Revengeful Silence Terminated

By MoshiMoshiQueen

I sat looking at the flaming sight of the sun’s light playing amongst the shinning moon as the two counteracted each other blending as one. I come to realize that I spend too much time staring into space, and thinking about life.

It is when I am alone that things in my brain starts to pour out like music out of a jut box that only stops when someone runs out of money to place in the slots.

~*~

Loneliness burns a hole through some people, and yet, I use the fire to make my own destruction… Plan Revengeful Silence Part A… remain silent, and dead to the world.

Day 1 7:45 AM the world is responding to my silent outcry with their own soothing words… Plan Revengeful Silence Part A complete Plan B now starting… I stop to think for a moment, what was Part B again?

Who cares it doesn’t matter any more I’m tired of playing the helpless fool who is torn apart, because of the loss of a so-called best friend.

~*~

The day I became trustworthy was the day I sold myself to hell… a quote made by me to live by. I let my guard down letting myself have a best friend, and the result? An endless backfire that hit me straight in my cold icy heart.

Best friends aren’t supposed to make you cry bitter tears that burn all the way down your pale cheeks… what was friendship? Was the rules written in a book or something?

I know what I would say, “friendship is most important thing in everyone’s lives… but, make sure you have lots of bandages when it back fires, for it might leave some scars.”

Bull shit. That is what trust and friendship is; it’s just a bunch of crap.

I don’t need to heal… I don’t need bandages for I’m strong enough to pull through this alone… and if I have to do it alone so be it…

~*~

“Raven, aren’t you at least going to say something to her? She said she is willing act civil.”

Civil my ass.

“She said she is willing to be your friend.”

My friend? Fuck off. Who needs them, and I sure don’t need her friendship.

“Come on say something… please.”

“Can you move? You’re blocking the board.”

The words echoed in the room as my friend stands in shock along with the other classmates… whether they are shocked that I talked or shocked that I said that in such a tone… I don’t really care.

Happy Raven… go lucky goody goody Raven… talked back… she talked…

~*~

“Aren’t you coming to lunch? We all miss you.”

Lunch? With her? I rather be eaten alive by a bunch of red-hot ants and then thrown over board in the harsh sea.

“She’s willing to talk to you, for my sake, if you talk to her.”

Talk to her? After what she put me through? You’re out of your fucking mind. Have you lost all your sense completely?

~*~

Tears stung my eyes as I sat in front of my so-called best friend in silence.

“She thinks not talking to me bothers me. It doesn’t.”

Cold… numb… hurt. Bitch.

“Things are meant to be this way.”

Meant to be this way? Meant to throw away a friendship of two years in one day? Meant to cause me this pain?

~*~

I bit my arm causing crimson red blood to cover the spot, falling towards the gray table in front of me… nothing. I feel nothing at all. I’m numb.

I hate silence… I hate fighting… I hate her.

~*~

“Raven, you can trust me… I will stay by your side. Please, talk to me? At least talk to me. I know she hurt you, but you know I would never do that,”

Trust is the most unfavorable word in the English language. Wish I could believe you Jess… wish I could.

“You know I will always be here for you.”

People say that all the time. Do they get it out of book or something… if they do the title would have to be Say-This-So-People-Think-You-Are-A-Good-Friend-When-Really-You-Are-Planning-To-Hurt-Them.

“I wouldn’t leave you hanging. I wouldn’t do what she did.”

“I know.”

Two words… spoken once… lives forever.

“I know.”

~*~

Plan Revengeful Silence terminated… Plan Get Stronger started.

Part A talk

Part B heal

Part C live

Part D trust

~*~

I bit my arm again… psychotic I know, but if it’s the only way I know that I am alive than so be it. Guess what? I’m hurting… I’m bleeding… I’m feeling.

I’m better…for now that is…

As for friendship? Who really needs it?

Trust? It’s a bitch.

Her? Her who?

My best friend? Worst enemy.

Life? I’m living it.

My arm? Bleeding… crimson tide flowing as scarlet raindrops falls from open wounds waiting to heal.

Bleed, but lived. Cried, but stopped. Died, but awoke.

Revengeful silence terminated.