Author: Bitter Berry PM
*FIN*(slash, cross-dressing)Jesse works at a small magazine company for his uncle. He's one of the best there. Thing is, everyone thinks Jesse is a woman, even the man he falls for.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,829 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 04-20-03 - Published: 03-17-03 - id: 1259354
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Cevi's eyes were wide with shock, as if he had been caught watching porn by his mother. Jesse stood in front of him with a smile, though the smile was slowly disappearing. Cevi finally let out a nervous chuckle, "I don't get it."
Jesse's arms swung listlessly at his sides. He suddenly felt uncomfortable. He could feel Cevi's eyes piercing into him. He was stuck. What was he going to say? He and Elizabeth had planned this out but now everything was completely out of his mind. "Shit."
The older man finally blinked, realizing he had been staring like an idiot. Was this Jesse? "Jesse?"
"Y-yeah." Jesse replied meekly, his face now flushed.
The loud music played continuously. The club was now filled with teenagers with fake IDs and older men. "I'm confused."
"So am I."
"You look different."
Cevi shook his head and covered his mouth with his hand. He shut his eyes tightly and repeated, "You look different."
Jesse smiled shyly and grasped his hands together. "Yeah."
Cevi looked at Jesse once again. "I don't get it."
"And you're Jesse. My Jesse?"
Jesse's cheeks warmed. His Jesse. "I hope so."
Cevi shook his head once again and sighed loudly. "You cut your hair."
Jesse nodded, not wanting to get cut off again.
"I don't get it."
This was getting completely annoying, both for Jesse and Cevi. They were not getting anywhere with this conversation. Jesse mentally slapped himself for panicking. This had been planned out. He was supposed to show up and just tell Cevi the truth. But it was not working out that way. Cevi looked utterly baffled. "Cevi."
"I guess I'll have to just say it, seeing how you're not the brightest crayon in the box." Jesse received a small glare, but continued, "I'm not who you think I am."
"Okay. You know what guys have that girls don't have?" Oh God, Jesse, you idiot. Jesse felt the urge to kick himself.
Jesse smiled weakly, shrugging his shoulders.
"You're a transvestite?"
Jesse almost fell over as soon as Cevi spoke. This was becoming more complicated by the minute. "No! Well, maybe! But no! That's way different! I'm a man if that's what you're getting at."
"Okay, to make it simple, though I'm not sure how saying I'm a man isn't simple enough, I'm a-"
Jesse almost shouted, "Good boy!" But he just smiled instead.
"Oh." Cevi looked thoughtful, his mouth still shaped as an 'O.'
Jesse stood still, or as still as he could because random people were ramming into him. The club was extremely crowded and noisy. This was the worst place to confess your gender to someone, though Jesse was sure such a thing did not happen quite often. Cevi was still staring at Jesse with his mouth hanging open. It was getting very uncomfortable. "So."
"This whole time you were a guy?" Cevi broke out of his thoughts.
"Yeah." Jesse shrugged, trying his best to act calm.
"A guy? And you kissed me? And you were a guy?"
This was not going so great. Jesse shrugged; knowing that if he spoke, his voice would crack. He could just feel himself slipping, falling out of reach. His vision began to blur as he noticed Cevi's face contort in a mixture of confusion and disgust. What did he expect? Did he think Cevi would jump into his arms? Of course not. Those things do not happen.
"I have to go." Cevi walked past Jesse and into the crowd. Jesse did not turn to watch the retreating figure. It would just make things worse for him. His vision was completely blurred with tears. He bit his lip and folded his arms over his chest.
He shook his head and whispered to himself, "You're an idiot, Jeski. Always was one."
Jesse was sprawled on the couch on his stomach with his head tucked under his arms. He had left the club immediately after. He had made it home at nine-thirty, way earlier than he had hoped. As soon as he walked into the apartment, he threw himself onto the couch and cried himself to sleep.
The young man woke up to the sound of banging at his door. The voice was from a very weary sounding Elizabeth. Jesse thought about leaving the woman out there, but her continuous banging and screeching was very bothersome. He slowly stood up, staggered to the door and took his time opening it.
"Damn it, Jesse! You know how much I hate this place. Oh God." Elizabeth stopped, her hand reluctantly going up to her mouth. "Jesse…"
Jesse's face was puffy, his eyes red and glossy. His short hair was now messy, sticking up in different directions. He shook his head and looked away. He saw the clock, noticing it was midnight.
"Jesse, I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have forced you." Elizabeth pulled Jesse into a warm embrace.
"It wasn't your fault, Liz. It was my choice. I should have known. I don't know why I thought otherwise." Jesse nuzzled his face into Elizabeth's jacket.
