The Three Me's

A/N (Or pre-story rambling): K-chan: Ah hah. well I was finally coerced into writing a fic-

Yaleea: [It's a story, this isn't fanfiction! Idiot.]

K-chan: 'Right, a story about the freeloaders that live in my head.'

Yaleea: *thwaps K-chan*

Kaizer: {Aw you don't mean that! You love us, don't you Kaaaaaaayyyyy
Chaaaaaaaannnn????? Teehee!!}

K-chan: *sighs and rubs temples* 'a word of advice, never create
characters based on facets of your personality. If you're foolish
enough to do that. have them killed off at the earliest opportunity!'

Yaleea: *Thwaps K-chan again*

K-chan: 'Would you bloody stop doing that???? *rubs head* But
seriously, one day you'll be sitting on the train thinking about the
totally cool character that's supposed to be your hypo side
personified then. BAM! There they are running down the istle riding a
hobbyhorse and waving a spangly cowboy hat.'

Kaizer: {Hee hee! That was fun! You should have seen your face, Kodak
moment!}

Yaleea: *glares at K-chan* Hn, [you kneed professional help.]

K-chan: 'GRRRR!!! I can't!! They'd lock me up and then I couldn't
write any of my fic's! A plague on you and your household!'

Yaleea: *Is unimpressed* [That would be your family, being that we are
a part of your psyche and the only reason that we exist is the mear
fact that you willed us into being. That also argues that-]

Kaizer: {I don't understand, hee hee!}

K-chan: 'I hate you. Both of you.'

I own all the characters in this story, save for Sedra Wilder, who belongs to Phae-chan. As always, this one is for you.

1. The place I feel I should begin

I'll kill them!

Patience, you'll get your chance.

Promise?

Of course. You know I'd do any thing for you.

I love you.

Yes, you do.

Tell me how we'll do it.

+++++

Hi there, my name is Kaylee Chase. I'm 21, 5.2 feet tall (eek, short!) with long blond hair and green eyes. This might sound a bit strange, but there're three of me. And I don't mean clones or something. What I'm talking about is that there are two extra people that live in my head, kind of like a split personality.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking- "psycho!" But hey, they say there's a thin line between genius and insanity. So humor me, I'm close to being a frikin' genius!

My close friends know, not that I had to tell them. most of my friends are pretty intelligent and being that one of my 'personalities' is a psychotic super villain I guess that's sort of hard to miss.

Any way, the personalities, or Me's as I call them. Well, there's the actual me, Kaylee; the girl who pretty much runs the show. I control the body because, to be honest, it's mine.

Then there's Sune Yaleea, her last name is actually Sune but she says it first because she's Japanese; she's really smart, but doesn't have very good people skills, cause the only person she's ever nice to is me. She doesn't control the body very often, only if I'm in danger or if I ask her to. She's pretty weird though, Lee can knock out a guy twice my size with one punch and once had a conversation with my best friend Sedra on the most sufficient way to defuse a bomb; don't ask me how either of them know anything about bombs!

And finally there's The Kaizer. Hell, I don't know what her real name is, or even if she has one. While Lee is weird, The Kaizer is a damnable little freak! She's not exactly evil, but she's not exactly good either. The Kaizer often takes control when I'm board because that's when I start to daydream (a terrible habit of mine) so she catches me off guard. Sometimes she takes control of the body to help some old lady cross the street, But usually She wants to hijack a bus and drive it off a cliff for sheer entertainment value. Or rob a bank so she has enough loose change to play the crane machine for 48 hours. Apparently she wants to be the first evil person to successfully take over the world; when asked why she responded "Its tradition! Evil has always aspired for world domination; look at Pinky and the Brain!"

Now we take a moment to reflect on the fact that a crazed Megalomaniac, who lives in a collage students head, along with some sort of terrorist finds inspiration for her wicked schemes by watching Warner Brothers 'Pinky and the Brain'.

If you aren't trembling in fear you should be.

