Note: This is based upon my story Escape, though it’s really just an explanation as to what happened to the guy in Escape. However, you can read it as a separate story without having to read Escape. There are no specified genders in this ‘story.’

Pointless.

Everything I have ever done and probably ever will do is for you. Not purposefully though, I don’t sit down and plan every single move I make just in the interest of hurting you or pleasing you. But it is. If I were to write a list of every major decision I have ever had to make and put the reason of why I made that particular decision next to it, I can guarantee you that your name would come up every single time. And I think I can finally explain why.

I love you.

It’s taken me so long to realise it, but I guess at least I have realised it right? I guess the only problem is, it was a little too late wasn’t it. I’ll never be able to tell you how I feel and have you shout at me or kiss me or hug me or just ignore me. No, all you can do right now is lie here in this horrible bed, in this horrible place that’s so full of death. And it is slowly killing me. Everyday that you don’t wake up is another day that they can tell me it’s pointless to keep you here. Pointless. It’s not pointless, it can’t be. How can keeping you alive be pointless? I guess they don’t understand. How can they? They don’t know what it’s like to have the love of their life trapped inside a body that’s refusing to wake up. Refusing to answer my pleas. And there have been so many. I just want you to wake up and tell me it was all some joke. A prank.

A prank.

That’s why you’re here isn’t it. You just couldn’t say no to good prank could you. Only this time, well this time it went wrong. You’re such an idiot. Why did you have to do it? Why couldn’t you just be waiting for me like any other normal friend would be? I hadn’t seen you in two long months and you decide to pull a prank on me. You know I hated them. I guess that’s why you did it huh. You always loved to make me angry. A twisted part of you loved the feeling of power you got from knowing that you were the reason for my mood. I guess you’re loving this now aren’t you. You’re the reason I can’t eat, can’t sleep, refuse to talk to people. You’re the reason I haven’t stopped crying. It’s all you.

Look at you, just lying there. No worries, no problems. Why couldn’t it be me? I hate having to watch you slowly fade away. Slowly die. Because you are, dieing that is. And there’s not a goddamned thing I can do about it. Nothing. I feel so helpless. So lost. I just want you to wake up. Please. Please wake up. They won’t keep you alive like this forever. ‘It’s not fair on your family having to see you like this.’ What about me? Don’t they care about me? Don’t they care that the minute they turn this machine off they’re killing my reason to live. I mean, without you why do I need to live? I have no one to impress, no one to beat; I have no one.

That’s what I wanted to tell you when I got back. But you being the idiot you are destroyed that didn’t you. I wanted to tell you that you meant more to me than the air that I breathe, more to me than all the money in the world and more to me than my own life. I wanted to tell you that I loved you. No, that I love you.

Do you remember that day when you asked me why anyone could love you? You said that you weren’t special; you acted just like everyone else. I never did give you my answer did I? Well here it is. I’ll tell you why I love you. It’s not because of the things you do when you think people are watching, when you think I’m watching. No, it’s those things you do when you think no one is watching. When you think I’m not watching. Even when I wasn’t looking directly at you, I always found a way to watch you. Because it was when you thought no one was watching you, that you’d display your emotions, be truly you. And you are, you are the most amazing person I will ever meet. And you being here, in this bed like this is such a fucking waste. You deserve to be the one on this side of the bed. You had your music, your photos, and your art. You have so many reasons to be alive.

You can’t die.

Oh God. Please come back to me. Please. I don’t want you to die, I don’t want you to die never knowing how I feel. I can’t live knowing you never heard me tell you. I can’t live never hearing your voice again. Never hearing you say ‘I love you too’.

I guess I should have told you sooner. But you know I was never one for rushing in when it came to my feelings. You always told me that I would end up losing the person I loved because I was too slow on the uptake. I guess you were right weren’t you. I was too slow. I should have told you before I left. I should have phoned you. I should have written you. I should have done something. Anything. Maybe if I had, things wouldn’t be this way. Things would have turned out all right. We could be sat in our apartment right this very minute laughing, talking, watching TV. ANYTHING BUT THIS. Anything.

It’s too late now. I can’t change the past. No matter how much I want to. But, maybe, maybe I can change the future. Maybe I can stop the pain.

Stop the pain.

They’re going to turn off the machine in a week if you don’t show any sign of life. It’s been months now. They don’t hold any hope for you. And to be honest neither do I. Please don’t be mad at me for giving up hope. You haven’t had to sit here every single day, seeing the blank expression on your face. It’s enough to destroy anybody’s hope. But it’s okay. I think I’ve found a way to finally be with you. But it means I won’t be seeing you in here for the final week. But at least in the end we’ll be together. Together, just like we’re meant to be. o

End Note: In case you didn’t realise, the character was talking to the person in the coma.

Review please. Or don’t. But please, please, pretty please do. Cheers.