Jumping to Conclusions is Bad for Your Weekend Sanity

Written:           March 1, 2002

Disclaimer:       Any semblance to anyone in life is purely a coincidence.

Inspiration:       Drinking Sprite one hour before, eating rice, and listening to awesome Taiko drums and listening to Cowboy Bebop, while remembering funny fan fictions.

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                Jocelyn Smith, a teacher, was so happy the weekend had arrived. After beginning the new biology section of the curriculum, she was ready to switch over to teach kindergarteners.

            “At least David will be home this weekend,” she said to herself, smiling and thinking about her husband.

            “Did you get what you need?” a female voice asked. It sounded familiar to her, but she couldn’t place it.

            “Yeah, I got it and you wouldn’t believe how cheap it was too,” a male answered back to the other. “Did you get the gloves?”

            “Check.” She answered.

            “Vaseline?”

            “Check.”

            “Bed sheets?”

            “Check… oh wait. I have to get those.”

            Jocelyn blinked and wheels turned around in her mind, coming up with too many conclusions. I'm definitely changing subjects...  she thought to herself as she shook her head. Jocelyn decided to keep moving and finish her shopping. Couldn’t those two speak any louder?

            “Well,” he said. “That’s in the next isle. I got the rope, duct tape, and wire.”

            Rope? That made Jocelyn stop in her tracks. And duct tape? Her eyes widened.

            “Why wire?” she asked.

            “I need it…” the other slowly said.

            “Uh huh. Did you get the extra shirt? Towels?”

            Jocelyn dropped the shampoo bottle she had in her hands and she stood there. What was going on?

            “Well what do you see in my hand?”

            “A bed sheet and curtain?” she asked. The girl paused and then squealed. “Aw, that shirt looks so cute…”

            “Har, har, har.” He said sarcastically. “What else was there?”

            “Okay. Scented candles, plastic bags, uh… and camera. That’s it I think,” she said.

            “Oh, okay. Let’s get going then.” He answered her.

            Jocelyn heard their cart move and she was picking up the bottle and turned around.

            “Mrs. Smith?” the girl asked from behind.

            They were behind her… wait, how did she know her? Jocelyn turned around and blinked.

            “Katherine?” she choked out. Jocelyn took the time to look at the male. He was at least five or more years older than her student was.

            “Yeah. How are you?” she asked, smiling to her teacher.

            “Oh, I'm fine… who is this with you?” she asked.

            “Ah, this is Alexander,” Kate emphasized the last part of his name.

            “Katie…” Alex said.

            “You’re no fun.” Kate mock pouted. “Well, nice seeing you Mrs. Smith.”

            She’s so calm… Jocelyn thought. “Yes, I’ll see you in class Monday. But Katherine, may I talk to you for a second?”

            “Okay…” she looked up at Alex, who just shrugged.

            Kate walked over to the side a little ways from Alex with her teacher. Jocelyn sighed and Kate took this as a bad sign.

            “It’s not about my grade is it? I’ve been doing the work Mrs. Smith. I studied for that test you gave earlier in the week. Please… I'm not failing am I?” Kate suddenly rambled, making Jocelyn’s head spin.

            “That’s not what I was going to talk about. And Kate, you’re not failing and you did very well on the test,” Jocelyn said.

            Kate sighed, relieved. “Oh good… so what did you want to talk to me about?”

            “I have one piece of advice…” she took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “If you want to eh… if you decide to do that… just do that after you’ve graduated high school… even better when you’re actually ready.”

            Kate blinked. “Mrs. Smith, what are you talking about?”

            Jocelyn sighed. “Look, if you plan to have IT with that boy, do it when you’re older.” She stated.

            Kate had her mouth opened and slowly began to laugh. “You… you thou-thought… oh man! Ha-ha…!” Kate doubled over, tears coming to her eyes. She calmed herself down so she could speak. “Mrs. Smith… heh… Alex is my cousin.”

            Jocelyn was confused now.

            “Alex is my COUSIN. We’re out together to buy stuff my mom asked me to get and he wanted to see the town while we drove. I’ll show you.” Kate said, taking out a folded piece of paper out of her pocket. “See? It’s a list.”

            Jocelyn took it and looked it over. Hair dye, ice cream, milk, kitchen towels, extra shirt for gardening, rope for Allison’s project, duct tape… she stopped reading the piece of paper and gave it back to her.

            “Oh… well. I’ll be seeing you in class Monday. Good bye.” Jocelyn said, went back for her cart and left the isle.

            “What was that about?” Alex asked her cousin.

            “I’ll tell you when we get home… I'm never going to shop for mom again.”