I hear them laugh

My cookie cutter perfect friends

Whose faith has no end

The believe in their god

With unwavering faith

As I stand, and smile, and pretend

That they’re happiness,

And perfect ness,

And faith,

And togetherness

Doesn’t bother me

But it does

And when they say

“Bible study, Friday at 4”

Inside, a little piece of me dies

Because I want to be

Happy

And perfect

And faithful

And together, with them

But I’m not

Because I don’t believe

And I don’t think I want to

Because I like being atheistic me

Unique me

Different me

Who has her own beliefs?

That suits her perfectly

But I want to belong,

With them

In there happy, perfect, faithful group

That hangs out, and listens to Christian music

And have bible study sleepovers

And act so perfect,

And inside, part of me screams ‘shut up’

And part of me screams ‘let me belong,

Let me be happy

And perfect

And full of faith and love

And who is part of the group

That I once belonged to’

But I can’t, because I don’t want to lie.

I hear them laugh

My cookie cutter perfect friends

And inside, I want to die.