Who wouldn't love a male prostitute named Michael Beatsme? I know it is an odd name, and I may not look good, but come on, why can't anyone ever appreciate me? I have a nice package, not to be gay about looking at my cock and saying it is good, but come on, who wouldn't want to be in bed with me? I've done everything to get business. At first I walked to girls at bars, but no one likes me. I hold out signs that say half price. I give out coupons, have two, and get another one free, but no one wants me. Is it cause of my hair? I mean, why don't they like gray hair color? I think it's kinda cute. Girls can look and I can remind them of their father or grandfather, who wouldn't like that? What girl doesn't like their father or grandfather? Who wouldn't wanna hump their father or grandfather? I would wanna screw Ralph Beatsme and his father Harry Beatsme, hypothetically of course. Is it cause of my fingernails? Just because their dirty doesn't mean I'm a disgusting guy. It doesn't mean I screw bad, I screw like a bad boy, just ask my hand. You should find out for yourself anyway, unless you're a guy and reading this of course (really, what straight guy would read my story). Is it cause of the bruises I have? Not only am I a male prostitute, but I am also a professional naked wrestler, not like I'm gay of course, it just pays the bills. That should make me even better in bed, I'm hardcore like my wrestling moves! Is it cause I can't see well? It's really not a big deal. Just because I'm missing an eye doesn't mean I can't bang like a bomb. I mean, every girl likes diamonds, my eye has a little bit of diamond in it. Isn't that cool? Is it cause I have bad teeth? I don't brush those, I'm too busy masturbating. If you don't like my horrible teeth, I can take 'em off. They're fake. Isn't that cool? Are you turned on now? Is it because I have an extra toe? I think it's cool, girls should think it's cute. I am personally fond of it. I think it's damn sexy, and it's also another body part to eat off of. Is it because I have no chin? I like how I look. I don't understand who wouldn't screw a guy with no chin. I have something in my pants to cover it though. Is it the fact that I have man boobs? I'm sorry, but now it's like you and me have something physical in common. I can lick yours, you can lick mine, and it all works out hun. If this is a guy who is reading this and is getting turned on, please leave and never read this story like that ever EVER again! Is it because my whole body is covered in tattoos of the greatest pop star ever, Michael Jackson? Who doesn't love Michael Jackson? I've been sleeping at his Neverland for the past three years, of course when it was originally called Michaeljacksonwhorehouseandifyoudontlikeitthanjustbeatit. Well now do you have a different opinion on having me to please you for a day. You know what, I don't care as long as I get laid. Whether you're white, black, asian, hispanic, american indian, female, male, 1 year old, 112 years old, any species it's all good. If you want me, just call me hun at 664-4678.