Hey there,

Another long wait, I know, and I invite you to clobber me with some blunt inanimate objects. Or animate objects, your call. Sorry, but university and life in general keeps me nice and busy. It’s so bizarre to think this story has been around so long. It’s just one of those things I have to see through to the end. To make up for the wait there is a nice long chapter. Twenty eight pages, I think. I was going to break it up, but it all fit together so nicely, all thematic-like, that I couldn’t bear to do it. The chapter has three main parts and a pickle. It kind of works like a sandwich, but you’ll get why that’s amusing by the end. I was trying to approach Maiku and Kaonal’s conflict some more because I think it’s fun to see boys get all snippy and confrontational over women. Is that wrong?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

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Project Goddess

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Chapter Nineteen:

The Hells Are Alive

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“I’m glad you decided to meet me here,” he said quietly, “there are some things we need to discuss.”

I didn’t look down. I just kept staring at the fake hologram stars in the fake hologram sky. Around me was a garden, with plants I didn’t recognize and flowers I had never seen before. Probably fake too. In a dimension obsessed with of simulations, imitations and fabrications, it was nearly impossible to tell the real from the counterfeit. Even after thousands of years, I still couldn’t tell completely. Some people like Varian took the safe route and just assumed everything was a lie. But that led to a lonely and cynical life. Others like Tatsuke gave the universe the benefit of the doubt, but blind optimism came at the price of being foolish and naive.

So, did I want to be a cynic or a fool?

I could feel Kaonal’s gaze on me.

“What are you in the mood to discuss exactly?” I replied flippantly, “the weather perhaps, which I might add is quite well done. If I didn’t know better, I’d say this were a balmy Earth evening.”

A cynic then.

Kaonal snorted. “You know I don’t give a damn about the weather. I’m here to talk about Mirei, and what’s to be done with this situation.”

I stiffened. When he’d asked to meet me, I simply thought the guy wanted to duke it out after I’d held him in a death grip against a wall. In my experience, people didn’t like being held by their collars against flat objects while being issued death threats. I could get that. Civilized conversation had never come to mind, and certainly not civilized conversation about Mirei. So I did the logical thing and started to walk away.

“Think about this rationally,” he insisted, blocking my way, “what, do you expect her to just stay here with you? Sooner or later your past actions are going to catch up with you, and I don’t want Mirei caught up in that.” He sighed disdainfully. “She’s far too emotionally invested in you already.”

I didn’t reply.

Kaonal’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, is that the plan then, Maiku? Keep the girl close so that her soul’s on standby for you to resume your old ways when the mood strikes you?”

“No,” I snapped coldly.

“Then what?”

I opened my mouth to say something and then closed it again. What was I supposed to say? That I thought everything would just magically work itself out? That I thought Akumi might get tired of chasing me? That I thought maybe Mirei could get over the fact that I used to kill her kind?

Maybe I was a bloody fool after all. Tatsuke would be so proud.

“As you know,” Kaonal continued when it was obvious I wasn’t going to, “Kareth and I have a contact who is all too willing to help us get Mirei where she rightfully belongs.” Contact. That mystery guy that Mirei met with. I scowled deeply and tried to appear menacing.

He paused. “But, until that happens, we both think it would be in Mirei’s best interests if you… weren’t a part of this.”

Weren’t a part..?

My eyebrows rose.

“Wulphe, do me a favour. … Fuck off.”

He rolled his eyes not so subtly. “Very civilized, as usual.”

I crossed my arms and stared the man down. I had a bit of height on him, but he didn’t seem intimidated. I tried a diversion tactic.

“I think this is some kind of sick ploy to get my sister alone with you. Don’t you get it, Kaonal? She rejected you. She’s moved on. Don’t embarrass yourself anymore than you already have. Varian’s beyond you.”

That got a reaction. His teal eyes flashed with an frustration even his laid-back persona couldn’t suppress. I could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek. He exhaled slowly.

“This isn’t about your sister, Maiku.”

I sneered. “Of course not. It’s about you not getting any.”

Kaonal’s nostrils flared and he took a step forward. I welcomed the confrontation. I always did better with physical negotiations anyway. But instead of taking a swing at me, he simply lifted his chin to look me square in the eye.

“Mirei is a good person. A little misguided, maybe, and with an appalling taste in men, but still good. If you really have any honorable intentions towards her, you will let her go, let her reach her potential instead of being left to follow in the shadow of your overwhelming mistakes. You know perfectly well that you can’t give her what she needs. You can’t even help yourself. If anything, Mirei is beyond –you-. Do what’s best for her, and stop being so goddamn selfish for once.”

I prepared a wicked string of insults and comebacks, and then promptly forgot them.

My eyes narrowed. “I… do not like you.”

He shrugged. “Somehow I’ll get over it.” And I simply stood there, scowling and immobile, as Kaonal walked away.

I wish he would have just punched me instead. … Prick.

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I'd spent the last twenty-four hours growing accustomed to Kaonal and Kareth's headquarters. They even referred to it as 'headquarters' instead of 'home,' which should have clued me in the dedication of their two-man operation. The Association For The Safeguard of Homo Sapiens Sapiens, or ASHSS. The twins had a thing for acronyms. And heroics. Kaonal had shown me The Wall, which was smothered in photographs of humans that ASHSS had rescued. It reminded me of the bulletin board at my dentist’s office with the pictures of kids who were “Cavity Free!!’. All those ASHSS photos -did- look impressive, if not for the spacey and slightly ‘Night of the Living Dead’ look on each person's face.

Kaonal had looked a little embarrassed when I asked about why everyone on ‘The Wall’ looked as if they were under heavy sedatives.

"Well, uh, Mirei, it takes a long while for the humans to get their memories back, so most of the time they're just a blank slate until we can fix them up." By now I had a rough understanding of the whole soul collecting deal. Tatsuke had done his best to explain. He even drew pictures. Apparently, demons lure unsuspecting humans into unused dimensions and purge any memories that kept them connected to their former lives. Then they make up some super-duper dream reality and wait for the soul to slowly disconnect from the vessel. It was all very voodoo. I don’t think I quite grasped all the nuances, even with Tatsuke’s helpful crayon illustrations. In any case, it was a fate I was glad to have avoided, although I had to wonder at Maiku's reasons. Not that I was unappreciative, mind you, but I'd learned that with demons, 'wondering' was unavoidable.

