All I wanted was to rule the world.

I mean, how hard could it be to swear total and unending allegiance to me as the new Dictator of All the Realms in the Land? Just say the oath and bend the knee. No fuss, no muss. I wasn’t even planning to publicly execute all the other kings in the realm either. Just chain them together and put them in the mithril mines. I didn’t want to kill any more people. I had spilled enough blood the other day to fill the Great Outer Ocean three times over. They pushed me to it. They made me summon the Great Dragons of Blood and Fire and lay waste to most of Kartia. How else was I gonna cow those rebels into subservience?

But then the "heroes" came, presumably to "save the world and rid the realm of my evil presence". I feel that that is not an accurate statement. My presence isn’t what I would call "evil". I think that "arrogant and megalomaniacal" would better fit my description. Maybe even "sinister". But definitely not "evil". Besides, wow can you judge what is evil and what is good? You don’t have the right to say I’m evil just because I’ve killed some people!!! What about all the minions of mine that you’ve killed?!!! They may have been ugly and misshapen, but they had dreams and hopes just like my "innocent" victims. And so what if those dreams involved world domination and burning all the cities of the planet? I can’t control what my followers fantasize about!!!

You label me as "evil" and "tyrant", but I’ve only been dictator for two days. I can’t become an evil tyrant in two days! Most of the world still didn’t even know who I was! I didn’t even get to issue any decrees, and I had such nice ones planned for everyone! I was going to hold every citizen to 30 years of service in the acid mines. I was going to force every couple to give up their firstborn child to march in my armies. I never even had the chance to go completely mad from all my power! What’s the point of being ruler of all you can survey if you can’t laugh like a drunken hyena and decapitate people for no apparent reason? There should be an unwritten law protecting all non-crazy dictators from possible threats. I never got to enjoy my rule. Most of my two-day reign was spent putting down potential heroes in different kingdoms.

You damn heroes, think you’re so hot with your "courage" and "wisdom" and "dashing good looks". I have courage! Not anyone could have faced the Guardian of the Tower by himself and lived to tell the tale! I have wisdom! It takes a great mind to concoct the diabolical schemes I came up with. I used to have dashing good looks before half my face was eaten off by direwolves! I mean, you’d think that a leg of lamb would satisfy them, but no, once they gets a taste of blood, they go for your eyes! You heroes think you can beat me just because you’re on the side of "righteousness" and "justice"? What makes you think I’ll just give up, throw away all my hard work, and subject my actions to your moral scrutiny? What makes you think you can possibly defeat me, the great Durian Bloodgale, Dark Sorcerer Supreme? Your powers were simple carnival tricks compared to mine!

You think it’s easy being a supervillian? You have no idea about all the stress and pain that comes with being the most hated man on the planet. You think it’s all just burning and long speeches about impending doom, don’t you? While I have to admit that burning and long speeches about impending doom are some of the reasons I became a villain, the fact is, we evil-doers spend most of our time running under the cover of night from angry, pitchfork-wielding mobs. I just wanted to sacrifice some souls to the demons of the underworld! Lots of dark sorcerers do that nowadays, but you don’t see their heads impaled on pikes! Gaining control of the most powerful artifact known to the planet isn’t exactly a walk in the park either. You think you had a tough time fighting all the monsters in the Tower of the Ancients? Ha! You don’t know true fear unless you’re staring down a Shadow Wyvern’s gullet, with Salamander Kings and Fenrir Knights just itching to relieve your head from the rest of your body! Didn’t I tell you once that not all monsters are my minions! I had to literally climb over all the corpses I left lying in neat little piles on the ground. And don’t even get me started on the last Guardian of the Tower! The SOB deserved what I gave him. Did I mention before that it was I who defeated him? But I felt like I deserved a reward for all my work! Was it my fault that the closest reward in sight was the legendary and awesome Dragon Sphere? Even a blind fool could see the opportunity for vast riches and power within those crystalline depths. Only a retarded fool would let his conscience get the best of him and throw it all away. With the power of the Dragon Sphere came the power of the Great Dragons of Blood and Fire, all of them bound to serve the possessor of the Sphere. I came this far to get what I wanted. I couldn’t pass this up. I wasn’t gonna let the Sphere slip through my fingers, and I’d be damned if I was gonna let you heroes destroy all my dreams! There was only one thing I could do! Fight, and give you hell.

The final battle…heh, my untimely demise. Or maybe it was timely. I’m not sure of anything anymore. I still don’t know how you beat me. Maybe it was the fact that I was drunk off my ass and overconfident in my abilities. Maybe it was the fact that you guys were actually stronger this time around. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that ALL THE FUCKING DRAGONS MANAGED TO ESCAPE THEIR BONDS AND TURNED AGAINST ME! Needless to say, it was not my finest moment. I’ve seen my own insides before, but to see them charred and blackened by dragonfire, well, that was a first. Without the dragons, the Dragon Sphere was just another piece of cheap-looking glass. I would like to say that I battled bravely, even with all the odds against me, standing strong until the end. But I’m an honest man, so I’ll just tell you this: Heroes aren’t easily bribed. But regardless, I ended up here. In the Abyss. Sealed in for all eternity. Sealed in for all eternity to brood, to plot, to dream of what might have been. Sealed in for all eternity to devise yet another scheme, to swear revenge on my tormentors. Forever floating in darkness, swallowed by the silence, my mind slowly breaking, piece by piece. How the mighty have fallen…I was a god, just breathing in my newfound power, reveling in my control over the very instruments of death themselves, licking my lips in anticipation of the dawn of my glorious reign as Dictator of All the Realms in the Land.

I was a god.

I am nothing now. Lower than the smallest bug, powerless to stop my descent into madness, at the mercy of the cold reaches of the Abyss. But I just now realized how funny the whole situation was. And I laughed. At the world, at death, at myself, I don’t know. But I laughed anyway.

All I wanted was to rule the world.