It started with a girl. Somehow, it always starts with a girl.

I met her at The Cocoa Nut, a café famous around the campus for two things: bad food and even worse service. You always took a gamble when you ordered there, but I still like the place. It’s quiet right around lunch time, let’s me do some thinking. I had just settled down to my usual meal of a turkey club and a Snapple and was about to read an article about a giant squid washing ashore, when she walked in.

I couldn’t help but look at her. She was about six inches shorter than me, had short black hair that reached down to her shoulders, sparkling bright blue eyes… I could go on and on, but let’s just say this girl was gorgeous. I would almost say actress-type gorgeous, but they always looked so fake to me. This girl looked real.

As luck would have it, we finished our meals at about the same time and we were both walking out the door. She was behind me and I held the door for her. As she walked out, I glanced to my right and saw something that made my heart freeze.

This might sound dumb, but it was a t-shirt. Well, not so much the t-shirt as what was on the t-shirt. Why would anyone put him on a shirt? Especially when he has caused so much destruction, so many deaths.

In my horror, I forgot to move out of the way. The girl from the café walked right into me, spilling her books and papers everywhere. I bent down to help her out and apologized profusely. We exchanged the normal pleasantries and made some small talk. It turned out her name was Tina, she was from Kansas, and this was her first year here at the University of Miami. This all seemed too much like a movie. I could feel my heart beating ever faster. Then, she nervously twisted a strand of her black hair.

"Would you like to show a country girl around a big city like Miami?" she asked as she stood up, finally having collected all of her things. For the second time that day, my heart froze.

You see, I’m deathly afraid to go into the city. This may not seem that odd. Lots of people are afraid to go into the city. Some hate having all those people around you. Others worry about muggers and killers. Some people even hate the traffic. None of those things bother me. They’re all small time fears.

I’m afraid of Godzilla.

An epic battle began to play out in my head. On one hand, here was this beautiful girl who was obviously interested in me. On the other hand, I could die a horrible death at the hands of a giant monster. Decisions, decisions. Eventually, my hormones won out.

"Sure," I managed to spit out. "I’ll meet you here at 6:00 and we’ll take a taxi into downtown Miami."

"Sounds great, see you later," she said with a smile. As she was leaving, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Hopefully, she didn’t sense my uneasiness.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I asked myself as I went to my class. My Psych 101 teacher was droning on about Freud, but I couldn’t focus. All my thoughts were on tonight, and what could happen. The class finally ended and I took a cab back to my apartment.

I live in a small neighborhood in a suburb of Miami. Most Miami-U students live in the city and have a short commute to the campus. I have to travel a little bit longer, but I would never be able to live in the city. Godzilla always attacks cities.

My apartment is actually pretty decent. I managed to keep it relatively clean and my furniture was mostly unstained. It was pretty nice for a college guy living on his own. The only thing that it was really missing was a decent defense system. I’m talking missile launchers, laser guns, and rockets. These things never helped the Japanese military, but they could at least slow Godzilla down. I was still trying to figure out a way to approach my landlord about these renovations.

I’m not crazy. Really, I’m not. If you think about it, being afraid of Godzilla isn’t all that weird compared to someone who is afraid of something wacky, like the number eight. I mean, think about it here. Godzilla is a freakin’ five hundred foot-tall lizard who can breathe atomic fire and smash buildings flat. What’s not to be afraid of? And unlike other people with wacky fears, mine actually has a cause.

You see, Godzilla betrayed me. Really, he did. I loved him. He was my childhood hero. My dad skipped out on us when I was five, so in a way, he served as my father figure. I saw my first Godzilla movie when I was four years old. I remember how Godzilla saved Japan from some evil smog monster from outer space. My mother was more than happy to indulge my newfound interest. Every weekend, we’d go to the video store and rent a Godzilla movie. I watched him battle such evil monsters as King Ghidrah, Megalon, the Sea Monster, and even the deadly MechaGodzilla. He always won. He always saved Japan. He even had a son named Minya and Godzilla taught him how to breathe fire. My whole room was covered in Godzilla posters, toys, and comic books. I wore a pair of Godzilla underoos to school everyday until kindergarten. My mom even bought me an iguana, which I named Godzilla, of course.

