"Son of a bitch, why do I do this to myself?" The tall, lanky, blonde
wondered aloud. He looked into the bathroom mirror at his rosy red cheeks,
and the rest of his pale skinned body.
Without taking his eyes off the mirror, the 16 year old tossed a tissue
into the trash basket. "Jesus, I should of played basketball with that sort
of shot." He said. He continued to look into his hazel eyes in disgust,
while shaking his head.
It always seemed to him that he was the oddball everywhere. At school, he
was the silent one who normally didn't speak unless spoken to. To those who
didn't know him, they'd naturally call him with the reference to his spiky
hair. Around friends, he seemed to act differently, almost more mature than
his counterparts. He was always thinking about one thing or another during
the day. During his free time, he'd either write in his notebook a poem,
song, or story, or talk with his friends online.
"Jaysen!" A female voice from the floor above called.
"Yes, mother?" The boy answered in disgust.
"Get your ass up here and go to bed." His mother ordered.
"Hang on, I'll be up in a minute." Jaysen said.
"Now!" His mother demanded.
Jaysen switched off the light in the bathroom and climbed the stairs to the
second floor. He walked to his parents' room and knocked on the door.
"May I come up?" Jaysen said.
"Yes, get in here and say goodnight." Jaysen's father answered.
Jaysen walked into his parents' room and said goodnight to his the two
adults. He closed their door once more and slowly walked to his room, it
was already 10 at night. He turned on his overhead light which illuminated
a room, which looked like the normal teenaged boy's room. There was a row
of die cast cars above his bed, posters on his walls, and sports
memorabilia on his shelves.
Jaysen let out a tiny sigh and found the clothes he would wear to school
the next day. He then looked at the mirror on his dresser, his eyes
wandered to the pictures he kept up on it. There was a picture of his dog,
Buck, who had to be put down a few months earlier. He missed Buck as much
as anything, on some nights, it almost felt as if the dog was still
sleeping next to him on his bed, but on other nights, he felt the shiver of
being alone. His eyes then moved to three other pictures, all of himself
and his friend, Ryann. He'd only known Ryann for two years, but the two had
grown close. He always missed her, for she lived three hours away from him.
"Oh, Ryann, lord knows what the hell color your hair will be the next time
I see ya," Jaysen said to the girl in the picture. "It'll be great to see
you again, though."
Jaysen moved to the door to turn the light out. Finally, after another long
day in the thing Jaysen liked to call life, he slid under his covers.
Although he really didn't believe in God, he said his prayers, he never
understood why he did it if he didn't believe, but it had become habit
years before his loss of religion. After he was done with his prayers, he
said goodnight to those that he cherished above all others, he knew that it
was very weird to do such a thing, but it just felt right.
"Goodnight, Buck, love ya man, miss ya so much, and I think about you all
the time, I hope that wherever you are, you're happy. I miss ya, and I love
ya." Jaysen began.
"Goodnight guys, you're my boys, I thank you guys for everything." Jaysen
continued in reference to his best male friends.
"Oh, Ashlei, you're my girl, you know that, I just hope that everything
will finally work out for you, for once. Lord fucking knows what you've
been through, wish that you could find some happiness and get a guy, for
once. I don't know, just hope you and Bryan would hook up; it'd be so nice
to see. Peace, girl, love ya." The teenager went on, talking about one of
his better friends around.
Jaysen let out one more sigh before he said goodnight to Ryann. "Been
through some stuff, haven't we, Ryann? You're the best; I hope you know
that, I just wish that everyone else knew that, I wish that they'd be as
thankful as I am to have someone like you in their lives. I've said it a
million times already, but to damn bad, I'll say it again, you deserve the
absolute best, and I hope you get it. I'll never forget you; I can't wait
to see you again. You're in my heart, you're on my mind, we'll rock on, and
we'll be fine."
Jaysen looked to see that it was already 10:30. He had a knack for making
his goodnight's last a good half hour at times. He set his alarm for 6:08
the next morning and snuggled into a ball. In no time at all, he fell into
a deep sleep, where life was just a figure of his imagination.