Looking for Love
By Ani

Author's Note: It was originally in Japanese, the conversations. But when I asked a friend to read it it didn't make sense so I just changed it to English, but some simple words that I couldn't be bothered changing like thank you and that are still in there.

I never really knew what it was like to feel half dead. How come I feel so worthless? How come I feel so tired, so lifeless, a withering leaf blown away the wind? Why do I feel so empty inside? When I was five, I had lost my mother in a plane crash. I had survived. Mom had told me to go to the back of the plane but I refused to leave her. She was pregnant with my baby sister. While we were arguing, we heard some explosions near the front of the plane and she kneeled down to protect me from the blast. She had been severely wounded and blacked out.

I had pulled her to the back and we just survived the crash. Before she had died, she went in labour, and I had a little sister.

The years have passed but I still remember her last words as if it were said just yesterday. "Ryoko, Nadeshiko-chan is so small. She's going to need a lot of help. Because you're so much bigger and wiser than Nadeshiko-chan is, she's going to depend on you to take care of her. Remember that I love you both very much."

Did I lose more then I thought? Something inside me was lost. Something had died. And the thing was, I didn't try to get it back. I feel so lonely. I want to go home. Living in Japan had been nerve wrecking. I knew how to speak Japanese, but I longed for a chance to speak my best language. I want the comforts of family. I had never realized how important it was until now. Never had I felt so alone, without any support. Without any support. I was getting seriously homesick. I wanted my mother, as all children do. I wanted my family.

****

A young male figure came into view. His head was down, his hands in his pockets and his coat flapping around in the wind. It was around five in the evening and it had been raining for four days now. Nonstop. He sighed miserably. It had been his mother's thirteenth anniversary. Death anniversary. His thoughts were wandering around and rushing his mind. He sat down on one of the park benches, and tried to gather his thoughts. All he wanted to do was be young and carefree like his childhood years. And maybe, just maybe he wanted his mother to still be alive.

He gingerly touched the winkles that had been formed through the many years of work and responsibility. He longed to smile again and to have grown up in a world with. with less obligations. He stood up and walked through the rain home. The home which he and his sister had taken up to call their own.

She would be home now. Probably waiting for him and worrying. She was like that. Nadeshiko reminded him of their mother. She was always being concerned of others, she had always had a cute smile on her face and was as naïve as can be. In other words she was the complete opposite of her brother. He was overprotective, wise and always had a serious and grim look on his face. He didn't want to lose her, just how he... they lose their mother.

He walked up the path of trees that lined the road. He looked up into the sky and thought of his mother as an angel looking down on them. He enjoyed the thought and bumped into someone. Being the tall person that he had become, he had stayed standing. He looked down to see a young woman, shuffling around picking up her books and papers, muttering to herself.

He saw this and immediately bent down and helped her. She looked at him startled at first and continued picking the books up. Unconsciously they both went for the last book on the floor, and as if on purpose their hands touched. Both of their hearts raced and quickly drew back. He stood up and let her pick the last book up. She stood up and smiled numbly. He looked down onto her and quickly muttered his sorry and walked around her home.

She stood there stunned for she had never seen someone so. so. so serious and introvert. She saw sadness and somewhere. he had been deprived of something. something important. She gathered up all of her nerve and turned around raced after him, quickly she shouted "Hey!" and he turned around with a surprised look on his face.

****

I turned around and looked at the young lady who had apparently shouted 'Hey!' I stopped and stared at her for a while. She was panting. After a few deep breaths, she looked up at me and smiled as warm as the summer sun. I found myself staring deep into her eyes. Her eyes were misty pools of grey, with little tints of gold, full of warmth and with a loving aura. They had little halos around the pupils as she looked up at an angle to the sky. Her bell-like voice shook me out of the trance that she had me in. "Hi."

I looked at her concerned expression and wondered what I had done wrong to cause that look of concern. The words came out of my mouth before I had even comprehended them in my mind. "Yes? Is there something wrong?" I caught myself just as I finished the sentence. She widened her smile and showed-off her beautiful white teeth "No, I'm fine. I didn't get a chance to thank you for helping me there earlier on." She held her hand out. "Yoshiyu Mizuki. And you are?" I held my hand out as well and gave her hand a light squeeze and pulled back. "Liang Ryoko I'm really sorry but I'm in a rush." I gave her a slight wave and walked home. I had a feeling that I was going to see her again. "Sayonara."

