Free Speech Essay #12-Crying, School, and the Results of That Disastrous Mixture

I hate crying in school. It's so much of an ordeal, there is WAY too many people asking you what's wrong, and what you're crying about will probably be around the whole campus in 5 minutes flat. There is no way to stop the flow of gossip, especially in one of those small private schools where everyone knows everyone and the class size is 75. There is a long, torturous, 12-way conversation (there is no way the conversation would be limited to two people-various individuals have a habit of dropping in and out of talking distance), often punctuated by several uncontrollable sobs and an explanation that is repeated 12 times (and often by various people- see how the whole school finds out?) and is promptly ended by the best friends of the cryer going and either a.) Cussing out the individual who made the person cry in the first place, b.) Saying it's all right, and grades or whatever made the person cry will feel better, or c.) Making up with the cryer because they were the people that made the person cry in the FIRST PLACE.

I have nothing against comforting a crying person...hey, if they want comfort and support, it's fine with me. And they need all the help (or peace) they can get from friends. That is all fine and dandy. But what about choice "a"?

This is the point where things either turn disastrous or extremely hilarious...in 20 years. Or even in 20 minutes...just not at that moment. The best friends go and cuss out the...jerk...who made the person cry. Ultimately, the cussing either gets to extreme (o ye of fragile ears) or they just get fed up with hearing "You fucking bastard" 20 times in one breath (yes, it is possible. I have heard several people do it....wanna say it 20 times fast? It's really hard...and the curser isn't the only one with a tied tongue during the performance). At the point of breaking, the jerk (as we shall call him/her (for lack of PG-13 rated words...one "fucking bastard" is enough in one essay) is forced under pressure to go over to the cryer and er...apologize. Whether the jerk knows what he/she's apologizing for.

Here's where things go disastrous or humorous. The offended one can either accept the apology graciously (an action that yours truly has much trouble with) or, like yours truly tends to do, they can stand there and give the offender ANOTHER cussing. Yes, it is funny. For everyone but the participants. Let's just abbreviate the common place cursing: UFAHSOBBBFHUFMF!!!!!

Indeed.

Yes, you are an educated (I'm assuming here) human being. You can work out that dirty little acronym yourself.

Afterwards, both the cusser and the cussee feel rather bad. Which is an understatement. They feel like either a happy lil bitch that gave the person what they deserved, or a bit like shit. Either way, one person ends up unhappy. Or guilty. Or guiltily happy. Just depends on the mood.

I generally feel like screaming that whole acronym (in the unabbreviated form) all over again. Then typing an email with it and sending it to the whole world. Then rubbing it in the person's face again, except this time with permanent ink or a tattoo needle. (I can see it now...UFAHSOBBFHUFMF!!! In bright yellow...ah yes, to match the person's bravery...and piss). But I know, secretly, that afterwards I won't be pondering the point of my life (because I will be depressed by my destruction)...I will be repeatedly poking myself in the eye with it. And I STILL won't see that person's point of view. Whether they really be a MFSOB or not.

Did I mention what a LOSER that person was? Lo Ser. To be it, or not be it. That is the question.