I see the world in different shades of gray each time hoping for something better, hoping that maybe this time I'll forget the dark and the light will embrace me once more.
Dreams of dark and solitude while I try to be in the light and each time I reach for that golden halo the dark takes me. It kills me from the inside out.
There was once a time when I cried out in the place I'd been given in life, times when I hated the dark refused it and each time I've found myself as empty as the colors I see in the world. Maybe I'm jaded or maybe I'm the only one in this entire world who can see the truth.
Oh the grays of the world haunted me through most of my life and there were many things I give to see the red that splashed on the shores of humanity, because with all the wars what other color would wash upon the sunny the shore?
The sky would match the ocean with crimson skies and deep blood drench clouds while children cried in the street letting soft red tears slide down their pale gray cheeks. That is what I imagine this world to be. I don't want to see color when I think of this and with each bat of my eye I can see the destruction and pain that runs through the world.
I feel the loss of that child the young mother had to give up. I feel it and know the weight the world.
I know the solitude of loneliness, surrounded by so many people with a smile so bright. Yet crumbling in side each night toying with the razor, letting it dance along the sink, oh how shiny!
This is humanity. This is the pain.
Gray, gray is how I'll always see this world. I close my eyes and in those pictures of destruction, murder, and hatred I see the world's oceans brim foamy with their brother's blood. Most times I laugh, killing your brother because they won't let you have a toy they have. Killing thousands just to see if you're better, just to see if you can win. In my mind I ask if you want to win why don't you play scrabble? Then there would be more wars and more pain and the seas would turn black all because they couldn't decide if "ain't" was a word.
Humanity, humanity spreading pain. Humanity, humanity destroying peace. Humanity, humanity destroying each other.
Time has shown, we hate solitude yet crave it like a drug. We fear that which we do not understand.
I sit alone and realize the pain. I want the light. Where did it go? Where did the sun used to shine?
I search for these non-existent places hoping to numb the pain that these shades of gray bring.
Maybe in this world I cry red tears for humanity, or maybe I await for its destruction to begin anew and sit forever in something that is light.