There was only one movie at the video store that I never saw. It was the very first Godzilla movie. I longed to see the origin story of my dear hero, but it was always out. It was almost two years before I was able to see it. I remember how I ran home in the pouring rain. As soon as I got inside, I popped the tape in the VCR and began to watch.

What I saw horrified me. This was not the Godzilla I knew and loved. This monster was trying to destroy Tokyo. Tears formed in my eyes, but I forced myself to watch the rest, to find the truth. Godzilla had lied to me, betrayed me. He was no hero. He was a villain.

I had trouble sleeping that night. I tossed and turned and fretted for hours before I fell into an uneasy sleep. That night, I must’ve forgotten to lock my pet Godzilla in his cage. He somehow managed to crawl out and made his way onto my bed. He crawled on to my leg, up my stomach, and stopped on my chest. I woke up and saw him sitting on my chest. I looked in his eyes. He seemed manic, crazed. With a quick snap, he clamped his razor sharp teeth on my nose. I began to scream bloody murder, trying to pull him off of me.

I scrambled over to my work desk. I had been working on building a Godzilla model, and I knew my Exacto knife was there somewhere. Although tears blurred my eyes, I finally found it. I slashed Godzilla across his nose. He let go and dropped to the ground. Then he skittered across the floor and escaped out the window. To this day, I still have that scar across my nose.

With a sigh, I began to get ready for my date. I tried to pump myself up, to make myself not be afraid. I told myself that Godzilla would not show up. I couldn’t believe it though. I knew that if I ever went to a city, he would inevitably show up. Godzilla always attacked cities. I couldn’t exactly call and cancel the date either. I forgot to get her number. It would be rude to just stand her up. Plus, she was hot. Male biology always had a way of overcoming even your most primal fears.

With a sigh, I began to get ready for the date. I put on a pair of khaki boot-cut pants and a stylish black button-up shirt. Hey, this is Miami, style is everything. I grabbed some mousse and spread some throughout my short, black hair. I messed it up and let it fall whatever way it wanted. I finished with a quick spray of cologne.

I flicked the TV on as I began to clean up a little bit. I had a few minutes to kill. I picked up some of my dirty clothes as I half-listened to the news anchor, "Scientists are still baffled about why so many giant squid are washing ashore. They have never seen so many of them at one time. Local marine biologists believe that something must be scaring them, causing them to enter shallower waters. To add to the mystery, some of the squid appear to be suffering from radiation damage." For some reason, this seemed important, but I was too distracted to think further about it. I looked down at my watch and saw it was time to go. With a deep breath, I walked out the door.

I had to wait a couple minutes for Tina to show up. She had on a khaki skirt and some white, puffy shirt. It almost reminded me of those shirts that you see on paintings of those prissy French guys from the 1700s, but this one actually looked good on her. We smiled and said hello and I called for a cab.

The cab ride over was pretty uneventful. We talked to each other a little bit more, finding more out about each other. We were actually clicking pretty well. She almost made me forget about why my hands were trembling like an alcoholic in need of a drink.

Almost.

There was always that nervous, almost exciting, sensation of fear in my stomach. I had the cabbie drop us off in the Marina district. I’d heard about a good seafood restaurant and it was only a short walk from here.

With a grin, I linked my arm with hers and began to stroll down to the restaurant. Along the way, various merchants tried to sell us their wares. One guy had a whole table full of fake Rolexes. Another was selling knockoff designer sunglasses. One a few feet down seemed to be selling cheap toys of some sort. As we walked by, something small and green walked in front of me. It was vaguely dinosaur-like, with glowing eyes and blue fins going down its back. I jumped back and kicked it by instinct. The miniature Godzilla sailed fifty feet through the air, barely missing an older couple out for a walk.

"Used to play soccer back in high school," I tried to explain. "Coaches had me so conditioned to kick anything that landed in front of me." Apparently, she found this funny so she started cracking up. Ok, so maybe it isn’t good to start out a relationship with lies, but this was just a little one. What was I supposed to tell her? I was deathly afraid of Godzilla, something I’d only seen on TV? I sheepishly paid the vendor and we continued on the way to the restaurant.