"Not to seem ungrateful, but why didn't you erase -my- memory?" I'd asked my dark-haired captor innocently. Maiku had just snorted dismissively and Kaonal gave me a searching look. What he was searching for I didn't know.

"Because he's a screw up," the twin had finally replied in Maiku's stead. It was an answer the ex-soul collector had taken offense to, spluttering stuff about fate and no-dreamers and broken furins. I suppose it didn’t really matter, and that I should just be glad that I wasn’t another space case on the Wulphe Rescue Wall, or even worse, all soulless and corpsefied. I couldn’t help but wonder about Maiku’s intentions, though. The way Sumi had described it, his job was one of the most important in the demon world, and before his five hundred year jail sentence-- the details of which I was still a bit fuzzy-- he’d been quite famous for his soul collecting record. It was a little unnerving, knowing that Maiku, -my- Maiku, had made a living off tricking human beings out of their souls. A squeaky voice in the back of my mind kept wondering if Maiku would want that fame back after he got things sorted out with this Akumi woman.

The question was simple: How much did I trust him?

The strain of trying to come up with an answer had given me a monster migraine. I named it Maiku.

Headquarters, as it turns out, was really just a big dome house covered with rock, surrounded by a range of other dome-shaped rocks. For camouflage, apparently, because the Wulphes wanted to keep their lair top-secret, especially from the angry soul-collectors they'd screwed over. I'd been curious to see more of 'Hell,' but I'd received a resounding 'NO!' when I'd asked for the local tour. Maiku had been especially against it. He'd reached a whole new level of controlling, never before seen by the likes of demon, men, or demon men.

It was driving me up the wall. And down the wall. And -through- the wall.

Oh, I'd really ticked him off by not telling him about the 'guy' I had 'business' with. Under different circumstances, I would have, but there was that cute little curse thing Eagan had so kindly bestowed upon me that shoved my tongue down my throat every time I'd so much as tried to talk about him.

The only safe sentences I'd been able to get out was, "It's okay, I'm fine. No he didn't try to seduce me, no he didn't hurt me, no he didn't try to make anything from both of our skins. He was just trying to -help-."

At least, I'd hoped he was just trying to help. After all, the little squirt –had- deliberately placed me in the immediate presence of this supposed uber evil demon woman, Akumi Chakaraka, or whatever her name was, the same lady who sent two assassins after me (well, after Chie) and tried to capture Maiku for her own personal love slave for all eternity.

Oh yeah. He’s trying to help.

I'd wanted to get Kaonal and Kareth alone so that I could confront them about Eagan, which might be difficult considering I couldn't -talk- about him. Those two had some kind of connection to the kid and I wanted to know what it was. But Maiku put a giant wrench in those plans by not letting me have a moment alone with myself, let alone anyone else. He'd lingered close by me all day, and slept in a chair in the same room as me last night. It would've been bad enough if Maiku was his normal self, but all he did was grumble and sulk and glare.

Oh wait. That -was- his normal self.

I was beginning to feel like a cartoon character who was being closely followed and every time I turned around, Maiku would pretend to be doing something inconspicuous like leaning against a wall, inspecting his furin, or staring off at intently at anything that wasn't me.

Downright annoying, that's what it was. He made good on his offer of opening all doors for me, and upped it by not letting me touch -anything- that had an edge, was made of metal, or could be used to impale someone.

The third precaution was understandable because if I could get my hands on something of that nature, Maiku would quickly find himself with a rather inconvenient bloody gaping hole through the chest.

It was early-afternoon or what felt like early afternoon to my befuddled internal clock of the day after my arrival at Headquarters, and I was looking through the impressive Wulphe library, with Maiku only two feet away. Of course, none of the books were in any language I could understand, but that didn't stop me from looking.

"Mirei," he grumbled, "put the book down."

I scowled and ignored him, leafing through a couple more pages. Just a lot of weird symbols. The demon language, perhaps? Or was there more than one, like with humans? I suppose we couldn’t be too different. After all, there was a very human-like oval of soap in what appeared to be a fairly human-like bathroom this morning. Demons apparently had a whole ‘love of washing’ thing going on too. Except the toilet was kind of shaped like a triangle and instead of flushing, there was this button that said “Waste Extermination,” which was followed by a blast of lasers and a weird screechy noise, like children screaming.

I’d never felt bad for urine before. The demon world was just full of new experiences.

"-Mirei-," Maiku tried again, interrupting my reverie. He pulled his hands from his pockets and straightened his slumped shoulders enough to turn and give me a good glare.

"-Maiku-," I replied coldly, "it's just a book. It's not going to hurt me."

"That's what you said about the cup this morning."

I glared. "And the cup -didn't- hurt me."

"... Well. You were lucky that time."

I made a strangled noise of frustration and then continued to ignore him. I flipped through a few more pages of diagrams when the volume was suddenly yanked out of my hands.

"Maiku!" I demanded, "give that back!"

His scowl deepened. "No."

"But I was -reading- that!"

A faint smirk graced his countenance, the first thing to break his gloom and doom since yesterday.

"You were reading it? Since when do you read primitive Agonian?"

I flushed. "Well... I was looking at the pictures then."

“There aren’t any pictures.” He put it back on the shelf. I snorted and pulled another out. He grabbed it from me and put it back. We did this steadily for about two minutes. It was all very preschool, minus the playdoh and nap break.

"Enough already!" I cried, "just let me look at the damn thing!"

"No," he repeated dourly.

"Why not?!" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Because."

… Maybe we really needed that nap. I glared at him coldly.

"'Because' is -not- an answer."

"So?" He grunted, "now just leave the books alone and go do something else."

"Something else?" I shrilled, "you won't let me do 'something else'. You won't let me do -anything- else!"

He gave me a grim look. "Why is it you always have to be 'doing something'? Can't you ever just sit still?"

I ground my teeth together. "I don't -want- to just 'sit still', Maiku. I am not a porcelain doll. I will not break into pieces if you leave me alone for five. bloody. seconds."

"You're accident prone," he scoffed, "you're bound to get yourself into trouble."

I considered hurting my fist on his face.

"It's virtually impossible to get in trouble with a spoon, a cup, a hairbrush, a vase of weeds, a pillow in the shape of a triangle -or- a bunch of musty old books." There were a dozen other objects Maiku had stopped me from handling in the last twenty four hours, but I didn't feel like making the list any longer, "now go away and let me read in peace!"