So here it is in a nutshell. I'm the nice, shy, rational, normal one; Lee is the self defense mechanism and The Kaizer is the insane, loud one.

There is actually another 'person' in my head, but she comes and goes as she pleases and I never let my guard down when she's around.

+++++

I'm in my final class for the day and am finding it rather dull. I was tempted to just get up and leave but there was only ten minutes to go. I sigh and idly doodle picture on my notebook.

Abruptly a folded piece of paper is thrust in front of me. I knew strait away that it came from Sedra, the neat cursive was a dead give away.

'Board?' It read. 'Don't worry and don't let the Kaizer loose. We're all going to the mall after Hell is out. Kenshi will be there. You cuming?'

I blush at the mention of my crush and Yaleea snorts in disgust at Sedra's innuendo.

[That wretch has no shame!] Sneered my braided personality.

'Aw, come on Lee. We all know you've got the hot's for Sed. You love it when she throws herself at you!' I tease, because it's true. Stoic Lee has the biggest crush on my risqué best friend; she also has the worst case of denial I've ever seen.

{Hey! Let's rip off our clothes and throw ourselves at Sed in the middle of the mall!} Exclaims The Kaizer happily. {Or I could pretend to be Lee-chan and seduce her! Yeah! That sounds like fun!}

[You'll do no such thing!] snarled Lee. [and seduction? The most you'd have to do is peel off a sock and the little tramp would be humping your leg!]

You see what I mean? Total denial.

[I am NOT in Denial!]

{He he! Lee wants to have hot steamy lesbian sex with Sedra!}

[I don't want lesbian sex with ANYONE!] she spluttered furiously.

{Yaleea and Sedra sitting in a tree, K. I. S. S. I. N. G.}

I sigh and bury my face in my hands. Why me? No one else I know has to put up with this. Why do I have two people in my head that always rub each other the wrong way?

{Heh heh! Kay is naughty!}

[Grrrr you're disgusting!]

+++++

"Rough day?" Asked Sedra. She smiled coyly and twirled a strand of deep chocolate hair around a finger. "Hi Lee-chan, were you and Kai fighting again?"

Sedra is my best friend and has been since year seven. She's a bit taller than me, around 5 ft.3 with thick wavy chocolate coloured hair and platinum blond streaks at the front. Most people think that she bleached them that colour and she never corrects them, but the truth is that Sedra came from an abusive family and I'm not sure in the details, but she's got a scar under her hair and when her fringe grows it has no pigmentation.

I think that's one of the reasons Lee likes her, she's not as weak or as shallow as she lets on.

I smiled a Lee's flustered silence. "Yes, they were. How did you know?"

She shrugged, letting her usual grin slip into place. "Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you looked ready to take a long walk off a short pier might have given me a hint. Then again, when are those two not fighting?"

{When Lee's too busy ogling Sedra to think up witty come backs!} Laughed The Kaizer.

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing as the two started squabbling again.

"Well, are you coming?" Asked Sedra. She climbed into her shiny red convertible and slipped on a pair of shades. It was a gift from one of her many sugar daddies, the car I mean, not the glasses. I'm not sure what it's called, but it's red and looks expensive. I would ask Lee but she's busy telling The Kaizer in exactly how many places she could snap her back.

+++++

A word of advice: never, under any circumstances, get in a car with Sedra. If she doesn't rape you straight away she'll kill you with her driving.

I'm exempt from the rape because I'm her best friend, so I am doomed to die from her driving.

[She's lunatic!] Cried Yaleea. The two Me's had temporarily become visible to me, something they do occasionally. And both of them were currently cowering on the back seat, clinging desperately to their safety belts.

{Sedra is scary!} Howled The Kaizer when she was nearly flung from the roaring convertible.

The very fact that Kai would say that should warn you. The brunette drives like a mad woman. The Kaizer and I are convinced that my best friend's shiny red car is a magical artefact; kind of like the magic carpet from 'Aladdin'. Sedra was capable of steering her slinky cherry red vehicle through gaps cyclists wouldn't dare attempt to navigate and shot down side alleys at speeds that were capable of liquefying bones.