****

I looked after him. Hmm. Liang. That name sounded familiar. Somehow. I wanted to chase after him and ask him to share me his problems. And for me to tell him mine. I turned around and headed to my apartment. But it was so unlike me to do so. I furrowed my eyebrows and pursed my lips into a frown. I mean we don't even know each other. I wish I could see him again. I stopped in front of my door and balanced my books on my knee. I took my keys out and tried to get them into the keyhole. I opened the door and went in. I shook my head a bit and sighed. Oh well.

****

In an apartment, a young lady around her early teen years steadily paced herself around the living room back and forwards. It was nicely furnished with the traditional dark oak and was full of dark professional colours mostly containing of dark shades of blue, gray and green. The young lady was getting worried for her brother. He was never late. She had blue eyes. Blue eyes that could turn from the lightest summer blue sky to the coldest stormy waters. Right now they were the stormy kind. She had light honey coloured and a not so straight but not so wavy kind of hair. Even for a young age, she had matured greatly and was distant in her own world. She sat down on the couch and waited. Shortly she was fast asleep on the couch.

****

I walked up to the apartment and opened the door with my key. They had given me their spare key incase one of them had forgotten and needed to get in. I knew Shi-chan and Ryo-san was home by now so I walked in. "Konnichiwa!" I raised an eyebrow and looked around. No one was here. I looked in the kitchen and knocked on the doors of their rooms. No one. I went over to the couch to wait. As I bent down to wait, I saw Nadeshiko lying there innocently and I knew she had been waiting for her brother. I sighed and bent over and lifted Nadeshiko's slight frame into my arms and carried her to her room.

I sighed as I laid her sleeping figure upon her bed. I pulled off her shoes, one by one. And I brought the covers up around her shoulders. I looked at her. Please take care of yourself, for me, Nadeshiko. I smiled and kissed her forehead.

****

FLASHBACK

It was the last I would see of him... The last I would hear his tender and reassuring words of wisdom. We stood by the window overseeing the airplanes land and arrive. They had announced his plane's departure and were saying our last goodbyes. We stood there by each other as I had my head bent and thought of the wisest words that I had learnt from him. But instead he smiled and gently placed his hand over my shoulder. I looked up to see his warm smile and wise expression. The words swept out of my mouth before I really comprehended them. After the words came out a wave of heat swept over my face and I knew that it was enough for him to cry. He smiled and replied, "I wish you enough too my little daisy." And with that we hugged each other and he walked off into the gate.

He was like a father to me but I knew that I would soon have to let go of my spoilt and careless ways, to live on my own and become a woman.

END FLASHBACK

****

Teacher..." I murmured, half in a trance and half asleep. Just then, darkness swirled around my eyes, and then I knew I was in a dream. I was back in the mansion, back in China. I smiled the first real smile of joy when I saw mother and father at the door, their arms spread apart inviting me to leap forwards and hug them. As soon as I had done that, everything disappeared and I found myself alone. It broke my heart and I cried and regretted coming here, to Japan. I cursed and cursed and I found HIM standing in front of me with a sword, dressed in, was seemed to be, black and red robes similar to the family's. Mother and father were in front of him holding their hands together and smiled at me numbly. I screamed out "NO!" and returned to the waking world.

I shot up and opened my eyes wanting the nightmare to end. Or was it a memory? I couldn't remember whether or not I had imagined or thought this to be real. I looked around me and found myself in the Liang Apartment. I shook my head and held my head that was tingling with pain and confusion. "Hey, Chiharu you ok?" I looked in the direction of Kasuki who was currently standing over the stove cooking something. "Kasuki-san what am I doing here?" He put the flame down and looked at me. "I found you on the floor on my way back to the apartment. I went to get some ingredients I needed to cook dinner. So I carried you back here. Didn't know where you lived and I didn't want to look for your keys. And that's the whole story I'm afraid." "Arigato gozaimasu Kasuki but I had better get going." "Ok... if thats what you want sure you'll be ok?" "Yeah arigato again." And I left the apartment and headed to my own.