"But you can't even -read- the---"

"--Whatever!" I bellowed. I swiped a random book off the shelf and opened it up. By now I had lost all interest in primitive Agonian, but it was the principle of the matter. Maiku was a powerful soul-slurping demon from a society where powerful soul-slurping demons were obeyed without question. It was time to show him that I wasn’t about to let him control every mundane detail of my—MY-- life. If I wanted to flounder through volumes of unreadable demonic text, then he should respect my wishes and let me flounder, damn it.

"I'm not going -anywhere-," Maiku growled, grabbing onto the book. I held fast, though, and matched him glare for glare. We tugged the spine of that poor volume back and forth. If my school’s librarian had been here, she’d have had a coronary. We weren’t respecting the literature at all. Although, I suspect if she ever got her hands on a volume of demonic text, she might have a problem trying to fit it into the Dewey decimal system.

"Let go," I hissed, narrowing my eyes.

"-You- let go," he growled back, eyes narrowing to angry slits, “I’m through asking nicely.”

I yanked harder. "Nicely? Nicely?? A pit bull has better manners than you do! Why don’t you just take your magic doohickey, conjure up a big cliff and go jump off it!"

"Go?" He repeated lowly, "you'd like that wouldn't you? Everyone just wants me to go, don’t they? Well guess what, girlie, I'm not going -anywhere-." He tugged the book towards him and I struggled to keep my grip. Considering his strength, I don't know why I was even trying, but---

I yelped as he tore the book from my hands. It flew across the room and Maiku looked at me with a smug expression, but I wasn't really paying him attention. I was too busy sticking my index finger in my mouth and wincing.

"Uh, what is it?" He asked at my pained wince, his expression caught between triumph and chagrin.

"Paper cut," I muttered from around my finger, looking balefully to the abandoned volume on the floor. Okay, so once again I proved that I had no chance of beating Maiku in a contest of strength. Well done me. I took my finger from my mouth to look at it. A tiny bead of blood appeared along the cut. I set my glare into Maiku,

"This is all your fault."

To my surprise, he actually seemed apologetic. He reached a hand out. "Here. Let me see it."

I stuck my finger back in my mouth and shook my head childishly. "Uh-uh. Go away. Cliff, remember?"

He sighed heavily. "Just let me see it, Mirei."

"No. What would you even know about blood anyway? You demons have super healing powers." I looked around woefully. "I bet there aren't even any band-aids in this place..."

"Mirei..." He warned, "finger. Now."

I refused to give in and turned away. "You can’t go five minutes without ordering me around, can you? This would never have happened if you'd just let me do what I wanted instead of trailing me like a royal bodyguard." Maiku ignored me and not so gently grabbed my arm.

"H-Hey!" I squeaked, more in surprise than hurt. He eased up, holding my wrist in a grip so loose I could've pulled away if I'd had a mind to. But I was too busy looking at his face. It was a mix of distress and downright frustration. Normally he was too busy being cocky to manage much in the way of expression, but I'd never seen him looking so… unconfident as he did now. Maiku was a master of the three S’s: smirk, scowl, and superior stare. This puckered brow and tired eyes didn’t fit the nice little box I’d put him in.

I didn't like it. Not one bit. The Maiku box needed to be upheld, for the sake of my sanity.

"Maiku," I coughed, against my better judgment, "is... is something bothering you?"

He inspected my finger acutely, as if it held the answer to all his problems.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well... You look... depressed." I had a thought, as I often do despite popular belief. I was hesitant to voice it, but curiosity beat back the little bubble of fear in my mind.

"It's… it’s because you had to give up soul collecting, right?"

His head shot up. "What? Why would you say that?"

I shrugged. "Well, you haven't been yourself for a few days now. I take it that you're beginning to doubt your decision?"

He nearly smirked. "Why Mirei, are you offering up your soul to make me feel better?"

I broke down in a coughing fit. He shook his head lightly.

"Besides the pay, I never really cared all that much for the job." This time he did laugh, if a bit bitterly, "besides, haven't you heard? I am now officially total crap at it. A failure to the utmost degree."

I smiled. "As a human, I may be a bit biased, but I’m not seeing this as such a bad thing." He gave me a stern look, but couldn't hold it. Instead he did something completely strange and kissed my finger. A spurt of warmth shot through my stomach, although that could easily be contributed to the dozen ulcers I have burning away my insides.

I could've pulled my hand back, stuffed Maiku back in the box and dismissed the gesture as a fluke these flukes were getting less and less fluke-like, to my increasing dismay, but instead I just let him hold my palm, under the pretences that he was blowing on the cut. He still seemed so down in the dumps, or wherever it is that demons get down in, Hell obviously not deep enough.

"Okay then," I began, "what -is- making you so sulky then?" He made a face at the adjective.

"I am not sulky. I do not sulk."

I snorted. “Yeah, and I’m a prima ballerina.”

Maiku gave me a crooked smirk. “I could make you think you’re a ballerina, if you want.” I pulled my hand from his grasp and swatted him, sighing impatiently.

"I can't live like this," I announced, "either you tell me what's making you into a sulking two year old, or I'm hopping the next magic dimensional door out of here." It was a bluff, of course, but the threat of escape was the only power I seemed to have with him.

His scowl deepened so much that I took a step backwards in trepidation. When he spoke, his voice was low.

"But you don't even know which ruddy door will reach him." His eyes flickered up at mine, "you'd just get lost, stupid girl, and then some other soul collector will find you and you'd be in deep shit. And you'd probably expect me to bail you out of it, wouldn't you? But I wouldn't even bother because you don't want me around anyway..."

I blinked at him. "What the devil are you talking about?"

He gave me a stern glare. "Don't deny it."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Deny -what-?"

He shuffled his feet around huffily before finally replying, blurting out his words so fast I barely caught them.

"Don’t-deny-that-you-want-to-run-off-with-this-secret-agent-guy-of-Kaonal’s.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, in full-out brood mode. “I mean, I never took you for the type to just run off with the first fancy new demon to show up. I’m not a soul collector anymore, but I’m still exciting, y’know, I’ve got skills. Big, exciting skills. I can juggle, did you know that? And… and… well, I bet my hair’s better than his….”

I just stared at him, trying to comprehend this inane babble.

Was Maiku feeling… threatened..? By… itsy bitsy little Eagan..? His Dark and Broodiness was feeling intimidated by a chipper, pudgy ten year old?

I burst out in rapid-fire snickers.

