January, the 2nd.

I'm Miguel, I'm still 12, and I am writing this so I don't get mad.

Today will be a nice day. Or so say the clouds. Just two of them. Everything else is blue sky.

Funny enough, the poet was wrong. The birds, they just don't sing any more. Nobody left to care for them, so they die.

I buried Mary yesterday. You know, from the third floor. Finally, there is nobody else, just me.

Just, me

Like, I shouldn't get obsessed with this a lot. Besides, I was never so popular at school. No, not that I'd love to bully people around, but I love to be alone... for a time.

Today will be a nice day, but I have woken up alone, and alone I will go to bed. But, I should leave these obsessive thoughts

Hey, got an idea! I shall go to the library, to pick up a couple of books; well, each one I want in fact. I think I will take my torch, just in case it's dark when I come back. There is no light any longer; did you know that? not electric light, I mean. I should take care of that too, but I still have batteries left.

Well, I say you goodbye, it's getting late... if I don't go on with this diary, it means that I will have died. Or well, or got lost or something...

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January, the 3rd

I'm just 13. Just so you know I am alive and all that, but I'm having no party. Besides, alone, like it would not be so much fun. But, you can still congratulate me!

Thanks! No, don't worry, I've already got my presents. I took 20 books from the library, the coolest I found.

Well, I shall keep on writing, see you soon. If not, you know my fate...

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January, the 4th

I suppose I can call myself a teen now. But I feel more or less the same. Maybe it just doesn't matter any longer. Now, I have a calendar, but, of course, it will be over in a year... maybe I will make me one myself, I don't know, perhaps it's worthless.

What I have to do soon is to wash my clothes, because I have not a clean thing left. Not in the washing machine, of course, because there's no electricity...Oh my, the water I will have to load...by the way, the bathroom just stinks... yeah, I know, but if you had to carry loads of water up over seven stories.

What I'm going to do, is to move to the the first floor. Mom had their key, just in case, something happened

Sorry for the stains. My tears, you know. Well, what I'll do is to go down myself and a couple of things I like; books, games and that stuff, you know it's boring to be so alone always. Then, I'll see what I can find down there.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 4th

Well, just moved! In fact this house is quite like my old one, same rooms, same corridors and all that; but in a way quite different: the furniture, the decoration, the smell; it's like the house knew I am an intruder.

I am already cleaning, not just washing my clothes. Before me, some pigeons had broke in and well, you know, they have done their little things here. But, I'm already at it, and it looks much better now. I have never been a big fan of homemaking. I suppose kids aren't, but, now, the world is such a big mess that I only want to have a little haven, a small "alcázar".

"Alcázar" is a very nice word; you know, Spain was once an Arab country, and so came this word. It's like a castle, but much more beautiful, and Spanish .

I don't think I can make this whole condo beautiful. In fact, it's so awful that not even before the... virus, you wished nobody at school knew you lived here. But, my floor, I think I can, and for a time it will be good enough for me.

There's no fresh food left, but got loads of cans from the mall, for more than a year. I wonder what will happen later, maybe I'll starve... do you know what to do? Maybe to grow vegetables or something...

Well, it's getting dark, and I want to ration my batteries, so I shall go to bed.

If I don't go on with this diary, just pray for me....

Good night.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

Hi, I'm still alive, but perhaps I'm sick. Everything hurts so much and I've got a temperature. Maybe it's just flu. Spaniard or not, I'm not immune. But maybe it isn't. Well, I'm going to sleep... if I don't keep on writing, well, you know.

I am so afraid.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 6th

I am still here. It feels so good to be alive. You know, I am happy it hurts so much, because I am alive. I hope it is flu.

Maybe you don't know about Virus 0.1%. The CNN called it Virus 10% some months ago, because that was the percentage, scientists hoped, would survive. They were wrong, no, I think they didn't want to tell the truth. It was such a chaos already. Then, a month ago, the last TV program I could watch, renamed it "Virus 1%" Two days after Christmas my brother called it "Virus 0" just before passing away.

But I am still here. And unless I stop writing you can call it Virus 0.1%

Sorry, it hurts, I'm so tired... Tomorrow, I will be better.

Know something? If I get to live a day more, I will try to write better... maybe these are my last days on earth, if that is so, let's make it beautiful.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 7th

I stink. I know this is not really beautiful , but it is the truth.

Mom has been caring for me. I saw her yesterday, just after writing. She was singing my lullaby, and I thought I was about to meet her in Heaven, but she was actually healing me. I know.

Oh, maybe you are thinking it was fever; but have not you ever been healed by your mom? Then, I'm sorry for you. She was there, I know.

