Thoughts Under The Rain And Dark Sky
I hear the raindrops fall on the ground.
I feel them fall on me as well.
God, I love the rain.
I just feel that it cleanses me.
. from everything. from all my sins.
. in the past and in the present.
Soon, the sun will set.
How awful. I hate it.
. this sunset.
I feel whenever I see.
. the sun go down, I stay longer.
. in the face of the earth.
. but neither do I like the sunrise.
. it's the same for me.
How I wish the rain wouldn't stop.
. but how I wish the sun would.
I look away as the sun slowly goes down.
I wish not to see it.
I close my eyes and think of everything.
. everything I've done. all my sins.
As I open them again, the sun was out.
I didn't think it was that fast.
. or was I just thinking for so long. ?
Night was approaching.
The darkness fastly covering up the light.
. whatever light was left.
I dropped down on the ground.
. and lean on the tree behind me.
How I wish I had someone.
. who I could be with forever.
. but I'm scared that they'll leave me.
. someday. and hurt me badly.
I close my eyes once again.
I felt as if I were drowning.
The rain grew stronger.
I was wet all over.
. but I didn't care.
. it was only rain after all.
I think of what I'd be like.
. if I were like everyone else.
. happy like they are. in their own houses.
. with people surrounding them.
. but I stopped dreaming.
I knew it would never happen.
I'm not like them. I don't have a home.
I'm just a homeless person. without anyone.
I just stay in this dark forest.
. secluded. away from everyone else.
. and feel sorry for my pathetic little self.
I raise up my wrist and looked at it.
I didn't know that I made so much.
. cuts on it already.
I slowly lied back down on the ground.
As I lay down.
I stare up into that dark sky.
. with the rain falling on me.
. wishing this would all end.
. wishing to end my suffering.
I was worthless after all.
I was pathetic after all.
Why would anyone care if I did die. ?
I brought out a knife from my pocket.
I slowly cut my wrist.
. as deep as I could.
I bit my lip.
.but soon I'd feel nothing.
I felt I was drifting away.
. felt tat I was slowly slipping away.
I smiled and up at that dark sky once again.
"God, please. I beg of you. let it all end now.
please. let my only wish. my only dream.
. come true."
I felt myself fading.
I closed my eyes.
. and breathed my last.