Maiku shot me an annoyed look. “Oh great. Now I’m fodder for jokes between you and your new go-to guy… He’s butch, isn’t he? And tattooed, I bet. Pretty soon he’ll be wanting you to get a tattoo, just you wait. Something dark and skull-like. Damn butch guys and their damn tattoos, thinking they can just ink up every girl who comes along…”

I choked on my laughter. Yes, Eagan was nothing if not butch and tattooed.

“Well,” Maiku snarled, “I’m not just going to let you go off with him. You’re too young for a tattoo, Mirei! I’m serious!”

"Oh, enough already!" I chortled, "There’s not going to be any tattoo! I mean, sure he's cute, but the age difference is just--" At this point, Eagan's nice spell took hold and I choked on my words. I was laughing quite hard and choking at the same time. Maiku must have thought I was bonkers.

That's okay. The feeling is mutual.

"Age difference?" He snarled, "if he's a demon -of course- there's going to be a bloody age difference. What is he, six thousand? Seven? You like older guys? But then you're already engaged to a young guy so I guess it swings both ways, doesn't it? And how would your scrawny little fiancé feel about you running off with this other guy, huh? You’re not even thinking about his feelings at all. It’s selfish, Mirei, and not like you. Or maybe it –is- like you, because it’s not like I even know who you are… Stupid, misleading little…." He puttered off grumpily.

His face was so bitter and angry that it just made me laugh harder. This in turn just made him more bitter and angry.

"Maiku," I chuckled happily, "you're such a complete and total idiot!"

He did not appear to agree.

"I have absolutely no desire to run off with anybody," I declared with a smile, "I just can't believe that you're--" A burst of laughter came out of me, "---threatened by a little b---" Annnd I was choking again.

At this, Maiku stopped scowling and kind of stared at me uncertainly. Something told me that not many people had the gall to laugh at powerful, soul-slurping demons very often.

“Little?” He asked submissively, “not butch?”

I smiled. “Not butch.”

“…And the tattooes…?”

“Completely erroneous figments of your insecure, paranoid subconscious.” I coughed a bit. “Like most of your beliefs.”

Maiku blinked, trying to recover some ground.

"Ah, then…” He sighed a little meekly, “I may have jumped to certain conclusions.”

I grinned and shook my head. Then my arms did something completely out of touch with my brain. I wrapped my arms around Maiku's mid-section in a hug.

I heard -him- choke. It was a nice change.

"I'm not going to run off and do something so stupid… Not like I could even if I wanted to…" I muttered into his chest, "so please, pretty please for the sake of my sanity, do -not- keep up this psycho bodyguard act."

To my surprise, and not an unpleasant one at that, he rested his chin on the top of my head. His hands remained stuffed sheepishly in his pockets and he sighed, whether from relief, exasperation or both, I wasn’t sure.

"You still need watching, you know,” he grunted, “you're completely accident prone. Trouble follows you around like--"

"--you do?" I finished. I'm not sure why I was feeling so light-headed. But Eagan had told me to accept my circumstances, and if Maiku being a silly prat was the reality, then I guess I was going to have to work with it. And if ‘working with it’ meant that I spontaneously had to hold Maiku in order to get him to shut up, then that was something I was just going to have to deal with. It was a tough arrangement, but I had to be strong.

I waited for him to pull away gruffly. But, he didn’t.

He didn’t? I was so surprised that I didn’t pull away either.

So, we weren’t pulling away now? Um. Okay then. The safe Maiku box was quickly losing structure.

There was a cough from the doorway.

Something of a growl resonated from Maiku’s chest. I didn’t have to look up to know it was Kaonal standing there.

I backed away from Maiku and smiled at Kaonal, and at Kareth as he came up behind his twin. I was, surprisingly, not embarrassed in the least. Perhaps I was just getting tired of being embarrassed. Or perhaps I was getting used to being seen close to Maiku. Or perhaps the cut on my finger was draining blood from my body so fast I was losing coherent thought.

… Nah.

"There's someone we'd like you to meet," Kaonal began, looking at me with a not quite pleased look on his face. Kareth nodded.

"She's someone we think you'll be very glad to know," he smiled politely, "she's been with us for some time now and she always helps out with our... special cases."

"I'm a special case then?" I asked. They nodded.

Well then. Better than a head case.

Kareth somehow managed to convince Maiku to stay behind see: miracle and took me down a hall that looked quite a bit like all the other halls. There were subtle differences, however, such as the tiny yellow ribbons tied in bows around what I’d affectionately deemed the ‘planterns’--- thin green vines that stretched out of almost every wall and ended in bright glowing spheres—and the distinct smell of jasmine wafting through the air. Everything in the Wulphe headquarters had some element of the organic to it, from the rounded corners of the ceilings to the soft green carpet that wistfully reminded me of our freshly cut lawn at home.

“So, I don’t suppose you’re taking me to see a shrink?” I asked flippantly, “you demon types have all seemed to hone in on the fact that I desperately need one.”

Kareth smiled politely, eyes shielded by the dark blue curtain of hair. “I doubt she would take kindly to being called a shrink.” Just as I was about to completely write him off as a humourless drone, he added dryly, “she prefers ‘soul trauma analyst’.” I grinned. There was hope for Kareth yet.

We stopped at a small wooden door with a shiny brass knob. It surprised me, simply because it was a contrast to the high tech vertical sliding doors the rest of the house used. Kareth knocked politely. A soft voice came from within.

“Please enter.”

He gave the knob a twist and we did just that. I was a little taken aback because the entire room looked like a time capsule from the early twentieth century. Or rather, it was like I’d stepped back in time, or maybe just into a rather convincing reenactment. The colours were rubies and golds and maroons, a contrast to the cool shades of the rest of headquarters. And at the centre of the room, seated at a small table, was a tiny little woman setting out a full blown china tea set.

“You must be Mirei,” she noted, “my name is Fern. Won’t you sit down?”

I glanced at the teapot. It had a yellow goldfish painted on it, and its bulging eye was watching me. I glanced behind me to the door.

“I’m not much for tea parties.” I bit my lip nervously.

Fern just kept smiling. Her skin was the roughly colour of brown sugar and she had the straightest black hair I’d ever seen. She wasn’t what I’d consider beautiful, but there was something about her, a kind of silent grace, that made her seem elegant. She wasn’t sophisticated like Varian, or had any of Chie’s physical ‘charms,’ and yet I couldn’t help but think she could be a queen or some sort of royalty. Regal. Yeah, that was the word. Goldfish eye or not, could you turn down a tea invitation from someone like that?

