Couches on the Sidewalk

"My little brother got in a fight at school."

"Oh yeah? Did he win?"

Terry and Adelaide were juniors in high school.

"You bet. Socked the kid in the face, just like a wrestling pro."

"Your Mom musta freaked."

Adelaide was going to Terry's house for the weekend.

"Nah, the little brat had it coming."

"What did he do?"

It was a warm Thursday afternoon.

"Hogged the remote."

"Shouldn't the teacher supervise those kinds of things?"

That's when they noticed it.

"Hey! Wouldya look at that."

Perched between the sidewalk and the road was a grey couch. It was lumpy and the cushions were frayed and limp and across the back were cat scratches. It was exactly the kind of furniture monstrosity that deserved a garbage truck, but someone wasn't done with it.

"What's wrong with that guy?"

Slouched into one of the slouching cushions was a grey and lumpy old man. His cat clawed at an armrest.

"I dunno. What do you think he's looking at?"

The old man stared forward, intent on the pale sideboard walls and cement driveway of the house in front of his couch. The girls approached.

"Hey guy, what's so interesting?"

The old man waved an irritated hand at them, shooing silently.

"C'mon, tell us what you're doing. We don't bite."

The man continued to gesture at them, keeping his eyes forward.

"Whatever. Let's keep going, Ada; my Mom's waiting for us by now."

"Okay. Hey, you seen Mandy or Jon in school lately? I heard a rumour that their dad got busted for using illegal cable, and that the whole family was kicked out of town."

"Don't be stupid. Why would they steal when they've got that massive satellite? I'm surprised they ever left the house with all the shows they can pick up on that thing."

Ada laughed. "Maybe that's why they stopped coming to school."

"Probably-- Whoa, look at that!"

One house away, a couch was sitting on the sidewalk. This one was dusty and faded red.

"Just like that crazy old guy back there."

On it, a man and a woman sat staring across the street. They were curled up and smiling, like a sentimental couple watching a romantic movie.

Terry and Ada walked up to the couch.

"Excuse me, but what are you doing?"

The woman turned her head. She held a finger to her lips.

"Lady, there's no reason to be quiet--nothing's going on. Look, I'm just curious about why you and your friend are sitting out here. It doesn't make any sense--"

The woman shooed at them the same way the old man had. The man glared.

Ada pulled on Terry's arm. "C'mon Ter, they want to be left alone."

"Fine. Stupid bitch. What's wrong with these people? They should stay inside and watch soaps like normal people." Terry pulled her arm back and stalked onwards.

"Why are you so pissed? Maybe it's a gag, maybe they're just lunatics. You always get so worked up about things."

"I just don't get it. There's nothing out here to see but houses and sidewalks. Damn! There's another one!"

On the other side of the street two men were carrying a small couch down grey brick steps. Terry and Adelaide crossed over the street towards the men as they were placing it on the sidewalk.

"Terry, don't--"

"So, what's the couch for?"

The older man looked at them. "Sorry, can't talk now. Busy."

"With what?"

"Shh."

Adelaide dragged Terry away before violence commenced. "Just ignore it, we're gonna be late. It's probably a gimmick from a late night talk show. You know, the host tells all the watchers do the same thing at the same time."

"I watch the late night shows; I never heard anything about that. Why are they doing this and why are they ignoring me?" She stopped and Adelaide bumped into her. "Oh god, look! Ada, there's more!"

All along the streets, couches were lined up, facing into the empty road. Each couch had at least one person on it, sitting quietly, watching.

"What are they doing, Ada? This doesn't make any sense. They should be inside; their couches should be in front of the TV, not on the sidewalk."

She ran up to a couch and stood, with hands on hips, in front of the family on it.

The mother hushed her toddler, who was crying at the intrusion. "Pardon me, but you're standing in the way."

"In the way of what?" Terry's voice was rising.

"Young lady, I think you'd better go home. You are too loud. No one can hear over your racket."

"Hear what? You aren't listening to anything!"

Terry moved into the middle of the street. She wheeled around and yelled, addressing all whom she could: "What are you listening to? Why are you out here? There's nothing here. Just houses and concrete! Everything up and down this stupid street looks the same; all of you look the same."

Adelaide began pulling on Terry's shoulder. "Ter, stop it. It doesn't matter--none of it matters. I'm sure they're doing it for a reason. You don't need an explanation for everything."

"You people are all stupid! You're just sitting out here on your couches, watching the people across the street do the same boring thing as you."

Everyone ignored her, looking straight ahead. Terry waved her arms above her head, screaming obscenities and making a spectacle of herself, until she had to admit defeat to the dull, detached eyes.

Adelaide finally removed Terry, pulling her disheartened friend behind her until the other girl tripped, scraping her knees on the sidewalk. Adelaide tried to help her up, but was shrugged off.

Terry got up and walked briskly down the street, looking intently forward, ignoring the couches that now lined the streets.

"You shouldn't do that."

"Shut up, Adelaide."

"Whatever it is, it's their problem."

"I said shut up."