We finally reached the restaurant and were seated. Tina requested a table on the pier, which jutted out into the bay. This made me a little bit nervous. You see, whenever Godzilla came to attack a city, he always emerged from the bay and trudged his way toward shore. I tried to swallow my fear as I took my seat. We continued talking and flirting as we tried to figure out what we wanted to eat.

"Blech, calamari," she said in disgust. "Who would want to eat squid?" Then she flashed me a smile. She had a really cute smile. Perfect teeth, luscious lips. It almost distracted me from my worries.

Suddenly, something clicked in my mind. Who would eat squid? Godzilla would. Especially giant squid who were washing ashore with traces of radioactivity.

Almost as if on cue, a tremor began to rumble the pier. Everyone looked around nervously. Tina seemed a little worried. "Don’t worry, probably just an earthquake," I said, hoping to reassure myself as much as her. She seemed to feel a little bit better. Then, about two hundred yards out to sea, the ocean began to froth and bubble.

A greenish-grey body shot up from the water. I could only see it from the torso-up. Its giant head had jaws full of razor sharp teeth. Bluish-green plates trailed down its backbone. Its arms were powerful and armed with sharp claws. It let out a tremendous roar, sounding like some ancient god rising from its prison. It was him. Godzilla was here. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and my limbs felt like mashed potatoes. Everyone gasped in astonishment and went to the railing to get a closer look. "The fools," I thought to myself. "Don’t they realize that Godzilla is here to destroy us all?"

Then I saw something huge skimming across the surface of the water, bouncing across the waves like a jet ski. With frightening speed, it launched out of the water like a missile, propelling itself toward Godzilla. As it approached, Godzilla brought both hands over his head and bashed them into his assailant, smashing it back into the water. Just as quickly, a tentacle lashed out like a whip, wrapping around Godzilla’s hand. The creature hauled itself to the surface of the water, trying to pull Godzilla’s hand toward its cavernous mouth. I could see Godzilla’s opponent now. It was a giant squid, but it was far larger than any recorded by science. From the tip of its head to its tentacles, it must’ve been as large as Godzilla.

Godzilla fought with all his strength to keep his hand away from the squid’s powerful beak, but it was a losing battle. Instead, he brought his head down and snapped his jaws on the tentacle. They passed right through, ripping the tentacle off. The squid roared in pain and spat out a thick, black oil in retaliation. Blinded by this oil, Godzilla let out his trademark roar and tried to wipe the oil from his face. The squid pressed its advantage, leaping at Godzilla and using its tentacles as clubs to strike at Godzilla’s back. Still blinded, Godzilla grabbed a tentacle and braced his other hand against the squid’s body. He pulled with all his might and the tentacle tore off. He then ducked his head under water to wash the oil off.

The squid shrieked in pain and retreated. Godzilla growled with satisfaction and watched his foe. The squid seemed to be beaten. Slowly, the plates on his back began to glow. Then, he tilted his head back and launched blue fire from his mouth. This atomic fire hit the squid dead center. It began to glow, brighter and brighter. Finally, the squid exploded, launching squid guts in all directions. The group of people closest to the railing were covered in gore and half a tentacle landed barely twenty feet in front of them.

I braced myself. Surely, Godzilla would come forward now and destroy Miami, killing all its inhabitants. I would be dead, eaten or stomped or buried by tons of debris or burned by radioactive flame or trampled under a car or rolled over by a tank or blown up by a missile launched from a plane.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about this.

I reached over and grabbed Tina by the small of her back. I pulled her close to me and kissed her, long and hard. If I was going to die, at least I was going to die a happy man. The kiss seemed to last an eternity. At last, we both stopped and came back for air.

"Well," she said. We both cracked up laughing. Mine was the cheerful, worry-less laugher of a man who was certain of his doom. She just seemed amused and relieved. I looked out to sea and I was shocked. Godzilla was leaving, submerging underwater. Only the back of his head was visible now. I was stunned. Why did he spare the city? Why wasn’t he devouring me right now? Then it dawned on me. Maybe Godzilla wasn’t evil, maybe he wasn’t out to kill me.

