Lost Without You

Summary

What happens if you live a life of invisibility? Only noticed when you’re needed. What happens when the last guy you thought would notice you did? Jewel is a 17 year old mourning the loss of her mother. Treated not like a human but an object. Her life suddenly turns for the worse, when her house is burnt to ashes and the only mother figure she has dies in the accident. How will she survive her senior year with out any one?

Author's note: Everything was created by me, except the songs that appear in the story. I would like to thank anyone who had the time to read this. Review your thoughts and I don't mind flames. I would like to hear your opinion to this story so I could figure out whether to keep it or trash it.

Thanks - OB

Blazing Flames

Momma when you left, felt like my soul had gone

I still remember the day, had no words to say my heart was gone

(Still at night I cry)

You were the reason I lived, you gave me life that was pure

Always kept me so sure of everything - I miss you so

I looked down on you and no one ever knew I almost took my life

So I could be with you - I miss you so, one could never know

And I am lost and I'm feelin' so alone - Two reasons I cry By Ginuwine

The wind playfully caressed her rosy cheeks, causing her to look up from the pale yellow grains of sand in front of her. She glanced at her mother; the woman had her long ebony hair made into a braid, only held together by a thin, long, red ribbon. A straw hat sat on top of her head.

Jewel smiled. It had been long time since she and her mother went out and she really missed these field trips they would occasionally take. She suddenly felt alone and scared inside. All she wanted to do was run to her mother and feel safe in her arms.

Getting up from her sitting position she slowly jogged toward the woman. A radiant smile appeared on her mothers face as she drew nearer. Jewel stretched out her arms and was about to circle them around her mother's waist, when the figure before her shattered into pieces of ash.

“Mother” she screamed in a frightened voice. The ash began drifting toward the dark, murky waters of the sea. She ran lifting her arms trying to grab at any pieces that were within her reach.

The icy water didn't bother her, nor how heavy her blue Sunday dress had become, all she wanted to do was get her mother back. She was oblivious to the way the light blue of the relaxing sky had changed into the dark raging sea. She looked up, but it was too late, the sea had swallowed her and she was dragged toward its depths. The water entered her nose, but she never bothered struggling or at least trying to find some way to get back to the surface. She knew what was going to happen. She was going to die.

A familiar voice began calling her name. "Jewel, Jewel." Firm hands suddenly lifted her toward the surface. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and...

"Jewel." Came a worried voice beside her. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and suddenly the harsh reality punched her in the gut. It was just a dream. She wasn't five, she was the age of 17 and those damn dreams still haunted her.

The knowledge of her not being dead brought her in a state of despair. How she wanted to be just that, in a grave somewhere, where she could be rid of walking the endless roads of the earth.

"Miss Jewel, the house is on fire, you must hurry." Came Julie's anxious voice.

Jewel started at her distraught maid. Her grey eyes held a mixture of fear, and anger and her face had become paler than usual. Her long blond hair was tied into a ponytail, but bits of hair that had escaped the band, had clung to her head, caused by the sweat that began to fall.

"Jewel hurry, come on take the things you need, you only have that much time and then we have to leave, come on." The voice took here out of her reverie and back to her large bedroom.

Julie looked at her employees face. Her green eyes showed a mixture of pain and relief and her milky white cheeks had turned a slight shade of pink from the heat. Her short uneven, ebony hair was in a messy ponytail.

"I'm not going, leave me alone." Jewel's voice held no emotion.

"Well, I'll get your things then and when I come back you should be ready to leave and have your senses with you."

Julie seemed to have composed within those few seconds. She went out and came back carrying a large bag. She began moving about, taking things and placing them in the bag. She took boxes of Jewel's letters, personal ones that were sent to Jewel or she wrote herself.

Anger began rising inside of Jewel. "How dare you rummage through my things and take whatever you think is good enough to keep."

Jewel got up from the large bed, snatched the bag away and resumed what Julie had been doing.

"I'll be back then" Julie said satisfied. Leaving her and moving about to see if any of the other servants needed help.

Jewel had finished collecting her precious things and set out to look for Julie. Servants were everywhere frantically moving about either finding help or moving toward an exit. She bumped into Julie in the hall way.

They moved together through the spiral steps and down into the cellar. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. The smoke drifted into her lungs, suffocating her. The baggage also began to grow heavy with each step, but just thinking of putting them down had encouraged her to keep going. She didn't want the letters and her other precious things to become fuel to the blaze that had consumed her home.

They went into a small opening and found themselves in the large backyard that was covered in blooming flowers of every kind. Bits of wood fell and ignited the beautiful flowers. It was like Eden, burning in hell for the innocence disappeared when Adam and Eve had eaten the apples.

