Welcome to the special parody chapter of the Lady of Akai where the characters cosplay and parody various animes. This is a very long chapter with lots of "specials" So have fun. If you'd like to do one yourself, feel free. (Just let me read it, ok?)

Chapter 55: ULTIMATE SPECIAL CHAPTER -- REDLADY THEATRE 3000

Hail parodies of parodies...

"HAIL LORD DARKSHIN!!!!" RedLady called saluting.

"Shin!" Alma said besides her, then coughed up blood, wobbled and fell over.

"The world is corrupt." Darkshin stated standing before them with a huge cape flowing behind him as a drum rolled. "When demons walk among us freely, we can truly see that the world is a dark place..." He said seriously.

"YAY!!" RedLady yelled. "Demons walk among us! Sounds suspiciously enticing! Darkshin can trust RedLady to purge the demons from the earth! I chop them with a sword! Bazooka them with a bazooka. Bite at them with the powerful jaws of justice! Oh Lord Darkshin I..." Darkshin pulled a cord which caused a trap door to open underneath RedLady.

"AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." She yelled.

"Oh my... cough cough." Alma said while wiping blood from her mouth.

"Alma, tell RedLady when she's calmed down a bit, but she shouldn't parody a show about parodies."

SPLASH!

"Lord Darkshin, are you watching? This is my doggy paddle! Swan stroke! Oh, there seems to be a tidal wave coming... ah!"

SPLASH!

"Oh, do you think RedLady's going a bit too far, Lord Darkshin?" Alma asked. Darkshin put his hand on his head.

"The world is corrupt."

(Parody of Excel Saga - the anime.)

"And we're back ladies and gentlemen!" An announcer who resembled the sheriff from Jujiro said. "Today we bring you live from the ultimate card playing tournament of Card-Oh-Mon!!! Behind me we have last years champion Mr. Saboru Saijo. Let's hear from our previous champion. Oh Mr. Saijo! Do you plan on winning the tournament again this year?"

He grabbed the microphone. "Oh yes, you can plan on it. I have three super rares and twenty uncommon cards! Plus my dice are of the finest quality! Swwigy you can't even hope to defeat me!" And with that he burst out laughing insanely.

"Well there you have it folks. I don't know who this Swwigy character is but Saboru seems to have some great cards. If he plays them right, he will surely win. Though I do wonder what's his secret in capturing not just one super rare but three of them! I hear that's a pretty good feat as one super rare can demolish a whole city and then some... Oh coming live from one of the tables a game is already in progress. We'll transfer over to Ms. Asuko who is commentating live at one of the gaming sessions. Over to you Asuko!"

"Thank you Mr. Sheriff. Here at this table we have seven players in a very close match of cards. The dealer seems to be the only one who knows what he's doing though..."

At the table she refered to to Chazbone who sat at the head of the table looking closely at his companions. Swwigy sat on his right side, with Kilme on his right side. HG was next, then Alma, RedLady, and finally Adro who had an array of interesting materials...

"I choose you, the monkey king card!" Chazbone cried placing his card on the table with force.

Asuko gasped and commentated. "Though this card is only slightly uncommon it is still a powerful and useful card with attributes in strength and dexterity! Let's see what the others at the table do in retaliation of this strong card."

"I got a royal flush." Swwigy said.

"I fold." Kilme said in defeat.

"Go fish." HG said smiling.

"Old Maid?" Alma asked.

"Uno!" RedLady yelled with one card in her hand.

Adro was next and looked as if he knew something everyone else didn't. He threw down two blue funky shaped dice... "My twelve sided dice beat your monkey king card by 12 points! Plus, I've got the super rare Diablo card, special edition number 2 that I captured single handedly. This beats a royal flush by a long shot! Plus, this little box holds a cute but deadly plant cat embued with rubies that eat your fish, HG." He continued placing a box on the table with shook vigosiously with leaves growing out of it. "Old Maid, huh?" He said facing Alma. "The butler did it in the dining room with the candle stick. Oh yeah, I call reverse revolution with doubles which doubles your cards to two, sister. I say Dos!"

"If you didn't know how to play Card-Oh-Mon, you could have all just told me." Chazbone twitched.

"I thought we were playing poker..." Swwigy said.

"Why are there aces behind Swwigy's chair?" Alma asked innocently.

(Let the author just comment that she hates animes that involve cards or fighting animal thingies. She can still do a parody of them though, right? There you have it. Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and Card Captor Sakura with a D&D type twist. Pretty random, eh? Screw the money, I have parodies! Saboru was supposed to be paroding Jurai from El Hazard by the way.)

Rated PG-13 for blood and gore.

The demon held the long haired woman up by the neck. "Yah!" The boy yelled while jumping up in the air and hitting the demon on the back.

"Hah!" The demon growled hitting the boy away.

"That's no way to treat a lady!" Another guy yelled and swiped at the monster demon with his sword cutting off his arm. The demon screamed and jumped backwards still holding onto the red haired woman whom he held by the neck. She struggled trying to breath.

"This one's mine. She's useless to Queen Rho, so she dies." The demon growled licking it's lips ignoring the blood oozing from his chopped off arm. The red head in his hand struggled to free her neck from his grasp. "And after I'm done eating her, I'll eat all of you in the Swwigy party!" He growled like a cornered animal.

"Heh heh, I think he's mad at us Swwigy." Another man said smiling next to him forming a ball of energy.

"Heh, I could care less." Swwigy said looking extremely annoyed even as the energy ball tore through the demon's body. The demon dropped the girl who immediately crawled away from the wounded monster.

The boy and the swordsman joined the smiling man and the one named Swwigy. "You won't be able to stop us, Swwigy." The monster growled slowly loosing strength. "You can't interfere with the Queen's will. Oagio will be revived."

"Just die." Swwigy said pointing a gun at the monster's head and pulling the trigger. The demon flew back from the force of the gun and moved no more. The woman watched in shock from the sidelines. "Hey you..." Swwigy called looking at the woman waving his gun.

"Shall we pick up where we left off?" The smiling man said.

"Yeah? What's with trying to kill us? You work for Rho and yet your own comrades try to kill you?" The man with the sword said smoothly brushing his hair back.

"Wait, you guys." The boy said pushing his stick together to make it disappear. "She's my sister."

"Yes. I thank you for saving my life even though I was trying to kill you. I do work for Queen Rho though somewhat against my will. In the end, I will help to resurrect Oagio so despite what has gone on today, we are still enemies."

"I'm just happy to know that you are alive, Red." The boy said.

"I had no idea my brother was working for Swwigy."

"Hey, wait a moment, Monkey boy." The man with the sword on his back said to the younger boy. "I didn't know you had such a good looking sister. But say... if you're a monkey what does that make her, a gorilla?"

A paper fan appeared in the red head's hands and whacked him on the head. Just as quickly, it disappeared. "I guess I deserved that." The swordsman said.

(This was a parody of Saiyuki which should be apparent unless you have never seen/read it. Swwigy plays Sanzo, HG plays Hakkai, Chazbone plays Gojyo (LOL!) and Adro plays Goku. RedLady plays sort of a mix between Kougaji and Dokugakuji. So maybe not all of them match the characters they are playing but I do find it funny that Chazbone gets to be the lady's man of the group. In case you don't remember Oagio is supposed to be the Hunter's real name.)

