Abandoned Barrier

Every now and then I've revisited my barrier, but I'm careful about what I do, and I am careful to keep it intact. For if that barrier were to be cut down, my life would flood with problems and despairs and ideas that I never want to experience. There are just some things that I will never do. I've come very close, and it almost scares me sometimes, but my common sense always pulls me out of it. And there is always that standing worry that if I were to let it all go, that some things in my life would never return to normal. If I ever were to get too close to my impulses- what would happen? If I were to draw a knife across my fair skin, then would it all come loose? Would there be no barrier?