Elizabeth closed the door with her foot and directed Jesse back to the couch. They sat down and held each other. Elizabeth wanted to ask about what exactly happened, but she knew it would only make Jesse more depressed. The young man looked horrible. His face was pale, with blotches of red on his cheeks and forehead. It was obvious he was pained. She needed to know.
"Liz, what am I going to do? I'll have to see him on Monday." Jesse's voice was muffled.
"Tell me what happened first." Elizabeth coaxed the man by rubbing his back. He seemed to relax under the touch.
"I just showed up at the club. I cut my hair and everything so that I could make it more obvious to him. He just stared at me. I had to tell him that I was really a guy. He just, kind of, left. He just walked out." Jesse shuddered.
"Oh, Jesse. I'm so sorry. I really am."
"So am I, Liz." Jesse pulled away and wiped away the escaping tears. He smoothed his short hair down, sniffling every now and then, and straightened his shirt. "I knew it wouldn't work."
"Oh, Jesse." Elizabeth could not think of anything to say. What could she say? She was sure he would not want to hear it anyway.
Jesse stood up stiffly. Again, he wiped his face with his hands. He looked down at Elizabeth with a stern face. "I'm going back home."
"What?" Elizabeth stood up immediately. "What do you mean?"
"I'm going home. I'm going to live with my parents again."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Jesse!" Elizabeth yelled, grabbing Jesse by the shoulders. "You're going to run away because of one guy? I thought I knew you better, Jesse."
"How can you know me, Liz? I don't even know myself!" Jesse countered. Both of their faces were red.
"I know enough, Jesse! You're stronger than this! I know you are. Cevi isn't worth it. Remember when you said if someone can't love you for who-"
"That was a bunch of bull, Liz, and you know it." Jesse pulled away and pushed past the older woman. "I belong with my parents. They were right this whole time. They actually understood me. I just didn't see it before."
"That's pathetic, Jesse. How old are you again? Running to your mommy? That's sad." Elizabeth glared harshly at her friend.
"Leave me alone, Liz." Jesse had his back turned to her.
"Fine." Elizabeth walked to the door and opened it. "Fine." She rushed out, slamming the door.
Jesse went back to the couch, seating himself down, and stared listlessly at the blank television. He felt a pang of shame, hating himself for treating Elizabeth in such a way. She was his best friend. They told each other everything. He trusted her more than anyone else. He perked up as he heard a knock at the door. He jumped up and ran to the door, almost slamming himself into the frame. "I'm so sorry!" He yelled as soon as he opened it. "Oh, my." Cevi stood sheepishly on the other side with a shy smile on his face.
~6 Months Later~
"Elizabeth! You're slacking off!" Jennings yelled out of his office, his voice shaking the other workers. "What kind of crap is this?"
It was a bright Monday, though there was a look of dread on everyone's face. The sun was shinning vibrantly through the glass windows, lighting up the fifth floor of Keen. Elizabeth chewed at the end of her pen, glaring up at her boss. She shrugged and went back to her work. The older man had been so grumpy lately. Elizabeth looked to the other side where Jesse's desk stood completely untouched. The older woman sighed and dropped the pen with out notice. A small pink envelope was in front of her on her keyboard, yet to be opened. She looked down, eyeing it cautiously. Reluctantly she picked it up and opened it. She pulled out the floral designed paper and unfolded it, feeling her chest tighten.
I bet you miss me soooo much. Guess what? I miss you too. Mwhahaha. How's Uncle Jennings doing? I bet he's just as sweet and happy as always. It must be real quiet over at Keen. Two of the best are gone. Jennings must be real glad you stayed. I wouldn't have minded if you came along. Though, I'm not sure you'd have wanted to. (hehehe)
Cevi says hi. He misses you too. He's making fun of me because I'm cackling like a psycho right now. Damn him! Anyway, I can't wait to hear from you again. It's real hard to send letters when you're on the other side of the world. Australia is such a beautiful place. I thought it was just going to be a bunch of animals wondering around. I'm rambling.
We'll be back soon. Believe me. As much as I like Australia, I'd rather be living it up with you guys. And Cevi, of course. I'm going to bring you a bunch of souvenirs of animals. Especially monkeys. Can't forget the monkeys.
I'll see you soon, Lizzy.
Elizabeth sighed once again. She really missed Jesse. Keen was nothing with out him. Jennings was obviously frustrated as well. Six months ago, Jesse had arrived at Keen dressed as Jeski because Jeski was who he was. That Monday, he arrived with a big grin on his face. Elizabeth had not expected to see him.
"Elizabeth!" Jesse ran over to her with such a beautiful smile. He quickly pulled her into a bear hug. "I'm so sorry about what I said! I'm so sorry, Liz."