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Kareth nodded at her and she replied with a delicate arch of her head. Somehow the gestures seemed intimate, and I kind of felt like I was intruding on something private.

“Come sit, Mirei,” she beckoned as Kareth turned and walked away. I nodded slightly and passed through the doorway.

I tried to smile back at her, the way you force yourself to at family reunions and picture day, but her smile seemed like one of those things in life that simply couldn’t be tampered with, or challenged. Any attempt to best her with insincerity just seemed cheap.

“So,” I hummed instead, “what kind of demon are you? The fashion-y kind, the soul-sucking kind, or the, uh, Tatsuke kind?”

Those lips widened and I caught a flash of white teeth just before she covered her quiet laughter with a hand.

“None of the above, I’m afraid.”

I tried not to wince. Oh good. Another kind of demon I had no idea how to deal with.

She seemed to sense my discomfort, and patted the cushion on the chair beside her. I took my seat somewhat awkwardly, but she just kept smiling. Normally anything that sunny would irritate me to no end, but Fern wasn’t setting off any alarms. She just waited for me to get settled.

“I don’t suppose –you’d- like to give me a tour of Hell?” I joked weakly, “I mean, you hear things, but there’s nothing like experiencing it first hand, eh?”

Her smile altered slightly. “I would, Mirei, but I haven’t seen much of it myself.”

I looked at her curiously. “Haven’t done much traveling in your thousands of years?”

Fern’s chocolate eyes flickered with amusement and she turned her body to face me directly.

“Mirei, I’m only twenty four years old.”

I smiled placatingly. “No, it’s okay, I know all about demon aging. You don’t have to lie. I’m not going to freak out,” I tilted my head sheepishly. “Well, not again, anyway.”

She chuckled softly. “I’m not lying, Mirei. I’m human.”

I stared.

She smiled with disgusting sincerity.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “This wouldn’t happen to be an elaborate trick designed to mess with my already damaged psyche, is it?”

She kept smiling. “Not at all.” Then she laughed a little. “Kareth told me about your little… paranoia problem.”

“I am not paranoid,” I insisted, “I’m just… apprehensive, guarded and slightly cagey.” I paused. “Did Maiku put you up to this?”

Her eyebrows rose, as if expecting me to crack a smile at my own joke. Problem was, I wasn’t joking. It took her a second to realize it and then she just sort of coughed and took an extreme interest in pouring me tea.

We decided not to revisit the paranoia issue.

I looked around awkwardly. What did one say to probably the only other free human in a foreign demon dimension? ‘So, we’re both homo sapiens, isn’t that a hoot?’ Somehow I doubted that would be the conversation starter of the year. It also reminded me of my general shortcomings in the area of human interaction. But Fern must have sensed my discomfort, because she eased into small talk about, not about the human world as I’d expected, but rather the demon one. And slowly, I found myself opening up. The woman had a gift. I could see why Kareth and Kaonal retained her to help out with the more interesting ASHSS cases. Which lead me to ask my next question.

“So, how did you come to be here with Kaonal and Kareth? They put out an ad in the local paper? Find your resume online?”

She seemed a little confused by my joke. But most people didn’t get me, so I wasn’t too worried.

“Actually, they rescued me.” She set her teacup down. “My picture will be at the very bottom of the wall. I was one of the early ones.”

I nodded sagely, as if I was some kind of demonic expert. “So what big bad soul sucker did they save you from?”

Fern pressed her fingertips together. “Soul sucker..? That’s an interesting way to think about it.” She sighed and looked pensive for a moment.

“Well, in my town, I was considered plain,” she seemed unbothered by the thought, “I had no family, and no prospects. I cleaned house for a building of scriveners. --Clerks,” she added at my confused look, “they were very kind, but their business folded and I was let go without a second thought, as is the way of humanity.” She got a glint in her eye that I couldn’t quite read.

“Then I met Gance.”

I shifted, trying to read the look on her face. At best, it was a strained smile, at worst partially veiled regret. She hesitated, so I filled in the rest resentfully.

“And he was anything but human.”

She laughed. “Don’t sound so outraged, Mirei. He was a young demon, looking to make a name for himself. He was just trying to do his job, much like your Maiku.” I held back a protest that he was far from ‘mine’.

I did snort in disbelief, though. “Yeah, by stealing your soul! Did this Gance guy try to convince you that you were a goddess too?”

Fern grew silent for a moment and the quiet, sad look returned.

“Not quite,” her smile reappeared slightly, “he ‘made’ me a family.”

I swallowed. “Oh.” I hadn’t considered the potential of Maiku’s job. He could’ve made me whatever he wanted, or rather, whatever -I- wanted. A princess, a rock star, a dental hygienist. He could’ve made me a new family, or fixed my old one. He could’ve turned back time, made it so my mom never left, or even that Kuno never started dating Chie. He could’ve fulfilled any fantasy.

I felt sort of nauseous, and oddly grateful that Maiku hadn’t explored any painful possibilities.

Her hands clasped gently in her lap and she beamed. “Don’t look like that. It was all fake, remember? You know, for someone who’s been spending so much time around demons, you have a bit of a negative attitude towards them.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. A bit?

“Well, why shouldn’t I? Not only did Maiku kidnap me, he submitted me to all kinds of torture, including life threatening situations with fashion and giant monkeys. He made me think that I was going insane, severely damaged my self esteem on many an occasion, kept me from having the slightest understanding of our circumstances--- I still don’t know exactly what’s going on here,” I felt a burst of anger flow through me, “and even worse, he’s lied to me about almost everything!”

I then proceeded to compare Maiku to several unhygienic barn animals, then apologize to the unhygienic barn animals for comparing them to Maiku. Then I went on rant about the many ways in which I could murder him using a garden rake. But the time I finished, Fern was watching me intently, a small little uncertain smile on her face.

“This isn’t about demons in general, is it?” She mused, “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you’re holding a grudge against Maiku in particular.”

I shook my head fervently. “Everything is not about that jerk!”

She sighed in a way that should’ve felt patronizing but didn’t.

“Is it the fact that Maiku is a demon that bothers you, or is the problem simply that he didn’t tell you about it?”

“Or maybe,” I scoffed bitterly, “it’s the fact that he tried to steal my soul just so he could power a demonic light bulb.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Oh. I see.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “See what?”