Chazbone ½

"The Curse of the Peddler Woman"

Once upon a time there was a courageous, self righteous boy named Charles De Mann though everyone called him Chazbone. He was training with his older cousin the scatter-brained-yet-laid-back HG. They planned to go to a special training ground where it was said that the very heavens had touched.

Along the way they met a fairy. Being the superstitious boy that he was, the boy Chazbone yelled, "Begone mischievous sprite." The fairy got mad, zapped him, and flew away talking about revenge.

"Why did you do that?" HG asked him.

"Cuz fairies are evil." He answered.

"Hmm... I guess they are evil." HG said watching Chazbone breaking off a piece of charred hair.

Next, on their journey to the heavenly training ground they stopped at a stream to rest. There, Chazbone came upon a water sprite. "Ahh!" He jumped back. "Watch out, HG!"

"Huh? Why?"

"She's a part of those Sirens that try to wreck your ship and drag you underwater so you drown."

With that the water sprite (whose name was Alma coincidentally) jumped at Chazbone. "What did I ever do to you?" She cried and a tear drop fell on him and then she quickly jumped back in the water.

"Surely it's wrong to make a water sprite cry." HG wondered.

"But they're evil, HG!" Chazbone reminded.

"Oh, right." HG agreed.

"Buy your amulets! 5000 yen for a magical artifact!" A voice was yelling. Chazbone and HG looked over to see a peddler woman on the side of the road.

"What? 5000 yen for a necklace!?!" Chazbone and HG exclaimed.

"Well these aren't just normal necklaces. They are magical amulets that ward off evil."

"Oooh... We should get one of those Chazbone." HG claimed.

"Don't be fooled HG! Surely this person is a fraud!" He said pointing at the red headed peddler woman.

"What!?! I'm not a fraud! They really are magical!" She yelled.

"You just want to steal people's money! It's evil I tell you! Evil!"

"Heeeeeeey! I'm not evil!" She growled. "I just want to make an honest living!"

"Honest! Hah! These are just cheaply made necklaces with no magical powers what so ever. You won't sell your wares to me peevish woman!"

"GRR!!" She growled getting angry.

"Uh... Chazbone?" HG tugged at his sleeve.

"I stand my ground." He said. "You gotta know how to handle yourself against thieves like her."

"MAY YOU BE CURSED TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE SOMEONE LIKE ME!!!" She growled and with that she disappeared.

"Whoa... she must have a hard life." HG wondered.

"Hmph. I admit she has a nice disappearing trick though." Chazbone mentioned and they went on their way.

"Um... yeah. Heh heh." HG answered.

Next they came to a village where a woman came up to them begging for change. "Please kind sirs, my father has gambled away all our money and now he's sick and we can't afford the medicine! Please spare some change!" A woman with a purple pony tail begged.

"Gambling huh? How do I know you just won't gamble any money I give you, away?"

"I promise! Please! He'll die if I don't give him any money."

"Well ok then." HG said but Chazbone stopped him.

"Now, now HG. You must learn to spot fraud. Surely this woman is merely making the story up. Besides, even if it is true, gambling is an evil and the consequences must be paid for."

"But..." The woman said crying and then turned and ran away.

"Uh... she seemed really sad." HG said.

"Good actor." Chazbone rationed.

Finally, they got to the training grounds which had been bought out by a rich family and turned into an apple orchard.

"This is it, HG! We can finally train on the heavenly grounds!"

"Oh? You came here to train? The lord and lady won't be happy to hear that." A small man said standing next to an apple tree. "They don't like fighters training here, even if it is the training grounds rumored to be touched by heaven. They simply want to grow apples."

"Who are you?" Chazbone asked.

"I'm Basmu, the lord and lady's humble servant. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave because you're trespassing."

"But we simply must train here! We traveled all this way!" HG said.

"Please let us train here." Chazbone seconded.

"Nope. I'm sorry. I'm telling them right now." Basmu turned.

"Well there goes that." HG sighed.

"Not uh!" Chazbone said tackling the small man.

Then he tied the man to an apple tree. "We will let you go after we have finished training." Chazbone told the man.

"Hmph! You'll be sorry. And for that I'm not gonna tell you anything about the place."

"Uh... ok." Chazbone said and started sparring with HG. After an hour of training, Chazbone and HG lay on the ground of the apple orchard.

"Wow." HG huffed. "I feel really good. Maybe this place really is heavenly."

"Yeah... I feel stronger already!" Chazbone said and then sat up. "We're done training now Basmu." Chazbone said walking over to the man who was tied up.

"Hmph." Was the only answer. Chazbone reached up and plucked an apple off the branches and took a bite.

"I'll untie you now." Chazbone said chewing the apple while Basmu looked at him almost curiously.

HG plucked an apple too and was almost halfway done with it after just two bites. "Mmm... thwis appwah is reel gwud!" HG talked with his mouth full. And then the most amazing thing started to happen. HG began growing a snout.

"HG!" Chazbone yelled as HG began to shrink and get rather hairy. "What's happening to him!" Chazbone yelled at Basmu who was chuckling next to him.

"He ate the fruit from the tree that that lord buried his loyal dog under a long time ago."

"What!?!?!" Chazbone wondered.

"Ruff!" HG barked who was now completely a brown haired looking dog.

"You've changed too Chazbone." Basmu said almost evilly.

"Huh? No I haven't." Chazbone said looking at his hands and feeling his face. Though his hands did seem smaller and his face seemed softer and his clothes seemed baggier except in the chest...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Chazbone yelled as he realized he had things he didn't have before. "I've turned into a girl!" He yelled.

"Howl!" HG howled. Chazbone felt his head and realized he had much longer hair. He examined it to see that the color was red.

"Yes." Basmu continued. "You ate from the tree that the lord buried a poor but kindly peddler woman under a long time ago. She gave him magical amulets which have saved his family from evil for many years now."

"Does this happen to everyone who eats of the fruit from this tree!" Chazbone panicked.

"No, just you guys."

"But I don't want to be a girl!" Chazbone cried.

"You should have thought of that before you insulted the fairy." Basmu said.

"What? This is because I insulted her?" Chazbone said in disbelief.

"Well you also made the water sprite cry. It's an unforgivable sin to do that."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh and you insulted the ghost of the peddler woman who sold amulets."

"But... She was gonna rip us off!!"

"And you didn't give that beggar woman money for her father. Buddha really does look down upon that."

"So this is because I offended Buddha!?!?!"

"Who knows. But don't be too sad. You'll eventually turn back."

"But when?"

"I onno. One can never tell these things."

"Wha!?!?!"

"But when you do turn back it won't be for long."

"Ruff!" HG barked again.

"Now you'll always change back into a red headed girl whenever you are hugged by the opposite sex, think about the opposite sex, get splashed with water, and during the night of a full moon."

"And me too?" HG said now back to human yet naked.

"Yep. Both of you will change into your opposite forms when that happens."

"That will make life hectic." HG said.

"What? But I don't want to be a girl! Even half of the time. And how come I haven't changed back yet but he has?"

"Hmm... maybe it's permanent in your case."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Chazbone woke up screaming. "Whew." He said when he realized it had all been a dream. "I dreamed I turned into RedLady." He gulped and felt a sharp pain on his neck. Alma giggled from across the room. "Alma? What are you doing here?"

