This is my first FBC short story. She can also be seen in TASTC: The Anti Slang Talking Crew although that takes place years from this one. Oh, and the back story to this one is coming soon starting with  Tales of Foxannia: The Beginning.

Praise the Lady and Pass the Ammunition

A Foxy Bonecracker Short Story

“Careful shugah, Ah wouldn’t want you t’ hurt yourself.”

“How nice of you to be so concerned with my welfare, Foxy. Would you mind getting up here and actually helping me?”

“Ah’m comin’ BB Gun. Don’t get yoah knickers in a twist!”

“I’m not wearing knickers. It’s boxer shorts.”

“Ah’m surprised.”

“Surprised? Why would you....Oh. BITCH!”

“The original foxan bitch if you please.”

Blackstripe Blue turned with the heavy crate in both his hands. his long dark hair was already coming loose from the tight ponytail he’d put it into. The tall, slender foxan female flew up and grabbed the other end of the crate.

“Better shugah?”

“Heaps. Thank you. Why we gotta do this anyway?”

“Hey, shes your mother. Don’t ask me.”

“Two foxans at midnight, humping around crates of  goddess-knows-what and not a Darkite in sight. Maybe when we’re finished with this last crate me and you can go-”

“Don’t even think about it. Maggit.”

“Tease.”

“Sex-crazed beast.”

“Rope wielding nutjob.”

“Male slut.”

“Psychotic sociopath basket case.”

“And proud.”

“Only you could be proud of being that, Bonecracker.”

“Only ah could be that and be the so-called saviour of th’ universe at the same time.”

“So-called? Gee FBC you’re always putting yourself down. You know you’re El Ojos Azuls. Why you gotta have such a big downer on yourself all the time?”

“Bein’ El Ojos Azuls didn’t save mah parents. It didn’t save Donovan.”

“Donovan’s still alive.”

“Yeah, but he’s a Demonique.”

“A renegade Demonique.”

“He should still be human. Not a demon. Not like us.”

“Hey what’s wrong with bein’ a demon? We can fly, teleport, and heaps of other cool stuff.”

The pair lowered the crate onto the device they’d rigged up. Foxy turned and pressed a button the side of the device and the crate disappeared.

“We better head back too. If th’ Darkites get a whiff of us stealin’ crates outta one o’ their bases they’re gonna want t’ slice us, dice us ‘n’ serve us up t’ The Darke One for a starter course.” she said. Her friend nodded.

“Yep. Now would be a good time to leave.” He said, his eyes fixated on something behind the raven-haired vix. “But I think we’ll be staying for a little while longer.”

“Why?”

“Oh, the seventy or so Darkite bastards behind you.”

Foxy looked behind her. As Blackstripe had said there was indeed seventy or so Darkites standing behind her, smiling evilly and looking at their assorted weaponry with eyes that said the weapons would have blood on them sooner or later.

“Oh .....SHIT!” she screamed. “Ah can’t get a break!”

“Still using the language of the humans I see Foxy.” Blackstripe said. He held his hands out and two broadswords appeared in each one. Twirling them about menacingly, he grinned.

“Ok zors ‘n’ vixes, how about we have a little rumble?”

The leader of the Darkite troupe stepped up. “Fine by me. You two are gonna be dead by dawn.”

“Shugah Ah wouldn’t bet on that if Ah was you. Ah’m no normal little vix.” Foxy said. “BB Gun? You wanna cover for me whilst Ah get ready t’ rock?”

“Sure thing.” Blackstripe said and charged headlong into the group, swords flailing about wildly. Foxy smiled. She knew the Darkites wouldn’t hurt him before she joined the fray. Blackstripe could be a leech and a pervert but he was a mighty good warrior, swords being his speciality. Her battle skills settled in the array of demonic powers most of the inhabitants of Foxannia had under their command. All she needed was a little time to call her power and then she would walk all over these idiots.

Standing apart from the ensuing battle, she reached out with her mind and chanted the spell to bring her weapon to her.

“Power of the goddess, grant me this boon. The baton of my ancestors will be mine to use.”

A beam of blue light came down from the heavens as Foxy yelled the last part of her spell.

“Release, LE MOCHETA!”

The light dimmed and took form of a blue and silver baton. On the top was a silver 8-pointed star set into a ring of dark blue gems. the main body of the baton was pale blue and at the bottom were two gems, dark and pale blue and sticking out from these were two silver bat wings, one either side of the baton. Foxy took hold of her baton and smiled knowingly.