She took a noncommittal sip of tea and looked in the opposite direction. “Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“See –what-?” I insisted, “it can’t be nothing because you can’t ‘see’ nothing.”

Fern set the little silver cup back on the saucer and looked into my eyes calmly.

“Well, I just didn’t realize you had such feelings for him.”

I felt the familiar scowling protest creep up on me. It was becoming annoyingly common.

“Oh,” I scoffed, “you’re kidding, right?”

Fern blinked a few times. “Of course not. But now it makes sense that you would be so angry with him. When you love someone, your emotions, both the good and bad, tend to be… enhanced.”

I flinched. “He’s just very… dislikable. My emotions are not enhanced.”

She held my gaze. “You just said you felt like killing him...”

I fumbled for my tea cup. “T-That’s not intense. It’s perfectly normal!”

“… With the intensity of an atomic bomb.”

I spilt hot liquid on my hand. “I was exaggerating!”

“… And a thousand imploding suns.”

I took a large gulp of tea. The water scalded my tongue and I yelped. She just gave me the most horrible look of understanding and waited for me to regain my composure. What she didn’t know was that was a wait for a train that just wasn’t coming.

I took a deep breath and tried to reason with her in my most calm tone of voice.

“Look,” I began, “I know you’re trying to relate to me because you’re human like I am, and you think you can help smooth things over between Maiku and I, but you’ve got it all wrong. I’m getting pretty sick of people just assuming—“ I air quoted the next words, “that ‘Ilove him.’ It’s insulting! Things have been like this from the beginning. Maiku and I…” My jaw muscle clenched painfully as I spoke. “… We’re irreconcilable. Mismatched. Barely able to coexist in the same universe, let alone the same room. This isn’t some clichéd love-hate thing. It’s a clichéd hate-hate thing!”

And with that, I slammed Maiku’s emotional box firmly shut again.

Fern looked downwards for a moment. Finally. She’d given in. Admitted defeat. Made peace with an ugly truth. A small part of me felt disappointed. A larger part felt relieved. There’s only so much defending I could do. Especially when I could still feel Maiku’s soft shirt pressed against my cheek. But it was a little late to start admitting that maybe, just maybe, Maiku and I, demon and human, weren’t doomed to destroy each other. Even if he hadn’t pulled away, and even if I hadn’t either.

I tried not to dwell on it. No one likes to think of themselves as a hypocrite.

“You know, Mirei,” Fern murmured quietly, still staring down into the leaves in her tea cup, “Kareth and I are going to be married.”

I blinked. “Married?” I was still stuck on this bonding concept. Could demons do both?

She nodded calmly. “One day when humans aren’t hunted down for souls. Kareth wants to live back in the human dimension with me. We’re going to find a nice piece of land, somewhere where there are rolling hills and a little stream nearby. And we’ll have a tidy little cottage with big bay windows that face the mountains in the distance.”

I was shocked, but managed to squeak out, “H-how nice.”

Fern chuckled. “Gance planned it out for me. He read my secret dream. And I’m grateful because now I have something to work towards.”

I could only stare at her. She and Kareth, together. Demon and human. Suddenly the distinction didn’t seem so important. Then my mind brought up one important fact.

“Is this supposed to mean that my secret dream is to be a GODDESS??” I yelped.

Fern just laughed behind her hand.

“I suppose you’ll have to talk to Maiku about that.”

I frowned. “He’d probably say yes just to annoy me.” Fern gave me such a mysteriously warm smile that I wasn’t sure whether I should be on guard or just grateful that she wasn’t looking at me like I belonged in an asylum. Although if Maiku kept acting like a celebrity bodyguard, I was sure to end up in a room with padded walls.

“You’re not so different, you and Maiku,” Fern continued. I barked out a disbelieving laugh.

“Yeah. He’s only got super strength, a million year lifespan, magic doodads, and high-speed regenerative powers. We’re practically identical.”

She leaned forward slightly, as if about to say something secretive.

Fern bit her lip and grinned a little. “Did you know that demons can’t swim?”

I blinked. “Huh?”

She tittered a little behind her hand. “They can’t swim, none of them. They just splash away and sink like stones. Ask any demon what their biggest fear is, and if they’re truthful, they’ll tell you… Oceans. No demon has ever taken a human within a mile of a large body of water.” She laughed again, this time a little less ladylike. “So we do have a superpower, Mirei. We can do the backstroke.”

I cracked a wry smile, picturing Maiku floundering in the shallow end of a public pool. I was still chuckling when Varian burst into the room unceremoniously, looking more than a little pissed off. She positively radiated cold fury. She also looked a little less put-together than usual. Her long frosty green hair was shaken up and her sleek white powersuit had a few minor wrinkles. Fern immediately reined in her smile and nodded to the woman respectfully, nicely hiding her surprise.

“You must be Miss Varian,” she murmured, “Kaonal probably isn’t expecting you.”

“No,” her pink glossy lips pulled up over a snarl, “he probably isn’t, due to the fact that he convinced his brother to leave me stranded in Maiku’s little doll house with that repulsive blonde copy.” Varian’s nostrils flared, her normal cool evaporating away at the speed of light. She gave Fern an evaluating glance and then exhaled in a way that reminded me of a bull before a rampage. I glanced at Fern’s red blouse and winced. The girl, however kind she may be, was in no position to be Varian’s matador. I had to intercede before she attacked. I tried to think of the quickest way to pull her attention away from Fern.

“So, uh, Varian,” I coughed, “how do you feel about water wings?”

Her frosted glare snapped down on me like an elastic band. I then realized that perhaps I wasn’t the matador-ing type myself. More like the run and hide until the psycho demon woman goes away or finds another target type.

“Mirei,” she acknowledged icily, “how nice to see that you haven’t managed to get yourself obliterated into nothingness yet.” She paused. “Oh, did I say ‘nice’? I meant ‘appalling’.”

I shrugged. “I make it look effortless, don’t I?” Then I smiled a little and crossed my arms, deciding to play a dangerous game called ‘Mirei Has A Death Wish.’ Fern looked a little anxious, not that I could blame her.

“So, Kaonal doesn’t want you around?” I faked a scoff, “I can’t imagine why not. I mean, you two seem so tight, what with your blatant dismissal of his existence and all. Warm and fuzzy feelings all around. Puppies and kittens, sugar and spice, rainbows and---”

“---I said ‘yet’, Mirei,” Varian interrupted, “I have no qualms whatsoever with rectifying your state of obliteration, Maiku’s obsession with your human manner notwithstanding.”

