Chapter 1

Dazelix awoke to the loud murmurs of Rancid. “Turn it down.” He groaned.

Guy Relae laughed. “Since when don’t you like music loud?”

“Since I woke up.”

Guy picked up one of Dazelix’s Doc Martins and threw it at him, hitting him in the head. Dazelix buried his head in the pillow nearby.

Guy walked over to the CD player and turned it up even louder.

“If I hear ‘Ruby Soho’ one more time, I’m gonna hit you somewhere lower than the head with this.” Dazelix picked up the shoe and threw it back at Guy. Guy bit his lip and relentlessly turned down the music.

“You have to wake up, Daze!” Guy said.

Dazelix barely by choice rolled out of bed. Guy was putting on his black converses and some jeans. Dazelix walked in his boxers over to Guy and remarked with a yawn “Give me back my shoe.”

Guy followed the order and gave him the shoe. He didn’t wish to push Dazelix any more than he already had in fear of Dazelix’s threat becoming reality.

Dazelix put on a black pair of pants and his Floggin’ Molly shirt. He sat down on the bed to lace up his Docs. His hair was messy, but he didn’t care. The gel from yesterday was still in, so he didn’t have to re-spike it. He just fooled with it a bit so that it would stay up. Guy laughed at him. “You look like a squirrel when you mess with your hair!”

Dazelix sarcastically smiled and then went back to his morning look. “You’re the one who has half of his hair missing.”

Guy blew on his bangs, which were normally spiked up with the rest of the mohawk. “I guess I need a haircut.”

“You always need a haircut.” Dazelix said as he walked into the bathroom.

The room was small, consisting of a couch, bed, desk, small television, and five-disc changer. There was also a bathroom, of course. Dazelix, Guy, and Reeze had gotten money from gigs to rent an apartment. It was cheap and the three went on and off using it. But, normally one or two of them slept there. Normally when they had had a late show they all crashed at the apartment. Dazelix liked it there. He could get away from his drunken mother, who would jump at any chance to make Dazelix’s life miserable. Guy really just liked the idea of having another place to stay besides home. And Reeze only used the room when he needed to. Other people were in and out of it also. Often, Guy’s girlfriend Trish slept there. Reeze and his friendly female had recently broken up…so there was no feminine company for Reeze in the apartment. Dazelix was single. He always had been. Guy would constantly bug him about it, but Dazelix just ignored him. He had enough to think about. He found no reason to have girls on top of it all. And besides, it took him forever to warm to anyone…girls especially. He was the type of guy that once you got to know him, he was dealable. But, before then…you’d be lucky to get a single word out of him!

Dazelix was on his way to school. He walked the two miles everyday. He didn’t have a choice. You couldn’t drop out at this school. They had changed the requirements. He hated it. He had to deal with it...or did he? Thoughts of ending his life ran through his head. He couldn’t. Not with the band and all. What if they had their big break soon? It was too soon.

He finally reached the school building and sighed. Guy and Reeze were there waiting for him outside.

“Dude, where were you?” Reeze asked.

“What do you mean? I was walking.”

“No, dude. I mean, you were late…we stopped and waited for you but you never came.”

Dazelix nodded. “I wasn’t at Mom’s, I was at the room.”

Guy smirked. “Ah ha! That makes sense! Wait…is it still a mess, or did you have time to clean it?”

“Nah, It’s messy as always!”

This useless conversation was about as interesting as the conversations had been getting lately. Dazelix was getting stressed about his…problem. He thought that he should tell them, but it would make them think he was crazy…insane…more than they already did. This problem wasn’t of new origin…he had had it since he was young. But, he couldn’t tell them. He had tried to keep to himself, and things with his mom had been rough. Ever since she met her new boyfriend/make out friend, she had been coming home “out of it” often. Her boyfriend had been staying at the house, and two drunken adults never really worked for Dazelix. His mother was enough, but a guy who could kill Daze with a single punch…drunk…Dazelix shook off the thought.

They all went to first period. It was boring and rather long. But, mostly boring. Second period was the same…and third, fourth and fifth. Now, sixth period was interesting…somewhat. They had a test, but they most probably failed. At least it wasn’t lecturing about useless topics. Seventh period went by quickly, for sleeping normally does go by quickly. And, eighth period was just wake up time. But, then…Dazelix realized that school was over. He didn’t want school to be over. He wanted to stay away from home forever. He did. He wanted to be alone…with his thoughts, forever. He’s only safe there…alone...with it.

Dazelix walked back to the apartment. As he walked in, he looked at the mess surrounding him. He sighed and walked over to the disc changer and put on his Further Seems Forever CD. He began to lip the words and started to clear off the floor of the messy room. It was covered with books, CDs, music, and other things of the sort. He picked up some magazines and threw them in a pile under the bed. He put the CDs one by one in their cases. He came across the Unsung Zeros CD and put that in, instead of Further Seems Forever. He cleared off the desk, and made the bed. After about an hour of cleaning and thinking, he stepped back against the door to look at his work. He knew the room was going to get messy again. But, he had nothing else to do, and cleaning might keep things off his mind.

Are you there? The voice asked.

Yes. Dazelix responded in his head.

How was your day?

The voice laughed, a cheerful laugh. How’s your mom?

Fine. Dazelix said to the voice in his head.

What are you listening to? I can almost hear it. The voice said.

Sure. Dazelix responded insincerely.

Oh crap The voice stopped.

Dazelix heard the door open in his thoughts and almost pictured a man walk in, a happy man, a loyal man. His mind trailed along with the voice’s. Suddenly, the connection was broken. What happened? Dazelix tried to connect. It was no use. It was time for the voice to proceed with other activities.

Dazelix lied down on the bed and banged his head against the pillow. He was crazy. He had to be. Hearing voices…that has to be a result of insanity. He heard this voice every night, every day, every year…all the time. He had grown up with this voice. Everything that happened to the voice happened to him.

The voice understood him…better than any one else did. The voice knew all of his thoughts, all of his dreams, all of his fears, and all of him. Yet, it did not know his name, his location, anything else of the sort. The connection never held during times that were to reveal his true identity.

He knew he was crazy. This voice is something he probably invented to keep him alive. Maybe he just made himself a friend to get him through the lonely days. But he was never alone. He always had this voice to talk to. And he wanted that…but now, the voice to talk to was away. He felt the darkness coming in, the depression coming back, the tears coming home.

He breathed in and grabbed the sheets at his chest. He pulled them to his chin and turned to his side.

Come back. He thought. Come back. Please come back.

Dazelix heard no response. I’m crazy. I have to be. Just shut up, Daze. Shut the hell up. He felt tears run down his cheek. He gripped tighter to the sheets. You’re not worth tears, Dazelix. You’re not worth it. You’re not worth anything. He cried himself to sleep, with out the voice, without his sanity. He cried himself to peace, until the nightmares came, as they never failed to.