How Metropolis was build in 300 days.

Credits and title.

Hi, you might be wondering what the hell kind story you've stumbled into, and let me assure you that there's bad language from the outset and talk of drug use.

But for those who can deal with that, there is (hopefully) a treat in store. The plot to Metropolis is explained in the chapter, but the plot to the story is not. Basically it's about an actor who gets a part in a multimillion dollar production after just getting duff jobs before. Then this tells of everything interesting that happens on set and so forth.

Some very important notes.

1/ THIS IS FICTIONAL! To my knowledge at the moment, THERE IS NO REAL REMAKE OF METROPOLIS, and if there is, I doubt if Tim Stone is involved because he's a fictional character.

2/ I am not Tim Stone because I'm a girl aged 15, so if I get the male persona wrong, please tell me and I'll correct it. I'm not good at writing male characters, so you'll have to tell me were and when I go wrong. But I know some guys worry about their weight because my brother does it all the time (I kinda based Tim Stone on him, but don't tell him that.), so there! Also Newton Troop is based on one of my brother's friends who has an equally stupid name. (No offence to any Newton's out there.)

3/ SWEARING SOON.

4/ I love the movie Metropolis, and there are a few points of how I would have done it. Written in the first person.

5/ There are references to real life people, but none of them feature in this because you're not allowed to have real person fic on Fiction Press. If I have used the name of someone you know, then it is coincidence.

6/ I do not own metropolis or any of the characters from it, but I do own the actors who star in it, the crew, friends, family and all characters that are not actually in the story of Metropolis. So you can't sue me!

7/ I don't know how the whole agent - actor - getting a job thing works, so everything I get wrong comes from being a non-acting plebeian.

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Well, I don't really know how to start this off, but I think I'll just be cliché and start it off with my name. My name is Tim Stone, and this is about how me, an actor, was involved in the re-make of Metropolis. Just so you know what I look like I'm about medium height with Brown hair and Grey eyes. So I don't have to explain this later, I will tell you now that I'm slightly overweight and it works against me all the time trying to get jobs, so it's a bit of a bugger. I mean, I'm not Brian Blessed or John Rhys Davies big, but no one wants a slightly overweight man to play any parts these days. You've either got to be morbidly obese or morbidly like Arnold Swarzenegar.

My history, left home at eighteen to go to Uni, got a first in English and have jumped between jobs on stage and theatre to commercials for two years until Metropolis. I've been single for a year; my girlfriend of then six months dumped me for an Art Undergraduate. I'm still not over it.

For those who aren't in the know, Metropolis was a silent black and white film from the 1920s, written by a nazi and filmed by a liberal. It was made in Germany because. Basically, no one could afford American films and they were very cheap imports for America, as well as it was during the time of the great depression in German history just after world war one and before Hitler got involved.

At least that's what it says here.

I play this character called Josaphat who is the best friend of the main character. The film's plot is a bit hard to understand because the original director (Fritz Lang, apparently he was famous.) was more concerned with allegory and metaphors than the plot. A bit like Tim Burton then.

Apparently the plot is - Freder, the main character, is a playboy dumbass until this woman called Maria finds her way up to where he is and tells everyone that the kids of the workers are everyone's brothers. She gets sent away for course, but Freder follows her 'into the depths' below the earth where the slaves work. He is shocked and tells his daddy all about it, who acts like a bitch and dismisses him. This is the part where I enter as Josaphat and get fired by Freder's dad, (Joh Frederson) because I don't know everything. I go off, Freder saves me, we become best friends while he falls in love with so woman called Maria, who claims he is the mediator and savoir of the workers. Of course, some guy called Rotwang tries to replace her with a robot clone and everything goes wrong, but as per-usual everything gets better before the credits are over. It's a lot better than it sounds. Lets just say that this isn't the official story.

I'm not a famous actor; actually, I've been working hard for ages now, but mostly on stage and the one (failed) series of 'Vampire doctor.' Lets just say that it wasn't the fact that the idea pissed off people, but the fact that it was actually shite. I heard that after it had been shown once all people involved had burned every copy of the series and a good thing to. The last thing anyone's career needed was for that demon to rise from the grave. I'm so glad it was so forgettable that no one says anything if I leave it off my résumé. But now I can only mention it as the evil VD word. Otherwise I feel like vomiting.