"Turning you into a vampire of course."

OO

(Hah hah! So obviously that was sort of a parody of Ranma ½ with a few other things mixed in. So more like a tribute to all those animes where guys change into girls or other animals.)

Winning Piece

Chazbone has just bought a boat and is showing it off to RedLady and Chazbone…

“Behold!” Chazbone said motioning to a big ship with black sails.

“Whoa, that is good.” RedLady and HG admitted.

“I call it St. Parvlos.”

“But it says the Necrobone.” HG pointed out.

“What?” Chazbone yelled. “No, not that ship. I couldn’t afford that one so I bought the next best thing.”

“Well, where is it?”

“Right here.” Chazbone said getting into a small row boat. “See? Isn’t it cool?”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!?!?” RedLady yelled. “This is a fingernail compared to the Necrobone!”

“What? But it still floats!”

“Isn’t there a little more to a pirate ship than whether or not it floats or not?” HG wondered.

“I wonder who owns that ship anyway?” RedLady pointed to the Necrobone.

“All hail, Swwigy-sama!” Some voices yelled and the captain of the Necrobone was carried aboard on a pedestal followed by a very embarrassed first mate: Kilme.

Adro landed on RedLady’s shoulders. “Farewell, my sister. I’m gonna go be a pirate now.”

“Whaaaaat?!?!” RedLady jumped so Adro fell off. “You can’t be a pirate! I’m gonna be a pirate!”

“Well. I’m off!” Adro ignored her and jumped high into the sky and landed on the Necrobone.

“Adro! You traitor!” RedLady yelled.

“Well, we might as well set sail.” HG said nervously.

“Yep, we’ll show those Swwigy pirates who is better!”

But their boat wrecked…

“This is all your fault, HG!” A ragged RedLady with green hair said.

“What?! How is it my fault? I didn’t tell it to storm, the giant octopus to attack, that undersea volcano to explode, the deadly mollusks to attach to our boat, or the radioactive seaweed to try and eat you all at the same time.” He listed off.

“Uh, RedLady? Is it just me or is your hair green?” Chazbone wondered. She pulled at her hair to reveal sea weed.

“It’s seaweed!” She yelled. “Well if it’s not HG’s fault, this is all your fault!” She yelled at Chazbone. “What? Why is it my fault?”

“Because your boat sucked!”

But miraculously they may be closer to their goal than they thought… and that is where we pick up today’s episode…

“You mean all we have to do is swim over to that island and whoever gets there first wins?”

“Well it’s a bit more complicated than that.” The referee called Lener said. “The winning piece is found somewhere on the island. If you find it, you become Ruler of the Lands.”

“Don’t you mean ruler of pirates?” HG wondered.

“You heard what I said.”

“Hah hah!” Adro jeered from a few meters away. “You cannot hope to defeat me, sister! I shall get the winning piece for Swwigy!”

“You traitor of a brother!” RedLady yelled.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” He simply said. She foamed at the mouth.

“Now, now RedLady.” HG calmed.

“Focus, RedLady.” Chazbone said. “You’re the only one in our group who has the best chance of winning.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Cuz according to my calculations, using your weight and body shape as well as estimating your level of endurance versus meters swam per minute…”

“Boring!” RedLady groaned.

“Swwigy! Swwigy!” Swwigy’s minions chanted.

“He has a lot of followers.” RedLady noticed.

“Which is why you need to focus on the goal.” Chazbone prepped. “You can do it, RedLady! You can find THE piece. The ONE piece.”

“Mmm… pie.” She drooled.

“Focus!” Chazbone yelled.

“You know guys…” HG interrupted. “Who knew the famous treasure from that famous pirate captain who died would be used in a contest. Doesn’t it seem suspicious? Wouldn’t you think there would be a lot more people here?”

“No time to think about that. The race is about to begin.” Chazbone said. “Get ready, RedLady. We’re counting on you.”

“What? What about you guys?” She asked.

“Oh, I can’t swim.” HG mentioned.

“And I just ate so I can’t go in the water yet.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” RedLady yelled.

Two minutes later, both HG and Chazbone were in their swim suits. HG had a floaty thing around his waist.

“Don’t drown, my dear sister!” Adro yelled.

“Grr!” She growled.

And they set off with RedLady and Adro tearing toward the island. Chazbone huffed far behind her. He smiled to himself. “I knew my calculations proved that she was a good swimmer.”

HG meanwhile, was following behind Kilme quite reluctantly. “Um… excuse me sir?” HG said. “I seem to be stuck to you.” He said as Kilme realized a rope was attached to his torso and HG was being pulled along behind him on his floaty.

“The contest isn’t over once you get to the island.” RedLady said to herself while lying on the beach huffing and puffing. “I still have to find pie… I mean a peace sign or something.” Someone stepped on her face.

“Woops. Sorry sister. Didn’t see you there.” Adro laughed. “See ya!”

“Why you traitor brother!!” She yelled with an imprint of a foot on her face. And they both raced up a mountain where coincidentally the winning piece they sought was at.

At the top, they came upon J who was shaking hands with Lener. “Congratulations, sir. You found the winning piece and are now Ruler of the Lands.”

“What? No!” Chazbone yelled who somehow appeared behind them. “I trusted in you RedLady! How could you do this? Our ship crashed because of you!”

“So you’re saying it’s my fault!” RedLady yelled.

“Well we’ve already established that it’s not HG’s or my fault.”

“All I wanted was pie!”

“Well, too bad. Now J has the one piece. I humbly bow before you sir, as the king of pirates.”

“What?” J said. “I’m not the king of pirates… yet.” He added with a twinkle in his eye.

“But you found the one piece to rule them all. The treasured treasure of that famous dead pirate that nobody can seem to remember.”

“What? You mean this?” He held up a plastic coin. “This was just made for the purposes of this contest.”

“But they said you were ruler of the lands.”

“And he is.” Lener interrupted and pointed to a ship below the mountain called “The Lands.”

“Your wording suggested other things.” Chazbone said.

“All I wanted was pie.” RedLady moaned.

“Enough about the pie! This is about pirates!”

“Who says pie and pirates don’t go together?”

“Hi guys.” HG walked up with a shark attached to his leg. Kilme walked besides him with a shark on his arm. “Sorry I’m late. We ran into shark infested waters. See?” HG said shaking his leg. “I call him Sharkey. Say hello, Sharkey.” He continued to shake his leg with the shark biting on it.

Chazbone slumped. “All I wanted was to go on a pirate adventure and find Sauron’s One Piece and my ship mates can only think of pie and getting eaten by sharks…”

“Who’s Sauron?” HG wondered.

“And my precious ship St. Parvlos wrecked!!!” Chazbone cried.

“You can have ‘The Lands.’” J said tossing him the plastic coin.

“Huh?”

“I already have a ship. I don’t need another one.”

“Wow, really? That’s nice…” RedLady said.

“Not so fast!” A guy with an eye patch, beard, bandana, parrot, and cutlass interrupted.

“Isn’t he overdoing the pirate motif?” HG wondered.

“I, Saboru, the straw colored beard, shall become Ruler of the Lands by stealing the One Piece!”

“Squawk! Straw Colored Beard.” The parrot said flying away.