"Slow down Sedra!" I shrieked in panic. Quite naturally she totally ignored me and ran through a red light.

"Aw, stop complaining. Life's too short to sit on the speed limit!" Laughed my crazy friend as she somehow slipped in between a city bus and a yellow taxi. She grinned wildly from behind her shades. "Fast cars, fast food, everything in life was meant to be fast; except for sex of course!"

I sighed at her comment, Lee blushed and The Kaizer laughed at Lee.

'Launch' started blaring away from Sedra's thousands of hidden speakers and with a maniacal laugh she sent the small mirror-ball hanging from the rear view mirror spinning. "I love this song!" Cried the brunette speeding up even more.

+++++

Oddly enough we made it to the mall without a single death or accident. You'd think with the way Sedra drove she'd have wiped out half of the city's population, but, believe it or not, she's never crashed her car.

"Well, here we are. Man am I starving!" Grinned Sedra.

I literally fell out of the car in my haste to escape; Yaleea and The Kaizer close behind me. I was tempted to kiss the wonderfully solid ground but stopped myself when I noticed a dirty oil spot in the concrete.

"What's your damage?" Asked Sedra staring down at me.

"We can't believe that we're still alive."

She looked rather insulted. "Well of course you are! Do you think I'd drive like that with you in the car if I didn't know I could handle it?"

[Yes!]

"Lee!" I gasp and Sedra's smile wilted slightly.

"Anyway, I know just the thing to settle your nerves!" She exclaimed helping me off the dirty car-park floor.

{I feel sick.} Bemoaned The Kaizer.

+++++

When we entered the food court someone called out our names and from The Kaizer's happy squeal I knew who it was straight away.

He was around 5ft 9 with a slim but muscular frame, untidy red hair pulled back in loose ponytail and wide gleaming violet eyes.

Sedra bounded over to the table, dragging me along by the arm. "Hiya Daniel! How're things?"

"Pretty good, if you know what I mean." He added with a wink. Daniel McHallow's Irish and has a rather nice accent, but when he's drunk he can be a bit hard to understand.

"Hi Sedra, how were things today?" Asked Kenshi. He is so gorgeous!

Kenshi Ida: the most handsome, kind, intelligent, sensitive man on the planet.

Mrs Kaylee Ida, that has such a nice ring to it. Ahem. Where was I?

Kenshi is Japanese, his coal black hair is always perfectly styled and he has the most gorgeous red/brown eyes. He's a fair bit taller than me, around 5.5 and has a perfect body. He and Daniel are pretty much inseparable, you won't see one without the other. They live in an apartment together not too far away from Sedra actually.

Kenshi doesn't say that much to me, but I know that's because he's just shy. But one day he'll come out and confess-

[That he's gay.] Snarled Yaleea, she really doesn't like Kenshi. Something about not liking the way he treats us. Though I have no idea what she's talking about, Kenshi has never been anything but polite. Perhaps he is a bit quiet around us, but that's only because he's secretly in love with me.

[And I'm the one in denial? He's awkward around us because he thinks you're crazy and we don't exist.]

{I like Daniel better, he gives me candy!} Adds The Kaizer helpfully.

I ignore the pair and smile at Kenshi. "Hi Kenshi, how was your day?"

"Er, fine. Yours?" He glances nervously at Sedra.

'See, he's talking to me!' "It was great! Except that Lee and Kai kept on fighting and Sedra almost killed us on the way here."

"That's. um, good." Oh my gosh! See how he's looking at me! I bet he want's to tell me right now, but is too embarrassed to do it in front of the others.

I can see it now. He'd be sort of nervous as we went to get some Subway for Sedra and then I'd ask him if there's something bothering him. And then he'd stumble across some rambling thing about how he's worried about some girl that he likes, but is not sure if she likes him back. Then I'd smile and say she'd have to be a fool not to return his feelings.