So lets just say that after that I had expected only commercials and pantomimes after that. Well, luckily, I bounced back on stage, but for a long time I'd been completely broke. I'd worried a lot. I'd sat in the bath for four days at a time, worrying about money, even though I was shivering to death. I worry a lot. It's a thing, I dunno why, but when I worry I go have a bath and sit in it. It's calming, but nice.

But less about my bath habits and more with what this is actually about, which is the re-make of Metropolis. One day after sitting in the bath I got a call from my agent. Obviously, as I'd been in the bath I hadn't answered it, but she left a message on my phone.

'Hey, Timmy, nice to see you're busy, not worrying or anything, that's the spirit! Anyway, I got a message from America. They're auditioning people for the new version of Metropolis and I just thought, well daaaarling, you should try out. Phone me soon, and I'll give you the details.'

Later, when I had managed to tear myself away from the bath I heard the message and my heart sunk. Great. An audition. In my fit of despair all I could think was that I wouldn't get any part. I'd seen the movie a long time ago as a student and had been smoking weed, so I didn't really remember much about it. There was some stuff about head and hands, and because my friends and I had been stoned we'd giggled about it all night, and the way that fucking a mechanical woman would have been painful. We were very stoned by that point. I passed with a first by the way, so I wasn't as stoned as all that.

From what little I recollected about the film I tried to think about which character to audition for. The slim man? I laughed at myself. I am not slim, hence why I work on stage. Only slim people work on film or television, except if you're a comedian or a stereotype. I was once offered the role as 'fat French guy chef' in a BBC comedy called 'Restaurant wars', which I was offered shortly after 'Vampire Doctor.' I guess they thought that I was desperate for work, and I was, but I wasn't that desperate. After that I lived in the bathtub and in a corner of my flat, which I didn't mention I share with an old University friend called Newton Troop. Don't ask about his name, his parents, I assume, hated him at birth, but he's a layer now. One of the best in the buiz, specialising in divorce cases. I think that's because we watched too much Trisha together when we were students and kept deciding how much it would cost for couples to divorce. I created a divorce monster in him.

He, as you can guess, did law, while I took a major in English. His parents were really middle class when I met them, the father a strange man who worked in the TA's and was obsessed with guns and his mother was frighteningly glamorous, the type of woman who looked like she should have run a brothel. Of course, I don't mention this to Newton, mainly because he pays the electricity bills and half the rent. Sometimes I thought he pitied me, and he did. I mean, I had no job, my family were what he called 'poor' and by every single rejection I got from auditioners I would spent more time in the corner of my room listening to dreary music or sitting in the bath.

Well, I might not have auditioned for it if he hadn't found out. I had been in the bath all day when he came home, calling jokily, ' Tim, you out of the bath yet?'

'Nah.' I answered, getting up and drying myself off.

He pressed the button on the answering machine and heard my agent drawl her message in a very unenthusiastic voice. 'Hey mate, what's this? You got a job?'

Walking out of the bathroom with three-day-old clothes on I looked at him and snorted in the negative. 'No way Newton, no ones employed me for ages.'

'It's an audition.' He encouraged, 'come on Tim, remember, that's the only way they're going to employ you.'

I slumped on the sofa. 'Pah,' I sneered, 'I'll go along and they'll say, oh, who's this, and then I'll say, and then they'll say the evil VD words,' I resisted the urge to spit, 'and then they'll look at me and say, "can you lose three stone in a week and build up some muscle and then we might employ you". ' I looked up at him. 'I'm screwed from the outset, Mate.'

'Jesus Tim, you're so fucking depressing all the time.' Sighed Newton as he sat down, 'Can't you at least pretend to be fucking enthusiastic.' I was about to open my mouth when he said, 'and if you say anything along the lines of the worthlessness of life I'll personally strangle you. Leave that stuff to the Goths and Fictionpress writers.'

'Isn't that murder,' I asked him.

'Yes, but I'll say it was a provoked attack after years of verbal abuse, so it'll only be manslaughter.'

We both sat quietly for a moment. Ignoring the phone call I said, 'I'll put the kettle on.'

'You're not changing the fucking subject.' Said Newton, 'you're auditioning for a roll, even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming.'

I sighed. Newton was very persuasive. And determined. He is the only person I knew who managed to convince his tutor to give him and extra fortnight on his thesis. No wonder he was still studying for a masters.

'Okay, I'll go, but I don't even know who I should audition for.'

'Well, why don't you phone your agent and get the details you dickhead.' He answered.

'Okay you bastard.' I said, smiling at him. I picked up the phone and dialled my agent for more details.

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Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. You know, if you want to you could always review this poor writer.