I watch impatiently as the
young man seals the envelope and then places it propped up on his desk. If I'd
known he was going to take so long, I would have let one of my subordinates do
this. It's too late now, though. If I left, the kid might actually get to it
while I'm gone and then there'd be big trouble. I just had to get all nostalgic
for the good old days, and decide to do some grunt work.
"I'm sorry," the boy whispers, drawing my attention back to him. He picks up
the gun that had been laying innocently on his desk while he wrote his letter.
Releasing the safety, he opens his mouth and slides the barrel in, closing his
eyes as it comes to rest against his tongue. Taking a deep breath, he pulls the
"About fucking time," I mutter, stepping out of the shadows as the body hits
the floor. "Took you long enough, kid."
The boy stares at his body wide-eyed. "Am I dead?" he asks softly.
Rolling my eyes, I grab his arm and begin pulling him after me. "You seem
surprised, sport. Didn't you know that's what would happen when you blew the
back of your head off?" The boy stands docilely as I open a gate.
"Are you Death?" he asks, staring at me now. "You don't look like Death."
"Of course I'm Death." I snap, yanking him through the portal. "And what the
hell am I supposed to look like?" Damn mortals, always full of stupid ideas.
This is why I quit moving souls.
"Aren't you supposed to be wearing black and carrying a huge scythe or
something?" The little twit's confused now, probably thinks he's dreaming.
"Listen, kid, I paid eighty dollars for these pants, and I'm going to fucking
wear them whenever I damn well please." I reply, leading him down a set of
"But why are you wearing a pink shirt?" he asks, reaching out to finger my
"Don't touch me." I growl, yanking him forward when we reach a door. "And I
like this shirt. You gotta problem with my shirt?" Without waiting for an
answer, I open the door and shove him through. "Welcome to the afterlife,
twerp!" I yell, slamming it behind him.
"I told you it was a bad idea," a soft voice states from behind me. "You
should've just let the sector demon do it."
"Can it, Eve." I order, shoving past her. "I was tired of sitting around, and
it's been so long since I've moved a soul. How was I supposed to know the kid
was going to annoy me?"
She falls in step beside me, smirking. "The fact that everyone annoys you
should have been a big clue," she replies, hooking her arm around mine and
leaning her head on my shoulder. "Except for me of course," she says sweetly.
I snort. "Yeah, right." I say, pushing her off me. "Anything happen while I was
She shrugs gracefully. "Bunch of people died."