Confused, I turned to Tina. "Well, that was an interesting first date. I say we go home and rent a movie. Maybe we can watch two giant monsters battling each other to death from the safety of my living room," I said with a wry grin. I expected Tina to react with amusement, but in her eyes, I saw only terror. I felt another tremor, then heard a roar, higher and less powerful than Godzilla’s. I spun around, facing toward the city.

A giant lizard leapt down from one of the skyscrapers. This one was leaner than Godzilla. Its jaws were longer, its limbs slimmer. Its skin was a light green color and darker green spikes ran down its back. It ran towards us and as it got closer, I saw it. A prominent scar across its snout. I touched my own scar in realization.

This was my Godzilla, the iguana who bit me in the middle of the night. It still had the same crazy look in its eyes. As it got closer, it recognized me too. It snarled at me and began to charge.

I grabbed Tina’s hand and led her back towards the city. "Follow me," I said, my mind trying to find a way to escape. It never occurred to me to think about how my iguana grew to such a monstrous size. Must’ve somehow wandered into a nuclear reactor or something. We ran between its legs and back into the streets. I could feel it turn around as its feet pounded the pavement, running back towards us. I led Tina down the street and turned to the right. An abandoned trolley was sitting in the middle of the road.

I pulled her in and we laid down, trying to hide. I looked out the window and saw a massive green leg. I could hear the beast’s nostrils flaring, trying to follow our scent. It lowered its head and looked into the window. I tried to duck down under a seat, but I knew it saw me. I could feel the monster lift the trolley up, no doubt preparing to put it in its mouth. "I’m sorry," I told Tina, certain that we were going to die. I held her close and we both began to cry. "We should have stayed home, none of this would’ve happened."

Then I heard it. A roar more powerful than the iguana’s, more noble in some indescribable way. I saw a mighty fist fly past the trolley window and I heard the iguana grunt in pain. Godzilla was here, here to rescue us. My heart soared as I realized that Godzilla really was a hero.

My hero.

I felt the trolley begin to fall and I was certain that I was going to plummet to my death. Instead, Tina and I were jerked toward the trolley ceiling as something caught us. I could see Godzilla’s fingers just outside the trolley window as he gently lowered us back to the street. I grabbed Tina’s hand and pulled her to a safer spot, where we could watch the fight.

Recovering from the punch, the iguana scrambled to its feet and leapt at Godzilla. The iguana slammed into Godzilla, sending both giants falling to the street. The iguana went for a quick snap at Godzilla’s neck, but he caught it just in time. Then he brought one foot up and against the iguana’s belly and kicked with all his might. The iguana soared backwards through the air and smashed into a building. Cement began to crumble and fall off. Luckily, the building seemed to be evacuated. Godzilla approached the iguana and slammed his thick tail into it. The iguana was hurled through the building, as concrete began to fall everywhere. The iguana managed to push itself up, dust falling from its back. Again, it leapt at Godzilla, trying to close its jaws around his neck.

Godzilla caught the iguana by the jaws, one hand on the upper jaw, one hand on the lower. Then he quickly pushed each side apart. The iguana shrieked as its jaws broke with a snap. Godzilla then swept the creature’s legs out from under it with a strike from his tail. He approached the fallen beast and grabbed its neck. With a quick snap, he broke its neck and the iguana breathed no more.

Godzilla then approached us. I felt Tina jump back in terror, but for once, I felt no fear. He managed to lower himself down, until he was at eye level with me.

I patted his snout and whispered, "I’m sorry I doubted you. Thank you, old friend." I doubted he understood English, but he seemed to get the message. He gave me a quick nod, then headed back out to sea.

I watched him until he disappeared beneath the ocean.

I felt Tina come up behind me and wrap her arms around me. "Come on, let’s go home," she whispered in my ear. I couldn’t help but grin. It ended up being a great day. I got the girl, laid some old demons to rest, and became reacquainted with an old friend. As we walked home, I made a note to rent Godzilla Vs. The Three Headed Monster again. Maybe Tina would enjoy it too.