“Oh yeah?” RedLady challenged pumping her fists. Chazbone had an extendable rod in his hand and HG had somehow acquired three swords.

“Prepare to be pulverized.” RedLady said her arm somehow stretching backwards and hitting him across the face. Chazbone gave him a few whacks with his extending rod. HG finished him off by slicing him with his three swords.

“How’d yall do that?” Lener wondered.

“Heh, we’re pirates.” RedLady announced smiling.

“Hmm… we both must be after the same treasure so I’ll see you again sometime RedLady.” J said and went off into the sunset.

“We might as well go too. We got a new ship!” Chazbone mentioned.

“It’s an improvement from the last one.” RedLady mentioned.

“I’ll always miss you St. Parvlos the boat!” Chazbone cried to the wind.

“Hey, what should we call ourselves?” HG wondered.

“The Pie Pirates.” RedLady said. “Mmm… pie.”

“I vote we name ourselves the St. Parvlos Pirates in memory of our lost boat.”

“I was thinking of naming ourselves the Quester pirates so we can remember that we are on a quest…” HG offered. “Or we could always be the Sharks with Sharkey as our mascot. Right little Sharkey?” The shark growled in response.

“There goes the Red pirates.” Lener said. “I can tell they’re gonna be trouble…”

The End.

(A little too obvious of a One Piece parody I think. Lord of the Rings somehow got mixed in there. And pie… we must not forget about pie. Mmm… That was probably the weirdest parody yet. Chazbone had to be Nami... hee hee... sorry Chazbone.)

"Now I shall rid the world of all color and take over it!" Adro laughed maniacally.

"Not if we can help it!" A blue haired girl in what looked like a frilly leotard said holding a wand.

"What?!" Adro said annoyed looking at the group of girls who had gathered.

"RAINBOW SIX UNITE!" The red head yelled and they all said, "Right." at the same time. The colors of the world were at stake here. Fashionably, you can't have that.

But let's start at the beginning.

Like any magical girl anime, you need a cute main character. And what better main character than Akako...

Akako was a normal high school girl until one day while doing her math homework, a lepracaun who calls himself Ellipse gave her magical powers. Now whenever the world is in trouble Akako-chan turns into Red-chan, the leader of the Rainbow Club. She and her friends save the world with their magical attacks and colorful personalities. With her as our protector surely we will be safe from melencholy and dreariness...

"Mmm..." Akako said stuffing food into her mouth. "Picnics are fun, right Alma chan?" She said to the black haired girl on her right.

"I still don't understand why we all have to be here." An older girl with pink hair said sitting across from them. "First years..." She grumbled. Her companion, a messy haired blond guy smiled goofily next to her with a notepad.

"You can leave if you want to!" A fiesty blue haired girl said glaring at the upperclassmen.

"But I want the Rainbow club to sit together." Akako whined.

"So... the newspaper is doing an article on people's favorite color and I was sent to do the polls..." The blond guy was saying. (This is supposed to be HG but for the sake of keeping with semi-japanese names he shall now be refered to as Eiji. Hey it sort of sounds like HG.) "I suppose for everybody here I'll just add their Rainbow Club colors..."

A purple haired girl in a pony tail was walking towards them. "Lener chan! Over here!" Karma waved.

"I'll carry your books, miss." A boy Saboru was saying.

"I'm fine." She said and walked past him without blinking.

He turned away. "I guess it's not meant to be... but surely Purple-chan would have never ignored me like that!" He said rubbing his hands together. (He's weird...)

At the same time a cool looking guy walked by with a kendo stick. "Oi, Shinsuke!" Eiji waved.

"Shinsuke!" Akako sat up with crumbs falling from her mouth.

"I'm doing a newspaper article and need to know your favorite color." Eiji said smiling.

"Don't bother, Shinsuke sempai!" Akako said trying to get Eiji in a headlock.

"Um... my favorite color?" He said. "Red and black." He answered simply. "But I've got to go practice." He said shifting the kendo stick over his shoulder.

"Hear that Red-chan? He likes red..." Eiji teased.

Red (AKA Akako) blushed. "And black!" Karma interupted.

"But we don't have a Black-chan in our club." Alma said.

"Anyway, why do you like that weird guy anyway?" Karma complained. "All he cares about is kendo. I don't even think he notices girls."

"Yeah..." Akako said.

"Which reminds me... he's going to be in a kendo compitition soon, isn't he?" Lener reminded.

"Yeah... he wouldn't have much time for dating anyway..." Akako blushed.

"But Akako-chan? What about Dark Masque?" Alma asked. Dark Masque was the mysterious man in a mask that helped the Rainbow Club from time to time.

"Yeah... he shall always be number one in my heart."

"Feh, while you guys talk about such pathetic things, I'm going back to class." Rho, the upperclassmen said.

"I'd better go collect some more data!" Eiji said. "Hey you!" He said to a passing red headed kid. "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue!" The kid answered. "No... yellow..."

(Sorry yall, I couldn't help it.)

"Aw... lunch is over already?" Akako groaned having a tantrum.

"Uh... L-Lener-chan... I... I..." Saboru was back to bother Lener-chan.

"Hey you!" Eiji said pointing to him.

"Y-y-yes!?" He said feeling like he was trapped in a search light.

"What's your favorite color?" Eiji said getting ready to write down his answer.

"Brown!" He answered without thinking.

"Ew..." Everyone groaned.

Akako came home later thinking about her crush on Shinsuke and the Dark Masque. "What if he really meant that he liked Red-chan, when he said that?" Akako fretted. "He doesn't know I'm Red-chan so maybe he felt safe in saying that..." She said boggling her mind. "But the Black Masque is the only one for me... But I know who Shinsuke is and he doesn't wear a mask like the Dark Masque... OH!!!" She said to herself.

Her brother ran by her. "Mom! Akako is mumbling something!" He yelled.

"Stop mumbling Akako chan or you'll never find a man!" Her mother told her.

"Grr... stupid Adro!" Akako rose her fist at her brother.

"Heh heh..." Her brother laughed and then rubbed his hands together evilly. "With this new power, I'll be able to eradicate that blasted Rainbow club and finally reach world domination! Soon Red-chan, you're life will be mine!" He said to himself.

"Mom!" Akako told on him. "Adro's mumbling something!"

"Stop mumbling Adro or you'll never find a girl." Her mother told him.

"Stupid Akako!"

Little did Adro know that Akako, his very own sister was also his biggest nemesis. Likewise, Akako had no idea of Adro's identity. Ironic that the two should live in the same house, no?

Later that night, Akako woke up to find herself in the streets still in her nightgown. "Eh? How'd I get here?" She got up. "This won't do." She said and reached in her pocket and got out a red ribbon. She tied it around her waist and changed into Red-chan.

(Insert clothes changing sequence here.)

"Red-chan." A voice said behind her and she turned to see...

"Dark masque!" She explained.

He nodded and then saw something behind her. "Watch out!" He yelled and jumped in front of her just as a beam of light shot through his heart.

"DARK MASQUE!!!" She yelled.

"Oiiiiiiiiiiiiii." An annoying voice woke her up. She looked over to see the tiny form of Ellipse poking her in the cheek with a stick.

"What are you doing?" She said grabbing the stick.

