Stu rubbed his eyes. Another morning, another day, another kick in the
groin. That would happen later, at work. It always did.

Stu looked out the window and saw the sun, a beautiful orb of fire. Wait.
That wasn't the sun. That was the apartment complex next door on fire.
Again. It was still beautiful though.

Grabbing his briefcase and hat Stu headed out the door. Not enough
people wear hats when they go outside anymore. You know, those little
hats with the brim like they wore in the fifties. That's the kind Stu
wore. He'd always wanted to put a feather in it, but he could never
find one that was big enough. He came close once, but the Zoo officials
kicked him out before he managed to grab one.

He walked down the street, past the firetrucks gathered across the street,
in the direction of his office. He always called it his office, despite
the fact that he worked in a cubicle. Stu hated cubicles. The walls were
so weak that he couldn't put any pressure on them. The one time he tried
to hang a calender on one it had fallen over and hit Reynolds. Work
sucked. Some days he wondered why he even bothered to go. Incedentally,
those were the days he got he paycheck.

"TAXI!" he shouted. They just sped past on their marry way. At least,
he assumed their way was merry. One Taxi smashed into Stu. Stu didn't
know what to do in response to this, other then the obvious, which
was to fall down. As he got back to his feet and put his papers back
into his briefcase, he noticed that the backseat was empty. But before
he could even attempt to get in, the cab sped away. Stu sighed. He
hated Mondays through Fridays.

Stu stumbled into his office building. He worked on the seventh floor,
which was why the elevator never worked. Elevators didn't like Stu.
Neither did:
Stereos
Toasters
Air Conditioners
Buses
Children
Coffee
Dogs
Any kind of Automobiles
Mailmen
Computers
Cameras
Televisions
Microwaves
To name a few.

Stomping up the stairs yet again, a thought occured to Stu- why not
try pushing the button on the elevator? Well, a little late for shouldas,
he was on his floor. As he opened the door, someone pushing a coffee
cart walked by. The cart hit Stu in the groin. He knew it'd happen.
Every day without fail.

This was Stu's life. And yet somehow he managed to keep a sunny demeanor.
Don't you hate people like that?