5/13/03
This is something I wrote after I broke down in class..

Why?

How could I do that?
How could I have let it go?
Let the tears come
let the pain surface.

In front of all those people
in front of a teacher (one I don't even like)
Am I stupid?
I must be, to have embarrassed myself like that.

She was only talking to me.
Why did I brake down?
Why did my lips tremble?

I hollowed my cheeks,
that usually holds the tears at bay.
I counted to ten,
that usually calms me down.
I let my thoughts drift away,
that usually brings back my facade.

Why didn't it work?
Why did the anguish continue to bubble up?
Why did the salty tears trickle down my cheeks?

And why...
Why did I let my anguish
escape my trembling lips?