She is so beautiful, even as a ghost. Hovering on the ground, her hair waved by the air, I was entranced by her smile. She caressed me, warmly, tenderly; making me feel like a little baby again, but a loved one.

I am still sick, but I am getting better. Today I will be able to drag me to the bathroom. It will be a cold bath, you know, I'm out of fuel, electricity and you name it, but...

I stink!, I really stink. I stink so much, mom skunk would adopt me. So I am taking a bath. I still hope to be here tomorrow, but will probably write just a line or two as I don't expect anything important to happen.

Thanks for being there, my friends.

oops, I forgot, I am writing in red, because my other pen died. Don't worry, I shall get another one from the mall, anytime soon.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 8th

I don't know if she will make it.

I found her this morning, lying on the floor. What I first noticed was that something was strangely out of place. Holding my torch I was walking through the aisles. From time to time, the beam made a cockroach to sprint through the floor casting a huge shadow. Then, the light met her. The very first thing I saw was her black blue face.

She was alive of course, but I didn't think so then but that she had fallen face down on the floor because of the virus, passing out immediately. But when I reached her I noticed she was warm. I took my ear to her breast and then, faintly, it was there a beat... a joyful beat.

Should I call her Eve? Well, no, Maria I think, till she can tell me her name. I took Maria home.

No, that was not so easy. It has been a real pain really. She must be anyway from 11 to 14, it's hard to tell now from that broken face, but there's something I can assure you.

She is fat! :-)

Well, if she survives, I will tell you more tomorrow. I don't want you to feel too much for her, just in case, you know.

Oh, by the way. I'm much better.

See you tomorrow.

PS: As you can see, I got a load of pens

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 9th

I took her outside. She didn't make it.

Then, when I was placing her by the sidewalk, the morning sun stroke her eyes lightly; and, to my amazement, she opened her eyes. I was wrong, she is alive.

Her real name is Jennifer, and she's 12. More than that I don't know, as she stayed awake for just a few minutes. Jennifer doesn't seem to be feeling much pain, rather is like she is completely exhausted.

I carried her back home, to the main bedroom. I took the couch there, so I can watch her dreams. I don't know if that will do any good, but if she dies at least she is going to have someone by her side. Maybe she doesn't mind? Maybe, but still it feels the right thing to do.

I washed her a little. Just the face. It was partly covered with dried blood. I thought it was nothing but dirtiness. Oh, now what you are waiting for.

She is pretty. Fat, but pretty. Maybe it's that I needed some company, but even her blacked eyes still show a bit of their former glory. I think she got blue eyes, and a beautiful, long blond hair. And the most delicate lips I've seen in ages, thank God, untouched.

I don't think I will sleep all right tonight. Maybe she didn't just fall. But then who would do this? I mean, even if there is someone else out there, there is no need to steal anybody; there is more than plenty for anyone. Possibly, I'm just spending too much time alone; I hope that will end soon.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

Hi, this is Jessica, and...

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 10th

No, that was not Jessica. It was me; for a moment I believed it would be a good idea to tell things from her viewpoint. But, she's a real person, not a character in a movie. So, I think, I'd rather ask her to write her own, when she gets better, of course.

We were able to chat for a little while. She doesn't remember or she doesn't want to tell me what happened to her. I think she was lying to me, she looked at me like a skinny freshman would look to a 17 years old bully, you know the ones who look like a walking oak. Anyway, she told me that her family tried to run from the virus, but to no avail. She is the last survivor. Just like me.

She is probably telling the truth. I mean I would be scared too if I were to open my eyes and find myself at somebody's else home.

But I did something more than chatting with Jessica. I found an antiquarian shop. And, what do you get in antiquarian shop? Appliances that work without electricity! Yipee! Got some oil lamps, the fuel I did get from a car. Got enough for a month. And there's a coal cooker too... Praise God.

Now I only learn to need to learn how to cook. Or, maybe, Jessica She will have to help me to carry it, because it is heavy, but when there is a will...

Besides that, I did some cleaning, not just maintenance I mean but a really deep one. And, I'm starting to paint with pastels. Maybe I will include one or two here, if I do anything not completely horrible.

I have written enough today, and I have to care for Jessica. May God keep you and bless you.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January, the 11th

She's gone!

I'm running to find her. Why can't I be happy for a day?

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

Awful.

Sorrowful its another word I have to describe how I feel. Yes, I have been unable to find her and I dread I will never be able to meet her again.

Will I ever see another human being? And, if I will, should I trust him or her? She didn't, perhaps with good reason. I mean, she could be out of her mind, but maybe she had been hit by someone. If that's true, do I have something else to fear...someone?

This is not, not, NOT! fair. I had got used to be alone, but then she gave me hope, and today that hope is gone.

