Dowty
by Chris Walden

There once was a woman named Dowty
Who always gave you a cheerful "Howdy".
And teaching us essays of old,
from many classical books untold,
but never forget the "T" in Mrs. Dowty.

Though she didn't show it,
and only a few know it -
she was incredibly smart,
and full of cheerful heart,
but ultimately a master
of the first-draft-
english-essay-blaster!

She taught many English classes
and always wore them cool glasses.
When writing you're thinking
that you can't stop from blinking
as a part of the illiterate masses.

You passed last year's class?
You're trying so hard to pass?
Good luck old chap -
you're only a small sap
struggling in a pre-college class.

You used to get 'A's
with your book full of plays?
Don't look now:
Dowty will show you how
to work on your english for days!

So this cheerful woman named Dowty,
would force you to say "Howdy"
to an ugly green book
of which is fatal to look
into the twilight zone of Spiller.
(And believe me, it's a killer!)

Once upon a time,
while writing this rhyme,
into English 308 I came,
and thought today's future the same.
Can it get any worse?
Oh no! Dowty's final curse -
The Essay on Thomas Wolfe!

Life slapped you in the face
and put you in your place.
It required 22 articles
with all its tedious, perfected particles.
You're gonna cry, you want to die,
but "perform under pressure with grace!" (Dowty, 1-2)

But despite the great trials,
and the hundreds of literary miles,
we could feel it inside,
finishing one hell of a ride -
wearing our most gracious smiles.

The work may be hard,
and your sleep schedule jarred -
You know she's a friend
offering help until the end,
helping you pass unscarred.

She's been with us so long,
making our minds strong;
watching us with care -
and of us she was always aware.
She taught classfulls of goofs,
complete with their spoofs.
It's hard to believe
that she's going to receive
her indefinite and relaxing shore leave.

Student or not,
alumni greatly sought,
please give a good Howdy
for our Sandra Dowty!