I’m sorry.

I remember the first time we met, you where so shy and alone it seemed.
 Then I got to know you and knew better.
You where anything but shy.

I remember the night we found out that we felt the same way about each other.
How I made some comment about you not being like me.
How you took me burning face in your hands and said, “Are you sure?”
I remember the joy I felt at those words.

I remember the fight we had at school.
How only our special language kept me from proclaiming, “I love you!” to the whole school.

I’m sorry for the hurt I caused you.

I remember our first kiss; how soft and tentative it was.
Your soft lips against mine.

I remember the biggest fight we had.
How I said those damning words.
How I turned at – what sounded like a sob – to see you standing there, hand over your mouth, the look of shock and pain on your face, tearing me in two. 

I remember how I wanted to run to you, take you into my arms and kiss you.
 With your mother standing there. Throwing everything away just to say, “I love you.” In more then a whisper.

 I regret that, and I’m sorry.

Sorry for hurting you, sorry for never truly saying, “I love you.”

But I did love you, and still do.
We haven’t seen each other in two years, and yet I still can’t stop thinking of you.

I remember the last night we spent together before I left for my summer vacation…The last ditch effort of two desperate people trying to regain and re-forge the shattered pieces of a relationship.

I remember how clumsy we where…how we ended staying up all night, just talking.
How I wrapped my legs around yours to keep you warm.

I can’t stop thinking of you and it’s driving me crazy.
I keep having these living Dreams/Nightmares that a queer twist of fate might bring us together again.
If only for a while.

I say your picture awhile ago; I had gotten a hold of a copy of your year book.
You where as beautiful as I remember you as.
I can’t help but think of how you are fairing.

And if you still bare me ill will.

Or if you will ever forgive me for all the hurt I caused you.
Hurt I caused because I was afraid.
Afraid of being hurt.
Yet I ended up being the one who hurt you.

I’m so sorry.

Will you ever forgive me?

I loved you then, and even thow it’s been two years…

I still Love You.