"Your talking woke me up." He said. This was Ellipse the leprecaun that gave her the powers of Red-chan. (IE, he's the familiar of this magical girl series.) "Who wants to hear you going... 'Dark Masque... DARK MASQUE!!!'?" Ellipse mocked her. He lived inside Akako's pencil box and usually stayed in there for most of the time.

"I had a weird dream." Akako noted.

"Nope." Her familiar said. "Don't want to hear it."

"But it was as if someone was trying to attack me! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME ELLIPSE KUN!?!?!?!!!" She fretted grabbing the leprucaun and squeezing him like a tub of toothpaste and then waving him back and forth in a fit. (Someone's not too careful with her familiars...)

His eyes were in swirls and he drooled at the mouth. "Elli?" She said peering down at him.

He shook his head and glared at her. "Anyway, so what? Someone probably is after you. You're Red-chan... it's only natural..."

"Then I don't want to be Red-chan no more." She said putting him down and folding her arms in front of her.

"Then you'll never be able to see Dark Masque again..." Ellipse said slyly.

"Akh! Fine! What do I do? Tell me!!!" She said rattling the bed in another fit.

"Hmph." Ellipse said crossing his arms. "Well there have been a few mysterious occurances around here."

"Like what?"

"Someones been painting people's houses completely black or white."

"Why would they do that?"

"I onno. Trying to get rid of the colors in this world?" Ellipse said. "And it's up to you to stop them. But for now, just go to sleep but stop talking about Dark Masque or I'll be taking your magical ribbon back." He threatened.

"Hmph. Stupid leprecaun." She grumbled turning in her bed.

"Stupid girl." Elli retorted.

When Akako got to school the next day she found that someone had painted the whole school black! "AHK!!! AS IF THIS PLACE WASN'T DREARY ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!" She said almost ripping out her long pig tails.

"It's only dreary because you're failing..." Ellipse's voice rang through her head. "Oh yeah and remember what I told you last night." He said through telepathetic link.

"Eh?" She had forgotten.

"If you were here, I would hit you." Ellipse sighed. "And a leprecaun punch is not to be trifled with. But anyway... I already told you that someone was painting houses black and white..."

"Oh yeah." Akako said and someone heard her and thought she was talking to herself.

"Akako-chan!" Someone yelled and Lener-chan ran up to her. "Whoa, the schools been hit too?" She noted.

"Do you know who is doing this, Lener-chan?" Akako asked.

"No, but my house was also painted last night. And this morning my parents were putting sheets over everything saying that there was too much color."

A boy with white hair and black clothes walked past him. "Did he bleach his hair?" Akako wondered. He trudged on with his hands in his pockets and didn't even seem to notice the school was all black.

"He's altered his uniform too... Hold on." Lener said and went up to him. "Was your house painted to?" She said grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Yeah..." He shrugged.

"Well no need to be depressed about it!" Akako said.

"It's better this way." He said his hair falling into his eyes. "There was too much color."

"Hey, I remember you." Akako said recognizing him. "You're that red headed boy from class 2-D. WE WERE THE ONLY TWO RED HEADS IN THE SCHOOL!!! WHY DID YOU BLEACH YOUR HAIR OUT!??!?" She yelled.

"Since when were you such a bully, Akako kohai?" Rho said and then upon seeing the school, she dropped her school bag. "What the..."

"You should have seen that movie last night, Alma-chan." Karma was saying walking up behind Rho with Alma.

"Oh my." Alma said upon seeing the school.

"AH!!" Karma pointed at the school. "Why is the school painted black!"

"This is a job for..." Eiji started.

"The Rainbow club?" Lener wondered.

"THE NEWSPAPER!" He finished.

"As if this place wasn't dreary enough already!" Karma groaned.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" Akako yelled hitting herself in the head. "Take that, Elli."

"Don't hit yourself in the head, Akako." Karma told her.

Shinsuke walked past wearing all black. "He altered his uniform too?" Lener realized.

"Shinsuke sempai!" Akako breathed. He continued looking down.

"Um... wait!" She said running after him. "Yesterday when you said you liked the colors red and black, did you mean..."

"Nope." He interupted. "I don't like red no more. Just black."

Akako's face cracked in half and she landed on her knees. "She's been delivered a psychological blow." Eiji noted.

"At least I still have Black Masque..." Akako was mumbling.

"Hey Shinsuke sempai!" Lener said. "Today is the kendo competition, right? Good luck." She said.

"No..." He shrugged. "I'm not going."

"WHAT!?!?!?!" Karma yelled.

"I just don't feel like it anymore." He said.

"What's with that uniform anyway?" Karma said as an afterthought. Akako landed on her.

"Don't talk so rudely to Shinsuke sempai!" She whispered harshly.

"Why not? He doesn't like you anyway Red-chan." She teased.

Akako went to go sulk away from the group.

"This is probably a scam by Bukita." Ellipse said later yawning from inside his home the pencil box. Bukita was Red-chan's arch nemisis. A strange boy who was always causing trouble for her by various pranks upon the people of the city. Little did she know that this was really Adro, her little brother.

"Oops, well it's time for you to go." Ellipse said looking out the window. In the night sky, a beam of light flashed a red bow into the sky. This meant that the people of the city needed Red-chan for something. The mayor had access to the beacon to summon her.

"Right!" Akako said jumping out the window and landing in a contorted pile on the ground.

"So uncool." Ellipse shook his head.

At the mayor's house, Mayor Chazbone waited for her. "Red-chan! Thank goodness you're here."

"I am here Mayor Chaxby."

"Uh... it's Chazbone."

"Whatever, Chezlone." She said.

"Uh... anyway. We need you to stop whoever is responsible for painting the city's buildings black and white. Normally we wouldn't call you for something so serious and leave it up to the police but YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE!!!" He said yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Never fear Mayor Yazbin!"

"My name is Chazbone! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO GET IT RIGHT!?!?" He yelled.

"Mezlin?"

He fell to the ground. "Nevermind. Just help us Rainbow club..."

"Red-chan!" Someone called and there stood the five other members of the Rainbow club. There was Purple-chan, the preppy girl with the pony tail and a royal attack that composed of shards of glass that left the enemy wondering what hit them. Blue-chan was the feisty short girl with a water and wind attack that was like a hurricane. Green-chan was the quiet girl with a leaf spirit that could shoot vines at the enemy. Orange-chan had her sarcastic golden wave that left the enemy speechless. Finally, Yellow-chan who should probably be refered to as Yellow-kun, was the only male of the group with sparkly powers that would blind even those in sunglasses. They were the Rainbow Club... and the hereos of this story...

"Ah hah! Red-chan, we meet again!" A boy said.

"Why does that voice sound so familiar..." Red-chan wondered and turned to see the boy known as Bukita in a black cape and his hair slicked back. He stood with two others who were dressed like him. His two companions had a bucket of black and white paint.

"YOU!!!" Red-chan pointed at him. "So you were painting people's houses black and white... and made the school extra dreary!" She added.

"That's right." He said motioning to the two paint buckets. "This is not just any paint but the kind that sucks out all color and emotion in the world! HAH HAH HAH!" He laughed like any geeky villian would.

"I'll save you Purple-chan!" A boy wearing all brown said rushing between them.

"Huh?" Purple-chan wondered.

