Before It's Time

Without a map, I am searching my mind
Not knowing the answers I wish to find.
My ink is running, my pen is leaking--
I've no paper to write what I'm seeking.
I know what I want but not how to be
For nothing I wish for comes naturally.
Climbing a long ladder I see a smile--
A jester who's throwing rocks from a pile.
One knocks me down, but I pick myself up.
He throws one more, too far to go back up.
I'm on the first step, and here I will stay
Until that smile turns down and goes away,
But the jester won't leave before it's time,
So I ask you to give me a reason to climb.