Title: Dear Beth, Love Fei

Author: Ayakaishi Fei aka. FireDemon

E-mail: PG

Category: Romance/General

Warnings: Shoujo ai aka. Femslash.

Summary: There is hope - love changes, it evolves, it becomes greater and it becomes easier to love as the years pass. Ones heart does not pine away forever. You may never forget your first love - but the subsequent love can be greater than you ever expected.

Authors Notes: I got a new review for this, this year - and an email, asking about whether I ever took a chance on Beth (the answer is No, but that doesn't mean this is a sad ending). Just felt like the first letter was sad and heartbreaking, and gave no hope to those who read it. This is where our relationship is now, and it's a happy ending as far as we're concerned.

Dear Beth,

I wanted to say hi, and Happy Birthday to Ash - I can't believe she's turning two already - feels like just yesterday that she and Kyo were helpless newborns, and now they're celebrating birthday numero dos! I've been busy decorating Kyo's birthday cake for his party tomorrow, and I'll pop down the post office to mail Ash's card later today. I've been reminiscing a little today.

It's kind of hard to believe that it's only been 3 years since we finished year 12 - I mean, it doesn't feel like it's been that long, but at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago. We were so innocent back then, carefree I guess.

I'm also writing this because I wanted to thank you - for making my first experience with love so achingly bittersweet. I don't think, without having known you, I would have realised how special what I have now is. I'm happy, and you're happy - and it doesn't matter that we're not happy together.

It's funny how things change - how people change. I hated Scott for the longest time - never realising how much he meant to you. I would never in a million years have guessed that you and Scott would one day be Uncle Scott and Aunty Beth to my children - never would have guessed that we would have babies only days apart - never would have guessed that the painful aching regret I felt could become stong platonic love - I thought once you loved someone, if you messed up, there were no second chances. It's so nice to know that love can change. It isn't static - it doesn't fester in your heart if you let it die.

I think I made my peace with you and Scott that new years eve - when I finally kissed you, when we... well you know what we did. It was enough - I didn't feel cheated after that - I didn't feel like I still needed to know what we could have been. I was satisfied with knowing that you were happy, and you still cared.

And then I met the love of my life, and I knew then - you may have been my first but there was more to love then what I'd experienced with you - and that didn't lessen what we'd had together. I put it away in a little shoebox, and my heart grew - love is elastic as I've discovered.

And what I felt for him - well that couldn't compare in any way to the love I felt when I laid eyes upon Kyo, in all his gory squalling glory. That put things in perspective - and I'm sure you know what I mean.

There is life after high school. Your first love is not your last. You can be blissfully happy, even after a heartbreak that you thought had robbed you of your ability to find love, and I know that now.

I guess I needed to say, Beth I love you, but I don't love you.

And I will always be your friend.

But I know you are happy, and I know you've made the right choice in Scott.

I know that your kids aren't bratty, and I'm proud to be their aunty.

I want you to know, our relationship doesn't make me cry anymore - it was for the best that we had it for the short time that we did, and for the best that we ended it. Whatever may have been is irrelevant - what is, well, is enough. I can't wait to see you again.

Luv,

Fei