"You again!" Red-chan yelled. "I told you, you can't be a part of the Rainbow club!"

"It's not fair!" Saboru complained. "You don't even have a Brown-chan in your club and you won't let me join."

"NO ONE LIKES BROWN!" Red-chan yelled at him.

"But I do!" Saboru claimed.

"Go home kid." Red-chan snubbed him.

"I'm here to save Purple-chan from danger!"

"Eh? Why Purple-chan?" Blue-chan wondered. Purple-chan sighed.

Adro, I mean Bukita grabbed Saboru by the collar. "Ah hah! I have captured your little friend here! Now what are you gonna do?"

"We don't care." Orange-chan said.

"You can keep him!" Red-chan yelled.

"Eh heh." Yellow-kun laughed. "I sort of feel sorry for that guy..."

"Oh my." Green-chan oh my-ed.

Meanwhile, Swwigy and Kilme who just happened to be the two minionsof Bukita/Adro had the mayor cornered. "Here, Mayor Chasyun." Swwigy teased.

"THE NAME'S CHAZBONE!?!?! WHY CAN'T ANYONE GET IT RIGHT!"

"I'll save you, Mayor Cheesy!" Red-chan said running after him.

"Gah! Just kill me now."

"As you wish." Kilme said stabbing him with the paintbrush.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT MAYOR WHATEVER-HIS-NAME-IS!!!"

Chazbone was now looking droopy eyed and his clothes changed to black and white. He looked rather depressed but he wasn't dead. "I don't want to be mayor anymore." He said.

"What did you do!?!" Red-chan yelled. "Now he's all depressed cuz of you!"

"Not only does this paint change the colors of things but it also alters the personality of a person!" Bukita laughed. "This is how I shall destroy all of yall and rule the world!" He said as cartoony music played in the background.

"We must stop him!" Red-chan ordered. "Rainbow club!" She called and then yelled out the special words that gave them all power. "RAINBOW SIX UNITE!" And they all got a power boost.

"Heh, I feel like I could take out terrorist! I'll take this guy out, no problem!" Blue-chan said waving her hands around in a funky manner as cyclones of water swirled around her. She sent the cyclones towards Adro but his minions, Swwigy and Kilme jumped in front of him and with their paint brushes stabbed each of the cyclones causing them to crash down into a sludge puddle.

"Why you!" Blue-chan got mad and ran at them ready to punch them both.

"Blue-chan! No!" They all yelled and she was stabbed with a paint brush.

"BLUE-CHAN!!!" Red-chan yelled as her best friend fell to the floor. Her beautiful blue costume was now changing into a grey color. She stood up and wobbled. Her eyes were glazed over. "Blue-chan?" Red-chan said standing before the girl.

"I hate you." Blue-chan said to Red-chan.

"WHAT!?!?!?!?" Red-chan said her body seemingly cracking into various pieces. She sat down and hugged herself as a little dark cloud appeared above her head.

"Another psychological blow for her, huh?" Yellow-kun noted.

"Red-chan?" Purple-chan wondered. "Snap out of it! We have to save Blue-chan."

"No time to be distracted." Swwigy said rushing at Purple-chan.

"No, Purple-chan!" Saboru said running after him but he was too late. Purple-chan had been stabbed by Swwigy's paint brush. She too began changing into a grey color. "No! The beautiful Purple-chan's color has changed!" He fretted. "Purple-chan?" He said kneeling before the magical girl.

"Your pathetic." She said to him. "Leave me alone."

"Now look what you did to Purple-chan! She didn't used to be so mean to me!" He said rushing at Swwigy. Swwigy stepped on him.

"You're not even worth getting stabbed." He said.

"I wonder if Purple-chan really feels that way." Yellow-kun said.

"The paint is supposed to change their personalities." Orange-chan noted. "What do we do, Leader?" She said to Red-chan who was still in a slump on the ground. "LEADER!?!?!" She said trying to hit her but was held back by Yellow-kun.

"Now, now." He said.

"No time to be fighting amongst yourselves." Kilme said appearing behind Yellow-kun and stabbing him in the back. Yellow-kun let go of Orange-chan and fell to his knees. He too began to turn grey.

"Yellow-kun!" Orange-chan fretted.

"Hee hee! This is great! They're all getting stabbed by my magical and depressing black and white paints!" Bukita laughed. Orange-chan glared at him.

"This is stupid." Yellow-kun said sitting on the floor. He looked down at the ground crying. "The Rainbow club is stupid!" He yelled.

"Stupid girl..." A voice echoed in Red-chan's head.

"I AM NOT STUPID! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YOU TEENY LEPRECAUN!!!" Red-chan jumped up hitting herself on the head. Everyone who wasn't grey looked at her confused.

"Red-chan! Grr... or should I say, Leader..." Orange-chan said obviously not happy. "We have to form some sort of plan to beat him or else we're all gonna end up like them." She pointed to Blue, Purple, and Yellow.

"AHH!! THEY'RE GREYSCALES OF THEMSELVES!!!" Red-chan yelled.

"You're stupid." Yellow-kun said to Red-chan.

"And apparently they're a lot meaner than before." Orange-chan noted.

"Yellow-kun would never say stuff like that under normal circumstances." Green-chan agreed.

"I guess it's up to us three to stop them." Red-chan said. "Orange-chan! Green-chan! Do you think you can handle the minions? I'll go after this Bukita fellow."

"Fine... but if you get stabbed don't expect me to save you." Orange-chan pffted.

"Hey, when are we getting paid for this?" Swwigy asked Bukita.

"Yeah, you promised us a pretty heavy sum. Beating up girls in costumes doesn't come cheap." Kilme seconded.

"Money! Hah! When I rule the world you can have all the money you want! MONEY WILL BE USELESS TO ME BECAUSE I'LL BE IN COMPLETE DOMINATION OF EVERYTHING!!! MWAHAHAHAH!!!"

"Does that mean you don't have any money... now?" Swwigy twitched.

"We just stabbed girls with a magical paintbrush, turning them into something out of a black and white TV show, for nothing?" Kilme grumped.

"Fools! Get them!" Bukita yelled pointing at the remaining three Rainbow clubbers.

Swwigy and Kilme beat him up and then threw him into the sky where he disappeared into a little white sparkle. "Sorry about that." Swwigy said shaking Red-chan's hand.

"We are mercanaries after all." Kilme seconded.

"But how do we change them back?" Red-chan pointed to the three greyscaled warriors.

"Use your powers..." A voice said inside Red-chan's head. "Destroy the paint." Ellipse was again talking to her through a telepathetic link. He was at home watching everyone on TV somehow...

"All right then!" Red-chan said in an awesome pose. "Then with the power of love and war! As red is my power, I shall destroy this persoality altering paint!" She said and with her fire powers she exploded the paint buckets and brushes as well as half the mayor's building...

The greyscaled people reverted back to themselves. The mayor saw what happened to his building. "MY OFFICE!!! YOU DESTROYED IT!!"

"Sorry about that Mayor Chimbly."

"AH!" He freaked.

"But it's all in a days work for the Rainbow club." She said.

"Don't say such cheesy lines." The leprecaun said in her head.

"Shut up, leprecaun." She said banging her head into the wall.

"Yes..." The Mayor said with swirls in his eyes. "With Red-chan, our city is always safe..." He didn't sound completely convinced.