"I don't understand it either, but I don't mind. We'll go to your place and forget about it, okay? There are some good movies on tonight. We'll stay up all night, watch TV, and forget about the couches. Just don't think about it."

"Look. There's my mother."

In front of Terry's house was her mother. Their old couch, which had been green once, but had long since faded to grey, was sitting on the sidewalk, and Terry's mother was sitting on it.

"Oh, are you home already, Terry?"

"How are you doing, Mom?"

"You'll have to make your own supper. This is so interesting, I don't want to miss it."

Terry looked across the street. A teenage boy was flopped across his own couch, eating from a bag of chips, and chuckling sporadically, like a recorded laugh track.

Terry walked up to her front door and into the house.

"Terry, you okay?"

"You want something to eat, Ada?"

"If you've got stuff, sure."

Terry kicked off her shoes into the corner, dismantling several cobwebs. Stray cats milled around the front closet, challenging her over territory and protecting their hoard of dead chipmunks. Entering the kitchen, she pushed a stray chair out of her way--it crumbled where her hands touched it and collapsed into a pile of mouldy, termite-ridden sawdust.

She looked into the cupboards. Most of the shelves had fallen off and there was no food in them. There was no food in the refrigerator either. They had turned off the fridge last month to conserve increasingly expensive energy.

"We'll order in."

"Okay, but later."

"Whatever. I've gotta wash my knees before they get infected. Go turn on the TV and see what's on. Watch out in the dining room, a couple of snakes have moved in and one of the vines has started to grow through the wall." Terry ducked another spider web to enter the bathroom.

Adelaide walked to the TV room, tripping on the sticky, musty carpet as she went through the doorway.

The light bulb had long since burned out and the drapes were too full of bugs to handle, but Adelaide knew the television set well enough to turn it on blind.

It was tuned to a news channel.

"--Eaking report. Terrorists have taken over all of the broadcasting stations in the country. Fanatical nature buffs have organized a wide- scale collaboration in order to reach the public with their opinions. According to the latest report, almost all stations have been tuned into a single show, in which these fanatics are prompting the public to abolish the government, destroy civilization, and return to ancient barbaric roots. Their message is punctuated wi--"

The screen flickered.

"Ignorant citizens, this is your last chance! We are not here to threaten you, but to show you the threat you have caused yourself."

The newscaster had been replaced by images of nature--trees, animals, and rolling landscapes; a massive variety of beauty. A picture of a mother deer walking beside her baby deer flashed by, and the voiceover continued.

"In the past fifty years, human population had skyrocketed. In order to provide for this burst of humanity, production, development, and manufacturing has been increased everywhere. Seas of suburbia have flooded the countryside, pushing out every other living thing."

An image of a full flower garden, blooming.

"The houses had to be built so quickly and in such numbers that the same design was used everywhere, and each tiny lot contained only the house; no backyards or front lawns. Even our most domesticated examples of nature were crushed and thrown away."

A caterpillar crawling along a tree branch.

"Luckily, some of the displaced flora and fauna survived by moving into the very houses that had replaced their habitats. Not all species were able to make the shift, but the old infestation standbys of cockroaches, mould, and mice have now been joined by other highly adaptable insects, rodents, fungi, and plants."

A clear, sparkling brook tumbling through a meadow.

"Though these tragedies are recent developments and you should not have to be reminded of them, we find we must! You, the people, have forgotten and ceased to care that the world is being destroyed, nature wiped out, and our species has gone out of control. You live stacked together in monotony, sharing your decrepit homes with animals, and are oblivious. That is why we have taken this measure to warn you."

Birds flittering about treetops.

"You have given up your rights to live happy and healthy lives. The state of the environment is deplorable--the air is poisoned; purified water has become vital, but grossly expensive; natural resources no longer exist on this continent. And yet you do not care."

Two lizards mating.

"You have become cows--domesticated and brainwashed. Children go to school to learn skills to get jobs to make money to pay for what? For TVs. For the set, for the electricity, for repairs. Television has crept into your lives, stealing them."

A frog being swallowed by a snake.

"What was once harmless entertainment has become violent escapism, as you flee from any reality more difficult than pressing buttons and reclining into couch cushions. You do not even care what you watch anymore, save that it isn't challenging or thought-provoking."

A waterfall cascading over a cliff.

"And as your minds have declined, you have allowed the state of the world to decline."

A lion catching a gazelle in the savannah.

"Television is used to instruct our children in school, reducing teachers to brainless supervisors."

Waves crashing turtles onto the shore.

"It is used in prisons to occupy criminals, and as a reward for heroes and idols, with their countless shows."

One monkey clinging to her dead baby.

"It has become our nation's mother and God. We have shunned reality for it and lost what is most precious to our souls."

Flies digesting in a carnivorous plant.

"The government even controls our minds through shameless, entertaining propaganda!"

A tree falling in the woods.

"But now you must see the truth, and you must act! It is time to turn off your set, go outside, and change the w--"

Adelaide switched off the TV. Terry walked in.

"What is it?"

Adelaide looked at her friend. "There's nothing on."

Terry paused.

Adelaide waited.

"Wanna go outside?"