[This is pathetic! You're twenty one, not twelve!]

'I'm ignoring you.' And then he'd blush really cutely and say that girl was me.

I'm snapped out of my fantasy when my limbs stiffen, everything goes sort of fuzzy and surreal. Right about I would start panicking but a great lethargy has fallen over me, I am completely indifferent to anything.

The Kaizer had snatched control of my body.

A wide grin spreads across my/her face and she throws herself at Kenshi. "I'm Kay and I like you!" she cries pulling him into a rough hug.

Poor Kenshi stiffens in her arms and looks helplessly at the others, both of whom are grinning like lunatics. "A little help guys?" He pleads.

"Oh, what could I possibly have that could displace you in her affections, Ken-chan?" Asked Daniel mockingly. There was a rustle of plastic and The Kaizer immediately came to attention.

The redhead pulled a small bag of candy from his pocket and held it up to display his find. "And what is this? Could it possibly be."

I could distantly feel my eyes straining as my pupils dilated; The Kaizer watched the dangling bag as though hypnotised. "Candy?" She whispered reverently.

My favourite food is Mexican, Lee prefers the food of her homeland; but to say The Kaizer has a sweet tooth would be like calling the Apocalypse a minor inconvenience.

Daniel routinely endangered his life by revealing the existence candy or anything chocolate in front of The Kaizer.

"Are you going to let go of Kenshi?" Asked the redhead, giving the bag a little shake and my heartbeat pounded in my head as she caught the sound of boiled lollies clicking against one another.

"But- Kaylee likes him!" She squeezed him possessively.

"Oh that's okay. More for me." Smiled Daniel. Her mouth fell open as he pulled out at small, hard, shiny lolly. Holding it up as if to inspect his find, the light slid across its smooth red surface and he slowly licked his lips. "Mmmm, yummy."

"No no no no!" She pushed Kenshi away and flung herself onto the table. "My candy, my candy, my candy!" She grabbed Daniel's wrist and used his hand to stuff the lolly into her mouth.

Most people would freak out but Daniel just laughs and liquidly slides his hand from her grip, leaving the candy behind, of corse.

Sedra doesn't look as pleased as Daniel at The Kaizer's behaviour, but it's nothing compared to Kenshi.

The Japanese man stands and quickly straightens his clothes, a scowl on his face. "Sorry to cut things short, Seddie. But I've got this paper due tomorrow and I haven't even started."

The brunette forces a smile. "Yeah, that's cool. I should get Kay home anyway."

Daniel ruffles her hair with a grin and hands me the bag of candy. "Here ya go. Don't eat it all at once, or you'll get fat."

The Kaizer gives a squeal of delight and throws her arms around the tall man's neck and plants a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Thanking you! But I won't get fat. We have a fast 'metal-bowl-isum'!"

Daniel laughs again and once more he slips out of her grip. "Later guys!" He waves and walks off with Kenshi.

The Kaizer giggles and stuffs a hand-full of hard lollies into her mouth.

Sedra's watching us with a frown. "Kai, can I talk to Kay?"

The feeling of detachment fades and I give my head a small shake to clear it. I look into Sedra's worried brown eyes, quickly doing a mental review of what had just happened while I was 'passive'.

The small sob that escapes my throat is muffled by all the lollies still in my mouth, tears well in my eyes.

[Kaylee.]

'Shut up! Go away! Leave me alone! Just go away and never come back!'

[We cannot leave until you really mean that.] Said Lee flatly.

'I do mean it! GO AWAY!'

[You created us so you wouldn't be alone and we will exist within you until you believe that you truly don't need us.] With that parting shot Lee disappeared, but she wasn't gone. I could feel them both hiding in the back of my head until I needed them again.

A hand gently touched my shoulder. "Come on," Said Sedra. "I'll take you home."

End Chapter 1

Um, hopefully no one saw this before I revised it. I had no idea the Fiction Press could be so temperamental! Well, what do you think? Should I continue or am I wasting my time?

Review. Now.