At home Akako saw her brother all beaten up. "What happened to you?" She wondered.

"I uh... fell over... in art club..." He said lamely.

"Hah hah! Loser!" She said skipping up to her room.

"GRR!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT RED-CHAN!"

"Stop grumbling or you'll never get a girl!" His mom told him.

The end.

Next up is Squishy and Squashy! Power twins who save the day with their rivals Swishy and Swashy! (Not really...)

(This wouldn't have been a Sailor Moon/Magical girl parody... (yes it would...) Red-chan got to have her own "bat signal" and Rainbow Six reminds me of Tom Clancy. Mayor Chazbone reminds me of the mayor in Powerpuff Girls.)

"This isn't over!"

"You're beaten. Your engine is disabled. Your systems are about to go offline. You're a sitting duck..."

"Impossible!" He gasped but realized it was true. "Why?!" He banged his fist onto the control panel. "Why do you fight against the government!?" He yelled inside his smaller mecha suit. He was in the one of the more popular and newer suits from the Jerico project headed by something called E. Tec., a company that had infiltrated the world government until the government's recent collapse. Now the company who had always been somewhat restricted by the government, was free to do what it wanted. And its power was great.

Enter a man with no name, who can't remember the day before a kindly old man took him off the streets when he was near death. The man with a weird sense of humor named him Kilme because he rationed it would have been easier than nursing him back to health.

Kilme had discovered one of the older models of the larger mecha suits from the Noah project in 's early days and he was somehow able to run it despite never having any previous known training. The suit from the Noah project had once promised to be able to support a person for 40 days inside. This older suit was bigger, bulkier, slower, and not as quick in combat as the newer models from the Jerico project. Yet, Kilme now faced one of E. Tec's police men, a man in the supposed newer and better suits whom he had just defeated.

"E. Tec. is not the government." Kilme said to the man in the disabled mecha.

"Are you serious?! You're mad!" The police man code named Darklord yelled as his signal began getting staticy. "No one goes after a giant like E. Tec! Don't think because you've beaten me that others won't come!"

"I say bring it on." Kilme said haughtily. "Besides, I need information. Information E. Tec. has..."

The Darklord's signal was failing. "I'll... after... you... Kilme..." was all Kilme heard. He simply turned away and switched his mecha to flight mode. After a few adjustments, he flew off leaving the Darklord in a fix.

Later, Kilme was fighting against the defenses of one of E. Tec.'s strongholds. He hoped to get inside to get information. Information on E. Tec. and maybe even on himself. One of the major superior staff members was inside the fortress. He called himself Shin and now had all guns pointing at Kilme's mecha. Kilme braced for impact as shots rang out.

Then from the corner of his eye, he saw the girl in a flash of red. She was a pretty red head who also couldn't remember her name. So she was simply called Red. The man nicknamed Darklord was besides her, helping the girl because he was now against E. Tec. after they had tried to kill him.

When the girl appeared, the guns stopped shooting and Kilme looked on in awe as the girl named Red typed away into a control panel. "Red what are you doing?" He called into the radio watch they shared.

"I've been having more dreams lately..." She said still punching into the control panel and adjusting a few wires. "This is the same place from my dreams." Was all she said.

They both had an unusual ability to somehow know how to use machines. Though Kilme's ability seemed to be geared more towards mecha suits and weapons, Red was good with computers and hacking. They both didn't know why they could do what they could do.

Kilme tried to move his mecha forward only to realize it had been incompacitated at the left leg joint. "The man knows where he's aiming for." Kilme said opening the hatch and hopping out, not even waiting for the ramp to lower. Quickly, he hid among the ground and made his way to Red and Darklord just as Red commanded the door to open.

Eventually, they found themselves in a very disturbing room. Living things were swimming in jars... living things that looked human. The man called Shin was there.

"What is this?" Kilme swore. He'd never seen anything like it. He expected to see machines or computers but what he saw instead was like a deformed zoo.

"This is the E. Tec. Biological Division, Mendlev sector." Shin explained calmly. Kilme held a gun at the man. A gnawing feelings at the back of his head told him something was familiar. Darklord was speechless and Red was crying gripping at her head.

"Red?" He asked.

"I remember this place." She said. "And you..." She said pointing to Shin and then looking at Kilme. "He's my father." She said in confusion. "Don't you see Kilme. We grew up here."

"Not him. Just you." Shin corrected. "He was raised in a different lab in Stromwell which suffered a terrible accident about a year ago. It was said that there were no survivors. But I guess the cause of the accident lived." Shin said looking at Kilme.

They couldn't remember their names or lives because they had none. Test tube babies. An experiment. Human-like beings raised with an instilled knowledge of how to work computers and machines. They were like living weapons. Raised only to be used. Kilme came from a more weapon orientated lab, thus his knowledge of mechas and weapons, while Red came from the current lab which specialized in information flow via computers.

"Darklord, you get a mecha. Red and I will head back to mine." Kilme commanded.

"Why do you get the girl?" Darklord asked half jokingly.

"Cuz I'm the hero." Kilme said haughtily.

They left the lab: Kilme, Red, and Darklord though Shin tried to stop them. He claimed that Red really was like a daughter to him, but in the end she left. Darklord stole a mecha and Red and Kilme went into Kilme's mecha after putting it into flight mode.

They left with no plans except to make things rough for E. Tec. They weren't humans but they still had feelings, aspirations, and personalities. Eventually, others joined in their fight against the powerful company and a rebel group was formed led by a man named Kilme and a woman named Red. It was a time of war. It was a time of mecha fighting. It was like the apocalypse for E. Tec. as they began planning for... the Revelation project!!!

(My lame attempt at a mecha story or at least some sort of sci fi thing.)

Warning: Naked woman, orgies, and yaoi ahead.

Just kidding… this is actually still PG-13 at most because of excessive flirting, talk of homosexuality, and slight perversion, though I’m sure anyone under 13 could handle it.

The males of Akai try to figure out what Darkshin’s deal with RedLady is…

(A slightly more perverted version of the series…)

The Darkshin Theories

“We’re going to take a bath. Girl’s only!” RedLady stressed grabbing a towel from her magic backpack. “And if I so much as hear any of yall near the bathing area, I’m gonna punch you into the sky.”

“Saint Parvlos! We would never do that!” Chazbone flustered.

Swwigy, who hated to be bossed around and actually had no interest in peeking in on a woman like RedLady, grumbled. “I bet if it was Darkshin you wouldn’t mind.” He said lowly.

RedLady seemed to grow cat ears at the mention of her love’s name. “Dark-shin?” She stuttered.

“Miss Red?” Alma said next to her.

“But we’re not even married yet… I could… but… hmph.” She finally decided. “He’s not here anyway. He’s probably off doing… stuff… heroic stuff. Yeah that’s it.”

“Good for him.” Swwigy said folding his arms.

“Eh heh.” HG laughed besides him nervously.

“Enough about Darkwad, let’s go.” Karma said sitting on RedLady’s shoulder.

“Girl’s only!” RedLady stressed. “And don’t call him that.” She argued with Karma.

“Hmph. If any man tries to sneak over there, I’ll turn him into a girl for real.” Karma claimed.

“Um…” Both Alma and Lener seemed disturbed by this.