I tried to brush the threat off. She meant that a little less than usual. I think.

She glowered a hole through my forehead.

… Maybe not.

Fern cleared her throat a little. “Miss Varian, can I get you some tea? To… uh… calm your nerves?”

I winced. For Varian to admit she had nerves to be calmed was like me divulging that maybe Fern had a point with her little ‘feelings’ theory, or admitting that on my bed at home I had a fuzzy stuffed ox named Coocoobaloo, which, of course, I didn’t.

Well, my Coocoobaloo is actually a yak. Oxen have that weird nose thing.

Just as I was sure Varian was about to lunge for Fern’s jugular, Kaonal popped his head into the room, like a babysitter checking on children who have been suspiciously quiet for too long. He scanned over Varian with the same aloof acknowledgment as he gave Fern and I. Varian was suddenly as calm and collected as ever. She came over and sat down beside me as if we were in the midst of a little chat.

“I see you hacked my portal, Varian,” Kaonal hummed after nodding to Fern and I, “took you longer than I thought.”

Varian shifted her head to look distractedly over her shoulder, as if she hadn’t even noticed his arrival. “Well, it’s not like I was in any kind of hurry.”

Kaonal’s lips twitched. “No, no, of course not. I hope you aren’t angry with me for telling Kareth to come on without you. I knew you’d find your way back here all on your own.”

She tilted her head idly. “Angry? I wouldn’t waste my anger on you or your childish pranks. What would be the point?”

I was about to laugh at the complete absurdity of her statement, but Varian’s hand closed on my elbow under the table so tightly I had to bite my lip to keep from yelping.

Kaonal just watched her for a second. I could sense Varian’s growing confidence in her victory in this bizarre contest of detachment. Kaonal turned back towards the door and then stopped.

“Oh,” he coughed, not bothering to turn around, “and I feel you must know one of the house rules here. Childish, really, but Kareth and I simply don’t allow our human guests to be obliterated into nothingness. It’s bad for business, you understand.”

Varian’s jaw clenched. “Of course. Perfectly reasonable.”

Kaonal nodded and exited. Varian exhaled and then looked down in disgust at the teapot. She turned to Fern and sighed.

“Got anything with a little bit more of a… kick?”

Fern looked a little confused. “You mean coffee?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone took seats around the round table.

“The Official Anti-Akumi Pro-Human Soul Equality Task Force, Subset of The Association For the Safeguard of Homo Sapiens Sapiens, Brainstorming Meeting shall now commence,” Tatsuke announced proudly, flourishing his hand to free the cover off the tray in front of him, “now with finger sandwiches!”

Mirei swallowed, “Okay, so when you say ‘finger sandwiches’, you don’t mean actual fingers, do you?”

Maiku just stared. “The Official Anti-Akumi Pro….We are -not- calling ourselves that.”

“… I mean, I know you guys are demons, but…”

Sumi purred from her spot on the bookshelf behind him. “And, why not? I think it has a nice ring to it.”

Tatsuke beamed and reached out to pat her. “And that, my dearest Sumisha, is why I love you the best.”

“… No one answered my fingers question.”

Maiku shook his head, “No, really, we’re not calling ourselves that. Heck, I can’t even remember the whole thing…”

Sumi did not look happy and as Tatsuke drew closer she spat, “I will cut them off.”

The human gasped, “His fingers?!”

“… Official Akumi Anti-Force Pro-Human Equa, what..?”

“… Really, I’m not hungry…”

“… That’s a nice kitt---OW.”

Varian, Kareth and I just watched this exchange, not quite sure how to intercede.

My brother leaned across the table to mutter. “Are you still sure this is a good idea?”

Varian, who had been frigidly ignoring my existence while at the same time acknowledging everything I said with astonishing civility, sighed.

“Anything involving Maiku and finger sandwiches is never a good idea.” Then she sighed again. She was very good at it. “But I suppose we do need to form some kind of game plan if my brother is going to save his life, let alone his dignity.”

I had to admire her devotion, however unintended, to her brother. Especially since the man was a complete asshole. I tried to block his words from last night out of my mind.

“Mirei,” Kareth began, “explain to us again what you learned from…” He paused briefly, and of course I knew why, “what you heard about Akumi.”

Maiku didn’t miss the slip up, and scowled. He was still angry about remaining out of the loop on that particular development. But Kareth and I weren’t about to talk about our ‘contact’, and Mirei certainly couldn’t. It wasn’t something Maiku needed to know about. He’s played his part and with any luck he should be stepping aside to let us handle the girl.

But by the way his eyes followed her, I knew I would have no luck.

Mirei went over it again. “Well, Akumi is holding this big party in honor of her four thousandth birthday…”

Varian sneered. “You mean in honor of her four thousandth four thousandth birthday. That woman must be at least eight thousand years old.”

Mirei smiled awkwardly. “Eh, sure.” She then went on to re-explain that Akumi plotted to lure Maiku to her using something acquired at this gala. “She never really said what that thing was,” she mused, “but she did do a lot of evil snickering, which in my books isn’t usually a good thing.”

“What could it be?” Maiku wondered, “it’s not like I really care about anyone who’ll be there.”

“She could kidnap your mother,” Sumi supplied.

Maiku gave her a dead look and then resumed, “Like I was saying, it’s not like I’ll really care about anyone who’ll be there.”

There was a silence. Tatsuke stood from his chair.

“Finger sandwich time!”

Mirei looked a little green.

Things lost focus as Tatsuke passed around the food. Varian’s heel clacked impatiently against the floor. Not that she was impatient, mind you. I think the noise was just an attempt to bring the focus back to her. She was used to being the centre of attention. Not that she was a diva. Not that she cared if you thought she was a diva. She told me once that all being the focus of all that constant surveillance helped her think, kept her reflexes sharp. The more we focused on her, the more she focused on what she had to be, had to do. It was a very Varian thing to believe.

If she honestly thought that, then she must be horribly unfocused at the moment. Maiku was grumbling about something to Sumisha, Kareth was rearranging his sandwiches in an orderly line and Tatsuke was attempting to shove the food down Mirei’s throat, cooing “Fingers are considered a delicacy in some countries.”

In fact, I was probably the only one paying her any attention at all. She was still angry because I’d left her behind coming here. She was still angry because I’d let her leave me behind once before.

Maiku was wrong. He had to be wrong. And now maybe Varian was willing to admit it too.

I felt myself smile.

