Theories Concerning Obsessions

            I quite honestly don’t know why I’m writing this. I think it has something to do with the fact that it’s after one in the morning and I’m bored out of my mind. I decided, what the hell, I’m going to write a little…thing about why I think people indulge themselves in various forms of obsessions. This will range from the normal teenage obsessions to the obsessive-compulsive behaviors of adults. Uh, yeah. I’ll be moving on now.

            As I’ve felt and observed through my short time on this world and the lack of experience I have concerning most people I do have some theories to why people in my age bracket are so easily consumed by various things. I shall now take myself as an example. I believe that I am obsessed with many, many things and this does not extend to movies or bands, but for me, being the geek I am, it is various animes and mangas, video games, and book series’. When I find something new that I really like I tend to latch onto it and stay there for a long time. For example, at the current moment I would say I am very much obsessed with Laurell K. Hamilton’s books and the anime Trigun. How do I know this? I have become a regular on watching Trigun and I refuse to miss any episode unless I’m dying or it’s being recorded. With the books I literally have been counting down since January for a book that was released a week ago in which I only got yesterday because I begged my mum to buy me the hard cover. When I say I begged I mean I literally got down on my knees and almost kissed the floor.

Now why do I go to such extremes? I believe that my obsessions are spawned from the fact that I love to ignore things or distract myself. I know that half the reason why I am so prone to becoming a rabid fan girl is I use that as an escape from the things I cannot handle. When life seems to hit its absolute lowest I just find something new to get obsessed with and while I am in that state of fan girlishness nothing else in the world matters. When I am watching Trigun or reading a Hamilton book everything in the world seems to fade away and I am suddenly not thinking about stress, school, grades, and the things that bring me down. I am completely and utterly focused on that one thing for that time period and usually for periods of times after that. For example, I am still very much “high” off the fact that I just read the new Hamilton book yesterday (technically) and just saw Trigun and Cowboy Bebop just a few hours ago. The fact that I am still “giddy” from these things is the fact that I am forcing myself not to think about all the bad that happens, all of the emotions that I cannot deal with.

            So, that’s me and my geek obsessions. Now I should move onto other obsessions like with dating, boys, girls, sex, drugs, partying, all of the normal things that people my age are into. The fact of the matter is that it is still the same thing. For most people my age and some older the best way for them to deal with a situation is to distract themselves from it. I see it in my peers and my friends almost all the time. When they are indulging their obsessions they seem almost happier. There is the certain glow in theirs eyes. So whether they are watching an anime, reading a book, or having sex to indulge ones obsession is how we distract ourselves from the bad.

            Then we have the other age bracket: the adults. Now, when I say adults I mean people who can be your parents so think around that age. The only really good example I can come up with is my dad. My dad is, although he will deny it, obsessed with religion. His obsessions started when we first started coming to church when we moved to Utah when I was in the sixth grade. For the first time in my life we were going to church every Sunday and my dad was becoming more and more active in a very short time period. It went from just going to church every Sunday to the point where my dad would not turn down anything church related…no matter what. When he was gone almost every night for something church related I knew that he was obsessed. How did I know? He was showing the same systems that I do when I’m obsessed.

            The root of my dad’s religious obsession? Guilt. Flat out guilt. I believe that when he figured what this entire religion thing was about he felt guilty towards God that it had taken him, and I quote, “forty years to find God”. My dad feels bad that he turned away from the church for his entire life and now that he has “found the way” he need to make amends for not “seeing the way” by doing everything and anything church related. Although the bible says you can’t buy your way into Heaven I believe, in some ways, that is exactly what my dad is doing.

            Before we moved to Utah my dad was obsessed with another thing: work. Personally, I think this comes with a desire to give my brother, my mum and myself whatever we wanted. My dad did not have a very…blessed childhood as far as material processions. Perhaps he felt the need to work and work to someone make up for what he didn’t have by giving the rest of us whatever we wanted. He is still in that in some ways, but not nearly as bad. I can remember when I was younger my dad eating dinner with the rest of us was a very, very rare event. It was like that for a little while when he was in his religious streak. He has finally calmed down though.

            Basically, what I’m saying is that there are many different reasons for being an obsessive-compulsive person. For me it’s a distraction and for my dad is reparation for the past. What I want a lot of fan girls to do is think about where the root of their obsessive behavior comes from. There is a root for every trait that we have and motive for everything we do. So I guess the bottom line is: What makes you obsessive? Are you like me and use it like a distraction? Are you like my dad because you feel a sense of guilt? As dumb as it may sound finding the root of this trait can really help you find out something about yourself.

            I know I did.