Elizabeth just smiled, hugging him tightly. She could feel everyone's eyes on them. She pulled away, still smiling, "You're not leaving, right?"
Jesse shook his head. He was bouncing up and down with a wide grin. He looked so elated. The sight made Elizabeth want to cry out of joy for him. She had never seen someone so happy.
Elizabeth looked up and past Jesse, seeing a tall dark figure appear from the elevator. Cevi was smiling as well, though his smile was very innocent and shy. He was dressed as he normally dressed; jeans and a t-shirt. The pieces came together and Elizabeth shrieked. "Jesse!"
Elizabeth had cried all night, both out of happiness for her friend, and for her loss of a friend. Jesse had explained to her how Cevi had come to the apartment apologizing. Cevi and Jesse sat down and talked the whole night. Cevi explained his confusion and discomfort when Jesse had first come to him at the club. Cevi knew he felt something for Jesse. It was destined to happen. Jesse had squealed, "It's almost like a freakin' fairytale!"
The older woman looked out the large window of Keen, her face emotionless. She could still remember the day Cevi had proposed. It was only 3 months later. He knelt down on his knees and held Jesse's smooth hands in front of all the workers at Keen. Everyone watched in awe as the younger man's eyes became watery and his body shook. A minute later of silence, Jesse finally blurted his answer to Cevi. The workers cheered and whistled loudly as the young couple hugged each other. None of them cared that Jesse was really a man. Jesse was part of the family. Elizabeth and Jennings stood behind them, both with bright smiles on their faces.
Jesse and Cevi left for Australia for their honeymoon, their newlywed faces glowing. Keen had been quiet ever since they left. All the workers looked sluggish, seeming to hate their job at Keen. Everyone seemed as if their energy had been zapped out of them.
Elizabeth yawned, looking agitated as she looked back at the computer monitor. Beside her coffee mug was a framed picture of Jesse, Cevi, and herself at the wedding. Jesse had refused to wear a dress, stating, "I'm a guy! I'm not supposed to wear dresses." Both men were dressed in black tuxedos, and Elizabeth wore a pink dress that Jesse had picked out for her. It had been a beautiful day.
Elizabeth stood up from her desk and walked into Jennings office. The older man was on the phone with a frown on his face. He said his goodbyes and placed the receiver down. Jennings looked up at Elizabeth, frown still in place.
"What's wrong?" Elizabeth sat down on his desk.
"Did you read that letter?" Jennings asked, looking Elizabeth in the eye.
"Yeah, just now."
"What'd he say?"
"They'll be here soon. Everything will be back to normal." Jennings tried to smile.
Jesse's hair had grown a few more inches past his ears, his bangs now becoming as bothersome as before. He sat on the waterbed in his boxers watching TV. The hotel was extremely lavish, and Cevi made sure the young man liked it. Jesse flipped through the channels, sighing loudly. "There's nothing on!"
Cevi walked out of the restroom with a robe tied around his body. His hair was combed back, and his face was smoothly shaven. "TV rots the brain."
"Tell me about it, actually don't." Jesse turned the set off and looked at Cevi with interest. "What other kind of entertainment does this place have?"
Cevi gave Jesse a smirk and shrugged. "You'll have to find out on your own."
A/N: That's it. It is complete. I know, it sucked. But if you've read any of my other stories, you should have expected it. I'm not a creative person. I tried for this chapter. Look how freakin' long it is! (lol) It's long to me. Thanks for all the support. ^^
All Pedestrians Hate You- They love you too. ^_^ Thanks!
Pyrrha- I love long hair too. I didn't want to do it, but I had to! But it's okay now.
WindStarsAndWave- You are a funny one. That's why I luff you.
rallenta- I almost freaked b/c I thought I never mentioned his hair color. But I did. The first chapter. That's probably why you don't remember. It was so long ago. :P
redrose2310- Thank you! He sorta flipped, eh?
Weesil- Yes, that was quite evil of me. -cackles- Sorry.
C- ^^ My best cliffy, it was!
Rue Zokorai- I wanted this to be happy. I need to get used to the idea that people are actually allowed to be. :P
Alle- Ah! The hair! I'm sorry. It'll grow back. (haha) I'm sorry this wasn't longer. ^^;;
EvilLittleChibi- I'd bag Jesse too. (haha) If only he were real.
NeuGirl-88- Well, I hope you can sleep now. Sleep is good.
Ocfman- Dude, you rock man. I already told you that, but you do!! You READ it. You're awesome. :D
NiteDreamer- Thank you! Woo!
shadow kei- It's not like I need my eyes. . (haha)
Thanks for all the positive feedback! Thank you so much!