it is a precious essence the Three High and Mighty generally squabble about.
1.7. There is Hel, otherwise known as Oblivion, or Manala, and yet otherwise known as Death, and it is another precious essence the Three High and Mighty generally squabble about.
1.8. There is the Human Race, the animal species dominant on the third rock from the sun in the Time of Human, between the Times of Dinosaur and Giant Caterpillar, and they are the precious essence Yggdrasil and Hel generally squabble about.
1.9. There is Religion of Submission, and it is the Christianity and it is the Hinduism and it is the Mahayana Buddhism, and it is the precious essence the Human Race generally treasures.
1.10. There is Religion of Dominance, and it is the Satanism and it is the Science and it is the Magic, and it is another precious essence the Human Race generally treasures.
1.11. There are also 23 Fives of Clubs.
1.12. The rules of the celestial game of Go Fish are as follows:
1.13. First the prophet or prophetess shuffles Great Chaos, Glorious Order, Grand Balance, Yggdrasil, Hel, Human Race, Religion of Submission, Religion of Dominance and 23 Fives of Clubs into a single deck of cards.
1.14. Then the prophet or prophetess dances the holy dance of the celestial game of Go Fish, which goes as follows:
1.15. A jump to the left, and then a step to the right; with your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight; then the pelvic thrust, repeated five times; followed by a hipswivel. Clucking like a cow is optional.
1.16. After finishing the holy dance, the prophet or prophetess throws all cards into the air and cackles maniacally; then he or she stomps on the cards to represent rebellion and disrespect.
1.17. After this, five items are picked from the deck. If the combination goes as follows: Great Chaos, Human Race, the Joker, an egg, and five tons of flax, all players proceed to declare each other pope or popess (regardless of gender) and have a great celebration;
1.18. If the combination is any other, reshuffle the deck and try again.

III. The nature of Great Chaos; the nature of Glorious Order; the nature of Grand Balance; the nature of Yggdrasil; the nature of Hel.

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2.1. 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9=45.
2.2. 4+5=9.
2.3. 9x5=45.
2.4. Everything in this world has a number.
2.5. The number of Glorious Order is FIVE.

3.1. 0/0, 1/1, 2/2, 3/3, 4/4, 5/5, 6/6, 7/7, 8/8, 9/9, o_o
3.2. GOD spelled backwards is DOG. LORD spelled backwards is DROL. There is great wisdom in this.
3.3. Seek ye the truth of polarities;
3.4. Or, failing this, seek ye the lie of them; for within negations you may find great knowledge;
3.5. And keep ye in mind that TRUTH spelled sideways is HURTT.

4.1. Common Sense:
4.2. The world is flat.
4.3. The sky is a dome.
4.4. There is a tree in the middle of the world holding up the sky.
4.5. The tree is actually a mushroom.

5.1. Small thing turn into big things, and big things, in turn, turn into small things.
5.2. Yet sometimes do big things turn into small things, and then turn back into big things.
5.3. And yet do some things remain the same; and yet, do some things dwell within darkness, and some in light, and some on the edge of bigness or smallness.
5.4. For, in truth, were there no big things, there would be no small things either.
5.5. And so there is death.

IV. The nature of Human Race; the nature of the Religion of Submission; the nature of the Religion of Dominance; the nature of the 23 Fives of Clubs; the Iron Cage.

1.1. One made into many is many born from one but still lacking oneness.
1.2. Many made into one is one born from many but still lacking the essence of a multitude.
1.3. There are three truly great races of mammal life born on the planet called Earth:
1.4. Gorillas; Dolphins; and the greatest in the history of the world:
1.5. Idiots.

2.1. There was a bloke, yea, and he said unto God:
2.2. "God, thou art mighty, and I am naught but a worm."
2.3. And lo, so was he a worm, and God was mighty.
2.4. And lo, were they both happy; the worm, for being favoured by God;
2.5. And God, for being favoured by the worm.

3.1. There was another bloke, yea, and this bloke said unto God:
3.2. "God, I speak the secret word of power, 'blooper', and therefore must thou do my bidding."
3.3. And lo, so did God, not being able to resist the secret word of power, 'blooper',
3.4. Do the bloke's bidding. And the bloke was happy, yea, for his bidding was done;
3.5. And God was happy, also, for He condemned the bloke to eternal bitchhood on the spot.

4.1. Strings run throughout a fabric
4.2. Run run run through the fabric of TIME, baby
4.3. Right into your itty bitty BRAIN, baby
4.4. Making you THINK there's such a thing as a CLUB
4.5. So you go club club clubbing at twenty three.

5.1. One day the prophetess Portia nth the Stimulerande was amusing herself by indulging in a quarrel with a bothersome idealist, when suddenly a great revelation came to her. She saw, quite clearly, a huge iron caging around the earth, pushing all people down by its weight. She jumped up, her eyes shining with the light of comprehension.
5.2. "I understand!" she cried. "The whole world is chasing ghosts!
5.3. "People feel obligated to their ideals, as if these ideals were real, material things.
5.4. "In doing so, they create a world-wide destructive madness that leads to war and strife all over the world. And they do not realize they are mad at all!"
5.5. Then did she burst out in maniacal laughter, which so often is the sign of a True prophet of Eris Esoteric.