Below the Surface

I wonder what the neighbors would do

if I ran naked down our street at high noon

laughing.

What would they think

if they knew that I sometimes get the urge

to dance a jig during town council

or throw a pie in the principal's face

at a PTO meeting?

Would anyone blink?

What if I went home one day to the wrong cookie-cutter house

to someone else's Mattel-issued husband?

Would he notice

or would I snicker in solitude at my silly prank?

I can't be alone in needing a change

a jolt

a test to find out if I'm still alive.

Maybe I should drink myself stupid in some dingy bar

and go home with a stranger

just to check my pulse.

I'm ready to stand out from the crowd

raise some eyebrows

and offend a few good people

by standing up for something

anything.

But what?

I've forgotten what I believe in.