- Sancho and Zoek -

Chapter 79: The Diamonds and Rust

A/N: About the chapter title - I give up trying to think of chapter titles that actually have something to do with the chapter, so we're switching to song titles. Of course they're all still going to have "the" in front of 'em, but anyway. P

"The average length of an adult novel, however, is around 120,000 words." -

I do believe we're past that right now. D Just thought I'd let you know. Anyone who's still reading this story, I seriously love you!

I was about to knock on the door, the big red ornate door on the fifth floor, but then the door kind of opened on its own and slammed me in the face. The person who opened the door seemed rather confused...because no one appeared to be there, but obviously she hit something.

"Hello?" She looked behind the door, and lo and behold, poor little squashed me was on the floor in pain. "Awe, you got hit by the door! That's the fifth time this month! ; It's a brand new door."

"Ow ow ow My head..."

"; I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She wrapped her arms around my head and hugged it. "I mean it, I really am! You know, we don't exactly have a stellar team of carpenters or mechanics or whoever works on these things and I sure as hell didn't pick out the door, stupid bitchy Queen Amaria did 'cause it's her castle and no glory for those of us who are just kind of freeloaders or rather only here because the secret service demands we be here in the event that somebody dies even thought that's highly unlikely so we can't do anything about it even though we'd really like to do something, like possibly paint the walls a funky orange color just to piss her off, after all she never comes to this section of the castle because it's supposedly for peasants like us who suck and will never rule but are adored by the masses anyway just because we live here, and you know, it really does suck and I blame her for this door impaling your head."

Yeah, this is definitely Zoek's mommy. D

She didn't look all that different from what I expected of the royal folks here. Orange-reddish kimono, purple hair with the top half of it done up in a bun, the bottom hanging loosely. Green eyes, black wings, obviously a demon...she didn't look all that old either. I'm guessing late 30's, early 40's, but she looks pretty good for her age.

"...Well? You're one of Savaric's kids. Since I hate Amaria, this castle's as good as yours, so make yourself at home. How can I be of service, honored guest?" Is it just me, or does she seem the type to be plotting an assassination of the queen?

"Um, well...I wanted to ask you something." Here goes nothing. gulp

"Ask away, ask away, none better a day than today to ask anyway, so if you may, ask away!" Hey, she reminds me of my dad, always making up random phrases, either Confucianistic or just plain silly.

"It's about Zoek..."

"Do me a favor and kick his ass when the time comes when you two battle. I'm sick of living in this damn castle. ; You can battle, can't you? Of course you can, you're an Uzumaki. Good magic's in your blood and mine too."

"Actually, I don't know any magic. ;;"

"...oo Where did you grow up?"

"Earth."

"...Woah. D You grew up in human land. That's so cool. I never really thought there was an Earth but I guess you're living proof, after all you've got this strange accent and you're like the only demon I've ever met that doesn't know magic besides the half-demons but they don't count because they're half-demons, but you know, the little kid that's supposed to rule after Amaria, he can't do a speck of magic, so I guess that's good, 'cause then he can't rule and maybe someone else can rule, that'd be more than dandy, you know?" There she goes again, queen of run-on sentences that make little sense at all.

Hey, I heard my species somewhere in there. "o.o But I'm a half-demon."

"..." Pause. Continue. "So wait, you're...? Woah. Are you born out of wedlock or something? XD;"

"No, no! What, is there something wrong with me being a half-demon?"

"Nope, I don't care. Some other people do, though. Kind of an unfortunate situation the halfs are in, but nevermind, we Goldaphairas are a multi-racial family of love. 3 Now then, I'm sorry I got us seriously sidetracked. What about Zoek?" You know, I'm really starting to question how old she is. She doesn't act her age at all ;

At this point I was considering tossing my whole speech and instead just asking her flat out, otherwise if I didn't, I'd never get this out. "Uh...I really love him. And I..."

"Hah. Fanboy."

Oh, I'm a little more than a fanboy. "...Look. I'm a prince, he's a prince. Can I marry him?"

"But you're a guy...o.o; Don't you know? All angels are straight and all demons are gay. That's the way it's been since...well, since the angel communist regime decided all angels would be straight."

"He's not. He's gay. Why do you think he's rejected every single girl he's been offered?"

"..." Got her. I win!

"To tell you the story of how we know each other would probably freak you out, but I've known him for three years and I love him dearly. Please, if you let me, I will take care of your son, 'til death comes upon us. I know I'm not a girl, I'm not a princess, but if you just considered it..."

She looked puzzled with a mixture of emotions. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Hm..."

"Well?"

"Politically, it'd be suicide. The angels would so hate us, the demons wouldn't like it because you're a half-demon, not to mention you're distant cousins ?"

"Yeah. Didn't you know?"

"No...?"

"I guess Savarics didn't tell you anything, did he. Well, there's three ruling families in Aecitia: Konomaki, Uzumaki, Goldaphaira. There's the heads of each family: Stormiliah, Savarics, and Tina, respectively. They're all siblings, meaning you too are a distant cousin of mine."

This is a horrible twist of fate.

So he's related to me...? Wait, that doesn't matter at all, considering I just made out with my own twin brother a mere hour ago and almost enjoyed it. But you know, that's like not marrying on Earth because every single one of us is probably descended from the same two humans, thus we're all related anyway. And of course, I've known him before this disturbing plot twist!

"Bah. I don't care, I love Zoek and that's all there is to it! I don't care if it's political suicide either!"

"Well," she paused, thought, pondered, considered, "since I'm not the queen, it doesn't matter too much. I mean...if you want to ask him, sure, go ahead, but he always turns everyone down, you know? Says he's waiting for the right one, whoever that is, and he's already past marrying age meaning we have a bit of a crisis on our hands as it is, everyone's pissed that Zoek isn't married yet and having kids, because God only knows we're at a spouse shortage 'n all, and by the way, his fangirls are quite rabid so you might want to fear for your life, but if he says yes, get back to me and we'll have a wedding the next day? But I doubt he will, I mean...well, I can't really stop him if he wants to marry you, though I don't know why he'd want to." There she goes again. But hidden in that long garbled reply somewhere was the answer I needed.

"He already said yes."

Her eyes widened like someone had just died.

"Where is he, damnit!? I must see this for myself!"

"He's...well..." Crap, he's at Earth! I've kidnapped her son! What do I do? "...um, he's not here right now!"

"Oh? Did you kidnap him?"

"...Well, to be completely honest with you, yes."

She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "I like your style. You'll make a fine hubbie for Zoek."

Somehow I feel like this is a bad thing...well, anyway, I'm off to go get Zoek.

A/N: Yes, this was so unrealistic. P Deal. As for the distant cousin thing, that will actually be explained more in depth in another chapter...even though most of you folks probably don't care. XD