Ballad of Knowing Whose Fault It Was, a Song fanfic

THE BALLAD OF KNOWING WHOSE FAULT IT WAS
*sighs* Just when I thought I understood my brain, it gives me something like this. Lupa and Vladimir relate the tale of their first meeting…but just whose fault was it?! Goes to a good ol' country-music ballad tune. Probably with a violin. ^_^

Vladimir: I remember the day it all started

Was way back in year ninety-one

She was crazy and wild

Lupa: *crossly* I was virgin and mild!

Vladimir: *pointedly* - she was slinging a Derringer gun.

Lupa: I was dressing with flair

Wearing flowers in my hair

And I knew he was falling for me

Vladimir: It started to rankle

When she stuck out her ankle

And my forehead smacked into a tree.

Chorus: She says that he fell
He maintains he was tripped
But it seems pretty clear to them now

Vladimir: As I lay in the dirt

I could see up her -

Lupa: Hey!

Vladimir: So she trod on my fingers, the cow.

Lupa: He rose, full of passion -

Vladimir: Well, after a fashion!

I was dying to slap her fat face.

Lupa: But when struggling to rise

He fell over my thighs

And he ended up in my embrace.

Vladimir: (Oh, give me strength…!)

Chorus: She says that he fell
He maintains he was tripped
But none of it's taken to heart

Vladimir: While I strove to get loose

Lupa: *indignant* He grabbed my caboose!

Vladimir: In your dreams you ridiculous tart -

Lupa: Still I chose to forgive

Vladimir: *charitably* For you wanted to live.

Lupa: And we're both still together today

Vladimir: We still have the odd fight

Over who's in the right

Lupa: But I pretty much get my own way.

Chorus: She says that he fell
He maintains he was tripped
But the moral is pretty damn clear

Vladimir: Just make sure that you run

From a girl with a gun -

Lupa: And guard for attacks from the rear.

This is dedicated to all those people who have ever said to me, full of enthusiasm: "Lupa and Vladimir should get married!!!". See? It's just a fundamentally baaaaad idea. ;)

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