Let us first examine life in general, what qualifies as "life" and what really shouldn't even be mentioned (Teletubbies, anyone?). To begin with, life must invariably be an organism. I'm sure this is a very wide category, and encompasses a great deal under its "organism" heading. For the sake of this article we shall assume this simple motto (a favorite one of McDonalds and general grunt-labor jobs) "if it breaths" it's an organism which is life.

     Beyond that basic description of life, can we truly consider a prerecorded message a certain sign of life on Uranus? Oddly enough, my first instinct is to say no: the prerecorded message does not prove that there is life on Uranus.

     Allow me to elaborate . . .

     If I were to continue this discussion of life we would reach a point of mental postulation that would invariably conclude with this: life does not exist*.

     The universe, as we have already established, is infinite. And we know through common knowledge that life (i.e., things that breathe) are finite in existence. To compare one to another, well, it becomes rather muddled, to say the least.

     You see, simple mathematics can show us how utterly insignificant life is in the grand scheme of things – straight to the point of its nonexistence. To apply a mathematical comparison to a finite existence against infinity, you would see something like this:

     100:0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000010376

     (Rounded to the nearest gaglion-fillionth)

     Again, to compare these numbers using simple mathematics (where 100 represents infinity and, well, the second number represents life) we round the numbers to something a little more manageable:

     100:0

     (Rounded to the nearest whole number)

     So as you can plainly see, life simply does not exist. Does this help explain the peculiar prerecorded message on Uranus? Not really, but now I don't expect to find too much as I started into the depths of Uranus.

* This becomes a rather important issue in my adventures following Uranus, The Universality of None, should you care to jump ahead of yourself, thus negating this very footnot and purpose of this entire section of the book. Thank you.