“Oh shugahs!” she called sweetly. Every demon turned and looked at her.

“Ah said Ah wasn’t a normal vix,” she said, removing her shades. “now, d’ y’all believe me?”

The Darkites gasped in horror. The head Darkite pointed a finger at her.

“You, you have blue eyes!”

“Keee-rect!” Foxy said chirpily. The Darkite looked about him.

“You are the Prophecy Vix. El Ojos Azuls. The one forsworn to bring down Our Lord The Darke One and restore the heinous witch Starose as Foxannia’s goddess.” he said. Foxy nodded.

“Yep. That would be me. Tough job too, y’know?”

The Darkite decided that bravado would be his best option and glared at her.

“Tell me, witch. Do you have a name?”

Foxy’s smile widened and Blackstripe slapped a hand to his head.

“You just had to say it didn’t you?” he muttered.

Leaping up, El Ojos Azuls struck a pose.

“Nom de plume, FBC! I am the Princess of justice and freedom, the beautiful blue-eyed Princess. I am Foxy Eliza Alanna BEEEEEEEEEEETHANY BONECRACKER! Now for the honour of Foxannia and all good demons, you’re about to get your ass kicked!”

“Not only is she The Prophecy Vix, but she’s also a ancestor of Foxrose the Bonecracker. Great.” said the Darkite. “Never mind. I’LL KILL YOU BITCH!”

He charged at her while Blackstripe and the rest of the Darkites stood and watched. Foxy flew high up into the air as the Darkite leapt at her. She backflipped and landed on her feet, still smiling ever so sweetly.

“That th’ best ya got shugah?”

“The Darkite charged again, this time he teleported midway through the charge and reappeared at Foxy’s side, slashing her across the face as she leapt back, unprepared.

Foxy put her hand to her face and it came back bloody. Blackstripe gulped nervously. That Darkite was dead. He just didn’t know it yet.

“Didn’t yoah mama ever teach you right? Never an’ Ah mean NEVER mark a vix’s face.”

“Whatsamatta? Scared you won’t be able to go to the ball?” jeered the Darkite. “A good likkle Starosian vix like yourself all worried bout her face? You’re just a little vix playing dress up. You’re too goody good.”

Foxy smiled grimly.

“When Ah’m good, Ah’m good.”

The smile widened, showing her sharp white fangs.

“But when Ah’m bad....Y’all gonna die.”

She raised the now glowing baton to the heavens., then pointed it directly at the Darkites heart.

“Now y’all learn why Ah am the Prophecy Vix! BONECRACKER CELESTIAL FLAME!”

The fire that came from the baton surrounded the Darkite like an egg, turning itself inside out to eat at him. He screamed in agony. The rest of the Darkites didn’t waste any time. They scattered to the four winds and headed back to their main base, Darke Isle. When the fire was done eating the Darkite and he was just a heap of ash, it disappeared. Foxy struck another pose.

“And it’s strike, strike, strike for FBC!” She giggled. Blackstripe shook his head wearily.

“How the hell does anyone cope with you?”

*********************************

White Raptor Castle was the ancestral home of Foxy’s family and for the past 17 years it had been a communal home for all supporters of the goddess Starose. Foxy and Blackstripe floated into the Great Hall and slumped down on two chairs.

“Hey Serena? Y’all get them crates all righ’?” Foxy called. A slim blond vix appeared in the doorway.

“Yes I did. Thank you for getting them. I heard there was some trouble, are you two okay?”

“Yep. We’re fine. Foxy fried a Darkite. All’s well with the world. Praise the Lady and pass the ammunition.” Blackstripe said then put his head down on the dining table, closing his amber eyes.

“What’s in them darn crates anyway?” Foxy asked. Serena smiled.

“Weapon components. We can make some really good energy weapons with this bunch. Beat them Darkites good ‘n’ proper.”

“Yay.” Foxy muttered. “But remember, the head honcho is mine t’ take out.”

“I wouldn’t dream of stepping on Destiny’s toes.” Serena replied.

“Destiny’s a bitch. Ah want The Darke One fer revenge.”

“And if you fulfil the prophecy whilst avenging your parents all shall be well.” Serena said. She patted her now sleeping son on the head and left the room to gloat over the stolen weapon parts. Foxy sighed and raised her eyes to the mural on the wall depicting the history of White Raptor.

“Ah think BB gun said it best.” She said and couldn’t help smiling.

“Praise the Lady an’ pass th’ ammunition. Shugah.”