The Lord gave it to me.
The Lord took it out from me.
Blessed be the Lord.

But why?
Why me?

Well, let me hide my tears with a smile: I guess there's no one left. I'd better be good. The Lord and the guy in red pajamas and with the big fork must be watching for me closely.

Tomorrow. If there is one, I'll make up a decission. I will tell you then.

May Christ bless you and keep you.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January, the 12th

I am going to make you wait...

a little.

A little more,

just a little bit more.

Ok, now I will tell you. I'm moving, yet again. Guess where?

The library

It is big. And that's my favorite size.

It has tons of books.

It is beautiful.

It is closer to the mall.

It is filled with pieces of art.

The main disadvantage lies in that it lacks a full bathroom, just lavatories; but I am bringing a portable swimingpool from the mall. A small one.

Hey, my own indoor pool. Na na na na na

Ok, I'm going. Later I will tell you how it went.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January, the 12th

I had to walk for hours, but then, I found it: my truck. Just your pretty run-of-the-mill vehicle; no fancy features that I am aware of (take that with a grain of salt: what do I know about cars?)
but with a superb one.

Keys inside! I didn't even have to break a window. Thanks, Abba.

Next came the hard part. Turning it on, and driving it. Well, sort of. Let's just say I'm happy there is no other car on the road, no trafficlights to take care of, no need to park it properly, and no people looking. I simply left it. The tank is half filled, but that's all right. I only need to drive short distances, and I think I could get more fuel from other cars. Some years worth, it seems.

Then I took the essentials into the truck: food cans, pasta, a bed, my cooking instruments and kitchen stuff, clothes, soap, shampoo and its friends; my pastels and books. I know, it's funny to bring books to a library, but I haven't yet finished them.

Went to the library, unloaded and fell into the ground. I fell aslept there and woke up.

It is dark already. I am so stupid to forget my torch and gas lamps. Can you believe it? Yes, you can . But, there's an observatory at the top of the library; a cristal dome with an old fashioned telescope, and this night there is a good moon smiling, blessing me with her light.

Well, it's getting late, and I will need to work hard tomorrow so I shall take some canned tuna and sardines and will get to sleep.

Good night.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 13th

It's been a long hard day, moving things here from there.

And the big one, the great one.

The cooker

Oh, yeah, just spend some weeks without a warm meal. Then come back and tell me. Got tons of coal too. And, last, but not least, the swiming pool.

None of that is working.

Oh..oh...the lamps...how can I be so stupid?...the lamps!

Sorry, good night.

~~~~oooOOOooo~~~~

January the 14th

I am half finished with everything. Today I did my first macaronni. Over cooked, I'm afraid, but at least I haven't set the library up in flames.

Other than that, I have moved my mattress up to the observatory. In a couple of days I will set up my room there. For this night a mattress will be ok.

There's something that worries me and is food. Sure I have tons of can for a year or so, but then what? Ever heard of scurvy? Oh but I can have jam. Blessed be the preservatives. But that will eventually run out too. Hence, this boy of yours is going to farm.

This city boy. Wish me luck.

Where? In the Memorial Park of course; just a hop away from the library, and more than enough land... er... I hope.

Oh, I'm not such a small kid. I know I can fail. Maybe I will. But, surrender is not a spanish word, .

I will start reading about it, this very day. I know books and real life are not the same thing, yet I see no other alternative at all.

A promise. Tomorrow, a bit of poetry

Thanks for being there.

PS: Got my lamps, finally!!!

~~~~oooOOooo~~~~

January the 15th

And now, as I promised, the poem.

Red roses cover the bones

The graves no one cares for

But, does God love me?

Maybe I should not explain this poem, but I have found the cemeteries still beautiful, even though nobody cares for them. So I assume God is in charge... but what about me? Maybe everyone is in heaven but me. I don't know, I don't understand a thing.

~~~~oooOOooo~~~~

January the 16th

I have one of those days when I more or less drag myself to do things, and that includes writing. But I feel my duty is to write you something.

SOMETHING.

Ok, that was pretty bad, forgive me, I'm tired.

I started working in my field at the park, and I can tell you it is not easy. I'm afraid I haven't done much. The whole park is a weed field. Maybe I should burn it and start from zero.

Um... No, bad idea. Fire does love to extend and I am alone. So I suppose it will have to be hard work.

Besides I need seeds and still being January I'm in no particular hurry. Ok, just a little work every day... that should do the trick if spring comes for me.

I'm moody again. Sorry.

I feel I'm being a bit disorganized too. So task for tomorrow: planning. I will write it down here, so you can see.

I'm tired, too tired. Bye. Rest well.

~~~~oooOOooo~~~~