Treasure for Ai written by: Cindy Moon

“We do not suffer alone”

            Love. What a word. What does it really mean? We spend our lives searching for love. Is it just the acceptance we seek or is it just the desire of someone? She felt confused. She had never felt love for herself. She doesn’t even know if what she feels is love. She thought she loved Suki, but she was just a friend that seemed to forget about her. She thought she loved her parents, but they never returned the kindness. She thought she loved Haru…

Don’t you wish it were that simple to find the one you love? He asked her for a date, and she accepted. The times they shared would linger on forever as they planned their life together with topics such as what kind of family they would have, or as they aged they’d still be madly in love with each other. Start laughing now. It is never that simple.

Chapter 9- No more Dreaming

            I wish I had real parents. I wish I had those types of parents who used their time off to take their children on a picnic or on a short walk down the street. That’s all I’m asking for. Wishes aren’t meant to come true however; they are intended for the mere purpose of driving you to something that isn’t attainable. I wish I had real parents, but I know I never will. My parents I believe aren’t even my parents at all. I know somehow that I’m adopted.

They run their business meetings, they go off to their fancy business parties. Married to the job. They have no time for me. When they do, they take out their stress on me. Why am I even there? Isn’t the point of having a child having someone to love and care for?

Mother and Father are off again. As I grow older I notice they are never around. When I was younger I always thought my parents were there for me, but the reality was they never were. I spent my days in the care of my visions, this cursed power I think I have.

I turned from my room to gaze outside. The clouds grew an eerie gray, not enough to rain, but I knew the sky-tears would come. I had a fetish with the rain. It’s like a double-edged sword. All the world’s misfortunes come to me in the form of rain. Yet rain is such rejuvenation. I take risks on days such as these. This time I promised no tears, not like the last time I ran out into the rain to be consoled.

It was such a gift to be so alive, yet just once I would love to be kissed by death.

The man and woman huddled together in the cramped office looking at the tiny screen. Evidently they didn’t enjoy sharing the breathing air. The excitement however overcame that. What they both worked so hard for was going to be completed. Testing was going to be in progress. It had practically been 17 years, and they felt their time masquerading as parents was going to be wasted. But no, the time has finally come to see all their sacrifices lead to success. For years they have denied the girl any happiness. They caused her great pain, but only so she would become stronger. Happiness made you weak. Emotions made you weak. The pair needed her to be beyond emotion. Hate gave a much better reaction than love. They made sure of that. There was a flicker on the screen as eyes watched Ai leave the house, and those eyes knew exactly where she was going.

The scenes flashed before me. I wasn’t quite sure they even really happened. Haru had invited me to have lunch with him. Would you consider that a date? A lunch between two people who thought they were “just” friends? He actually seemed nervous about it too, which I found odd. He did like me than more than just a friend. He’s been like that for a long time ever since we met. Did I accept his offer? I couldn’t remember. It happened all so fast. What do so-called people do on dates anyways? Yes, let me flirt with him and make up an array of lies about my non-existing extravagant life for him to like me just to find out on the second date he isn’t the one for me. Too bad we know too much about each other, yet at the same time so little.

The sky just grew darker by the time I reached him. No worries however. It was going to all be okay. No more abject life for me. My only folly was all the tension that I built up from before and the unintentional discouraging look I had in my eyes. The only thing that we had together was silence, and uncertainty. When I turned to him the first thing he said to me was,

“Ai, every time you look at me, you want to see someone else. It’s Akira isn’t it?” Haru, how can you say that?” I replied, but he pressed on. His insecurities were my fault. I had never been truly open with him.

“Shouldn’t a year be enough to move on? I can’t compete with someone who isn’t there”

“I know,” I whispered so softly he probably didn’t hear.

“I can’t be a replacement for him. You have to accept me for who I am,” he finished, leaving me with nothing but silence. His tone through it all was calm but frightened. It was as if he didn’t want to lose me. Haru commenced to walk and he kept a pace to always keep me at his side. All that had to be said was said. The skies weren’t so forgiving however. They had been holding back for most of the afternoon. It began as a small curtain of drops, then the rain magnified until the drops poured down in buckets. I looked at him, my vision clouded by the water. He was still there walking by me. What for?

We made it to his apartment since my home was too far away. Not like it helped though, I was drenched. The tears of the clouds soaked my clothing. Sneezing was inevitable. Not only was I wet but also freezing.  For the several minutes I spent complaining, I failed to realize Haru had left the room. Perfect. I had the time for myself anyways. My hair was mangled, and my clothes stuck unnaturally to my body. They needed to be dried. I figured I changed fast enough, might as well. I worked on my blouse first undoing the buttons slowly, one at a time. Slippery fingers and small buttons did not go well together. Then after peeling off my pants I wringed both articles of cloth semi-dry. I don’t know which was worse, freezing with wet clothes or freezing with no clothes.

“Sorry Haru,” I murmured, commenting on the water I had decked his floor with. A little more water wouldn’t hurt now. My hair was next. What ugly stringy hair I had; it seemed just to sprout from my head and die as soon as it got out. I twisted hundreds of strands tightly until it hurt, until they dried. That fatigued me; I was drained of my will. Collapsing. Falling. Flying. I hit his mattress with a loud thud. What was I doing here? Quickly the door squeaked open and I heard linen drop to the floor. The sweet sound of footsteps came closer and closer. I was facing the opposite direction, but I knew who it was, and it wasn’t his parents.

“Ai…” My face flustered when I heard that voice. Here I was on his bed with nothing on but my undergarments and he dared to say my name. I lowered my head making sure the ugly hair covered the side of my face. I didn’t want him to see my embarrassment.

“Sorry Haru, my clothes were wet.” The door slammed. Had he turned around to leave? I heard the creaking of the floor. He did just the opposite. I could feel the pressure he placed on the mattress when he drew nearer the space between us growing more and more narrow. He was behind me close enough to feel my heart racing and my breath out of rhythm. His arms wrapped around me. The feel of his body against my bare back sent chills up my spine. An overpowering surge of lust came over me. I wanted him to want me. Did he want me? He drew me in further, his finger tracing my spine until he stopped at the clasp of my bra. He whispered softly into my ear, “I’m sorry.” My eyes widened not knowing what to expect next. Thoughts grew fuzzy and I felt light-headed.

 ~Owari

            The man’s infectious laughter rang through out the cramped room. He played the segment of film over and over again. The girl was completely oblivious to the fact she was being watched. The little pin that had been given to her as a gift was her downfall. The woman walked to where the laughter was coming from and was shocked to see what her husband was watching. Her eyes scanned the screen to see a young girl undressed on a bed. It was their daughter.

            “What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” The man paused before answering possibly contemplating a reply that wouldn’t upset her.

            “Ai is giving us all the evidence we need. Furuya Haru your family will fall.”