They hurried to the front, which was now covered with different types of people. Maids, butlers, cooks, firemen and doctors littered the area, helping those who needed the help.

Water leaked out of the red hoses, and the battle between water and flame had just begun. Jewel watched as the flame seemed to form a face and began licking the top of the house. It seemed like it was shrieking with pain, every time the water made contact with it, or was it laughing at her? Laughing because it knew of how much she wanted to join it. How much she longed to burn, and feel the heat against her body. It tempted her to get back into the burning house and throw herself to that face, so it could just lick away her wounds. But somehow deep inside she didn't. She just watched as the face coaxed her, swallowing the entire house. It seemed the flames were going to win. No, the face was going to win. But by some miracle, the weather was on their side and it began to rain. Water had won.

Weak arms came crashing down on her, and she was brought back from her reverie. Her father's embrace was warm, warmer then anything he had ever done to her. He never hugged her, kissed her, or showed any least bit of affection for her that she could remember. For some reason their near death experience, if you could call it that, changed his heart. But to Jewel nothing had changed. If anything, the anger she held toward her father grew in ten times fold. Jewel looked at him. His creamy white face was weary, but concern was written across it. Dark rings had formed around his grey- blue eyes. His usually combed light brown hair was slightly tousled, but starting to get plastered to his head.

"Jewel, honey are you all right?" What the hell, you bloody never cared about me until now. I was just like a piece of furniture to you, invisible until needed. Why would you start caring now?

"Father I am well, I'm just weary and need sleep." I was so surprised, that I didn't lash out on him, or the door to hell didn't reopen and this time swallows me whole for punishment, to committing murder on my so called father.

"Is that all deary?" He asked in a gentle voice.

"Yes, father." I replied trying my very best to hold my emotion.

"Well then I'll get a cab and have you sent to one of the hotels for the night, and I'll figure out the rest of the accommodation that Leiel, her mother and you will be staying in. Where are the two, anyway?"

Just as he spoke, a sobbing Leiel came out of no where and flung her arms around her father's neck.

What a bitch. Can't she even act like the maid's daughter? But, I guess I can't blame her. Father treats her more of a daughter then he ever did to me.

"Sorry sir, it's just that mother had died in the inferno." Leiel tried to hold the tears but they continued to pour out. She choked down her sobs.

Bloody hell, Miss Drama queen could win an Emmy for that beautiful display. Leiel glanced at me while father gave her a hug. The bitch stuck her tongue out at me and resumed in sobbing.

I went and sat on the grass, wrapped my arms around my knees and cried. Mrs. Christianson, dead. This can't be happening. She was like a mother to me. Always there for me. Leiel never deserved her as a mother. Why do these things always happen to me, why? I never done anything, I was always good, wasn't I? I wish that I had died today; at least I wouldn't be grieving right now, mourning over another lost mother. Damnit, I have to stop doing this, why do I always have to pity myself, oh God how I hate myself right now, a close person is dead and all I can think about is myself. How selfish can I get? The rain got heavier and I let it wash away the pain. I was drenched but I didn't care.

A yellow cab took Leiel and her to a nice looking hotel in the city. It was about 1: 00p.m. when they arrived. I wonder where Julie would be staying tonight. The girl was practically a sister to me.

Guilt began to wash over me, as memories of the day flooded my thoughts. Oh God, I acted like a jerk today. Why did I have to treat her like that? It was because you were scared, scared that you would be losing your home. The voice in my head reassured me. No, and I knew it, I can't make excuses for my behaviour. I'll just talk to her tomorrow she thought.

I walked toward the lobby. It seemed Miss Drama queen was flirting with the bellboy and left me to get the keys. I sighed. At least I wouldn't have to see her annoying, slightly tanned face, auburn hair or hazel eyes of perfection for a while.

She plastered a radiant smile, and walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me; my father has booked a suite for my maid and me."

"Can I please have your name Miss?"

"LeGrey."

The lady looked at the computer in front of her and began typing.

"Yes, here Miss Jewel LeGrey you and your maid will be stay in room 154." The lady handed me two keys.

I muttered my thanks and walked toward the elevator. I didn't want to bother Leiel or keep her from the bellboy, so I decided I had better not interrupt her. I smiled mischievously and boarded the elevator. I knew it was going to be a long day. But who cares, at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing that Leiel would have to at least ask the lady for the room. And, she would be really furious to know that I have both keys. I chuckled to myself at the thought of her waiting outside our door.

When I reached our room I dropped my luggage on the floor and flopped onto the bed and went into a deep slumber.