Dear You,

It's funny. How we started out. You remember, don't you? I had dreadlocks. You were wearing a tight black hat covered in pins and you always carried a bookbag. How emo, right? haha. Not quite. It was summer, and around here, there's nothing to do. Nothing to do but hit up the mall. We both had the same idea. You were there everyday. Everyday! Crazy. I only went when I could convince my dad to let me take the truck. And of course, I had to have that girl with me. You never saw me without her. I hate her. But I owe her everything. All the happiness. And all the sadness.

It was because of her that we met. I was walking down the stained carpet and she spotted you across the food court. I laughed when she pointed. She called you "Michael." Like she knew you. How could she know someone so obviously cool? I avoided you for three days. She tried to get your attention by walking by you, talking loudly. You were probably only annoyed. Hell, I was annoyed. I had to hang out with her. Yeah, okay. So I thought you were cute. And she knew that. But she didn't have to keep walking me by you just to see if you'd talk to us. It was lame. Really lame.

Then we saw you walking once. Not leaning outside on the railing with your cigarette. You were walking behind us. I was trying to play it cool. I popped my neck a few times. Nodded dumbly to all that girl's questions or pointless statements.

And then she did the scariest thing she could have done. She turned around and said, "Hey Michael." You looked enraged, can I tell you that? Seriously pissed off. "Don't Call Me That, Jesus!" you yelled. "My name is Chris." You ranted for a while about 'why do people call you that', 'you don't look a thing like Michael', and 'that kid's a fag'. That girl looked scared. I said nothing. I didn't say anything the entire time, actually. We stopped for a minute by the movie store and that girl asked if you and your friend wanted to get ice cream from the food court. I hadn't noticed your friend until now. You agreed and we walked there. She was walking beside you and I was behind you all.

I talked for the first time when I told you what school I went to. Told you I was a junior. You told me you'd dropped out. Daddy wouldn't like this character, my brain said. My conscience told my brain to give it up for once. We all got ice cream and you made fun of a gothic kid sitting alone at a table. I got to notice you for the first time up close while you were distracted with that. Your hair was spiked down in front of your eyes. It was a dark dark brown. Your eyes were an incredible shade of blue. I'm not just saying that, they really are, man. They still are. You had your lip pierced. Not alot of people can pull that off, but you've got the best bottom lip...so pouty. You asked if I wanted to go see a movie tonight. I was self conscious. I was also a little intimidated. I mean, I didn't really know you.

That girl convinced me to. She let you write the number of the house you were staying at on her hand. So generous of her. When she offered to write my number on your hand, you smiled, and let me do it myself. I remember being nervous because the whole time I was writing, you were looking at my face. You told me I had beautiful hair. I laughed and said, "It's not supposed to be." You grinned and gave the pen back to that girl.

We walked around the mall with you, and I laughed because you knew...everybody. There was a crowd gathering around us, all of you talking, making introductions. We followed some guy out to his car where he had to change t-shirts for work. A few of the people were doing those crazy rave moves. It was insane. Everyone left again and it was just me and you. And my friend and your friend. We went into an Authorized Personell Only zone and sat inside, out of the heat. You guys smoked a cigarette. That girl and I sat around nervously hoping no one got 'busted'. You touched my shoulder as we left the zone and I said I had to go. It was 5:00 and I had to be home at 6:00. Traffic and stuff...

You walked me and that girl to my car and we gave you a ride to the front of the mall where your 'gang' was. You talked about your hate of Dave Matthews and your love of my Green Day hoodie. It was my brother's, really. I just thought it'd be cool if I said it was mine. When we dropped you off, you reached around and gave me a 'front seat hug' you called it. You were in the back, I was driving. You gave that girl one, too, but I could tell it wasn't nearly as good as mine. I've never seen more of a half-assed hug in my life.

That girl and I drove back to my house. We talked about you the entire way home. I told my dad we were gonna see a movie with my friend Chris, from school. He said it was fine. That girl and I waited in my room until 7:00 when you said you'd call. And we stood by the phone from 7:00 until you did.

We were so lame...