The unusual gesture must’ve thrown her off, because her eyes widened slightly and she looked away quickly, biting into a sandwich. She covered the flinch admirably, and only someone who knew her well, and was looking for it, would’ve been able to tell anything had happened. But I was both those things, and she wasn’t fooling me.

She swallowed, looked at me again

“It’s me, y’know. Akumi’s going to kidnap me.”

I frowned. “What makes you say that? You said earlier that Akumi didn’t even issue you an invitation.”

The others were paying attention now. Varian brushed her hair back out of her face, which is what she usually did when she was bothered by something. Most people’s reaction to being threatened was to hide, but not her. Varian’s reaction was to expose herself more, give the illusion of invincibility.

“She's genius, really. By -not- giving me an invitation, she's assured that I'll attend just to spite her. I have a reputation to uphold after all. Oh bother. Then she's going to try to kidnap me or something equally pathetic and then ransom me off to you, Maiku.”

"Rest assured," he smirked, "I'd never trade my freedom for yours."

Varian smiled wryly, “I appreciate that, little brother.”

“If she is actually planning on targeting Varian, then we need to come up with a plan.”

Mirei rose her hand and gave me an incredulous look. “Here’s an idea. How about Varian just… doesn’t go?”

Tatsuke sighed and patted Mirei on the head. “Best leave the planning to the grown-ups, dear.”

Varian scoffed. “Was that supposed to be a good idea?” Mirei just looked around disbelievingly.

“Let me get this straight,” she coughed, “Akumi didn’t give you an invite, and therefore you have to go..? And even though you know Akumi is going to kidnap you, you’re going to go anyway..?” She shook her head, “and how is this not insane?”

Varian just stared at the girl tiredly. “Maiku, it’s making noise again.”

Maiku glared at his sister and then turned to Mirei. “If Akumi had given her an invitation, Varian could have opted out and ignored her, but seeing as Akumi didn’t, it’s like a snub, and Varian has to go and defend her social position.”

Mirei gaped. “What is this, high school on crack?”

We all kind of bobbed our heads at her.

She blinked. “Terrific. I failed social ladder climbing.”

“Well, that’s okay,” Maiku interjected, “because you’re staying here. No ladders for you.”

“You’re not forcing Tatsuke to stay behind,” she protested.

Maiku replied as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“That would be because if Tatsuke got destroyed, I wouldn’t be concerned.”

Mirei’s frown wasn’t quite enough to cover her pleased blush and she looked away quickly. That was a shame, because if she just tilted her head up, she would see the amused affection crossing Maiku’s face, mixed with surprise, as if he was astonished such a little comment would get that kind of reaction. I wasn’t one to keep up on celebrity scandals, but even I knew the kind of women Maiku was usually involved with. Not the kind of girls who wasted time blushing, or even knew how.

Varian watched the both of them with obvious disgust. Long ago the eldest Kuukyo had trained herself to never blush, as she thought it was unprofessional to show any involuntary emotion. I couldn’t help but wonder, however, if she felt any kind of jealousy towards this naive girl who showed her emotions so plainly, without any thought (or hope) of suppressing them. Oh, Mirei probably thought she did a fine job of keeping things in check, but to a master like Varian, it must be excruciating to watch. And even worse, that the human’s effortless allure was bait for a trap Maiku was all too willingly walking into.

Varian’s right eye squinted a little more than her left, a sure sign that she was about to snap.

“Maiku!” She hissed, “you’re not thinking of attending, are you? Because only someone who’s brain had just been replaced with a moldy sponge would consider voluntarily showing up at this event! What, have those five hundred years turned you into even more of a halfwit than you already were?!” Her perfectly shaped nails dug into the table and she had a scowl on her face that would’ve scared Akumi Ch’kara herself.

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smirking.

“Why, yes, I am,” Maiku growled, “I figure it’s time I started trying to help myself for once. It’s time to stop running. If I’m going to have a future here, it’s time I tried fixing some of my mistakes.”

Ever so briefly, his yellow eyes reached across the table to mine. His face was firm, resolute.

You’re wrong, it said, and I will show you.

I admit, I was thrown by the undiluted resolve in his eyes. For the first time I decided to give Maiku the benefit of the doubt. Maybe… maybe.

Varian’s hands slammed down on the table. “No,” she hissed, “you can’t face her yet. You’re not ready. You’re just going to screw it up and get yourself killed, or worse, bonded. I gave you those blueprints so you could –plan- something, not just run in there without thinking. I mean, what do you plan to do, just---”

“You’re wrong,” I murmured. Maiku’s brow rose.

Varian seemed surprised, and then angry once again.

“And you’re a slimy bastard.”

Well, she wasn’t entirely wrong about that. She continued to rant and rave, but across the table, Maiku nodded ever so slightly at me. And then Varian started hitting him with the metal finger sandwich tray, which then caused him to nod straight into—and through—the table.

She was irritable, bossy, obsessive compulsive, arrogant, domineering, violent, dipped in cyanide and covered in poisonous spikes. The coldest, most intolerable woman in the dimension.

I smiled slightly.

Varian spun around abruptly and glared in my direction.

“And YOU. What do you mean I’m WRONG??”

Then she turned the sandwich tray on me.

And this was the one I was going to spend eternity with.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

… Maiku held a ice press to his swollen eye.

“Pass the gauze,” Kaonal sighed, finger touching a swollen lip.

Wordlessly, Maiku passed the gauze.

Tears stung my eyes as I watched them sit, faces to the wall, in their separate corners. Varian paced back and forth angrily, kicking the abandoned tray with those fabulous mauve pumps of hers.

“Mirei,” I sniffed to the girl, “I am never making finger sandwiches again!”

If she felt upset by that, she hid her grief well.

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There we go. I really hope the finger sandwich thing was funny to someone other than myself. ;; For some reason, I find finger sandwiches to be one of the most hilarious things ever. Next to platypi. And people who watch the Home Shopping Channel. Namely, my grandmother.

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Next on PG: The Hell of the Ball

Locks, keys. Limp-eyed pleas and a couple of fleas. Dorsal fins. The red sequined monster becomes more than a little green eyed. Vaulting vaults. Maiku makes his comeback. Tatsuke makes the outfits. Varian makes a fist. And Mirei is making her demonic debute and she doesn’t even know it yet.

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Again, thanks for sticking around folks. Almost six hundred reviews makes me very happy indeed. Comments, criticisms, and such are always welcomed.

--Kitzo