“I wonder what she sees in that Entrapper of Women, anyway?” Chazbone wondered as the girl’s went into the make shift bathhouse.

“He does seem to run away a lot.” HG noted.

“I wonder if he knows that she likes him.” Kilme wondered.

“No one can be that clueless!” Chazbone scoffed. Kilme looked at him with a clueless expression.

Kilme’s theory:

Darkshin walked to the place designated on the paper. RedLady waited there with champagne and wearing a seductive red dress with a long slit up the side. Rose petals littered the ground and someone played a violin off to the side. (This someone was none other than Kilme.)

“What’s with all these rose petals on the ground?” Darkshin asked. “And why are you drinking champagne?”

“You should know why I called you here, my love.”

“Um… no?” Darkshin scratched his head. “You said you had something you wanted to tell me?” He said holding up a pink paper.

“Oh, Darkshin!” RedLady threw herself at the samurai. He stepped to the side as she fell to the ground. “Ah! You’re so mean!” RedLady cried.

“If you didn’t wear such a strange outfit, you might actually have a chance to defeat me.” He said simply.

“Defeat you?”

“This was a challenge letter wasn’t it?” He said holding up what looked like a pink love letter with hearts drawn on it and an over-whelming perfume smell coming from it. “Though I’m not sure champagne will help you fight.” He said tilting his head. RedLady flustered at this.

“But, Darkshin!” RedLady yelled. “I don’t want to fight you, I want to marry you!” She assured.

“Huh? This must be a trick to get me to let my guard down.” He said.

“It isn’t a trick! I’ve always loved you!”

“This is the first time I’ve heard of it!” Darkshin scoffed.

“What!?!?” RedLady yelled getting angry. “But I tell you that every time I see you!”

“Then what about all those traps and attempted tackles?”

“I did that out of love!” (RedLady logic at work here…)

“That doesn’t seem very loving to me. I thought you were just trying to defeat me in a fight.”

“I would never really hurt my love, Darkshin!” RedLady pleaded.

“What are you talking about?” Darkshin wondered. “This is the weirdest challenge letter I’ve ever gotten…” He said turning away.

“Wait! Don’t leave! I love you, Darkshin!” RedLady said pleading before him.

“You… love me?” Darkshin said as if it was the first time hearing this.

“Yes!” She said smiling.

“This is the first time I’ve heard of it.” He said and RedLady plopped onto the ground.

“And so due to a faulty memory and some misunderstandings, he doesn’t ever remember any of RedLady’s daily confessions of love and isn’t even aware that she likes him.” Kilme finished.

“That… is… uh…” HG sweated.

“Even though RedLady’s crazy and does wild stuff like try to capture him in cages, no one can be that clueless.” Chazbone demanded.

“This has been the theory from a corpse who came back to life after rotting for nearly 50 years, what do you expect?” Swwigy said.

“Well it would explain why he hasn’t told her anything.” Kilme argued.

“Tsk. He’s just doing that on purpose.” Chazbone crossed his fingers.

“What do you mean, Chazbone?” HG wondered.

“He is the entrapper of women after all.” Chazbone continued.

“Enlighten us.” Swwigy said dryly.

“My theory is that when he first met RedLady, he seduced her somehow and then to keep her loyal, he constantly runs away in order to play hard to get…”

Chazbone’s theory:

“Huh? Who are you?” She said to the samurai who had stepped out of the shadows before her.

“I am the Angel of love, baby.” He said taking her hands.

“Wha…what?”

“Ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew you were the one!”

“M-m-m-me?” RedLady couldn’t take such blatant love attacks.

“I can’t stop staring into your crystal blue eyes.” He said staring down at the blushing woman. “I want to run my hand through your fire red hair and get burned by it…” He said doing just that. “I think we should be together… forever.”

RedLady who was totally won over by all this romantic cheesiness, now had hearts in her eyes and blood dripping out of her nose. “Yes!” She said.

Darkshin smiled, his mission of winning the lady now complete. “Bye!” He said and ran away leaving RedLady in the dust.

“Wha? Come back here! I want to marry you!”

“That’s you’re theory?” Swwigy said sarcastically.

Kilme twitched and HG laughed good naturedly.

“Yep, and he secretly wants a harem involving RedLady, Alma, Lener, and even Karma!”

“That’s just stupid.” Swwigy said.

“I never knew you thought of these things, Chazbone.” HG said.

“I read it in the Paladin’s Guide to Dummies.”

“WHAT?!!?!?” They all yelled.

“It was the last chapter on love.”

“I think that book is for dummies, written BY dummies.” Swwigy said. “Dummy.”

“Hey!” Chazbone yelled. “Then what do you think about him?”

“Heh. I think he’s just gay.” Swwigy said off the bat. The other three just fell over at this comment.

“Remind me never to be alone with him.” Chazbone said from the ground.

“It goes like this…” Swwigy started.

Swwigy’s theory:

“Sorry RedLady. I cannot love you because… well… because I’m gay.”

“WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!” RedLady screamed causing a crack to form in the sky.

“No! But I love you! Love can conquer anything! Even if you do like men, I’ll make up for that somehow… I know! I’ll become a man! They have surgery for that now a days!”

“Please… don’t continue.” HG pleaded trying to covering his ears.

“Then what do you think, werewolf?”

“I think he just doesn’t like her in the same way she likes him but is too nice of a guy to tell her that.” HG said simply. It was the most reasonable theory all day. “And the fact that he is a samurai probably has something to do with it…” He went on. "It could be like a tragic love story as a samurai chooses his duties over love."

HG’s theory:

It was raining but still the fires in the town burned. “No, Darkshin!” The red haired maiden called. “Don’t leave me.”

“Sorry, but it is my duty to protect the innocent.” He said and walked towards the burning town.

“But… but…”

“There has already been an arranged marriage for me with another samurai’s daughter. After the war, I will marry her.”

“No! But you can’t!” She cried.

“Fare thee well. We’ll probably never see each other again.”

“Noooooooooooooooooo!!!” She cried. “Curse the cruel fate!!!”

“And then in her sorrow she went into a convent to spend the rest of her days praying to the samurai that walked off towards the flames of a burning town. Oh the tragedy!”

“That sounds too romanticized to be RedLady.” Chazbone said.

“Besides, I thought Darkshin was more of a Ronin anyway…” Swwigy injected.

“Look out below!” A voice called and Adro crashed into their midst.

“Annoying flyboy.” Swwigy grumbled.

“Oh… uh… hi Adro.” HG laughed.

“Ah hah!” He jumped out of the hole. “Lots of people to fight!”

“Hmm?” Swwigy wondered. “We were just discussing the theory behind Darkshin. What do you think?”

“Darkshin… eh? Yes… he is a fun person to fight!” Adro said hopping from one foot to the other.

“Do you always think of fighting?” Chazbone grumbled.

“What would happen if Darkshin married your sister?” HG asked Adro.

“Why would he do that?” Adro wondered.

“Well RedLady seems to want to marry him.” Kilme explained.

“Who would marry someone as ugly as her?”

“Are you telling me you never even knew your sister liked Darkshin?” Chazbone asked.

“Why would I care about that?” Adro pumped his fists. “I only care about fighting. I thought RedLady was the same… It goes like this…”

Adro’s theory:

“Hey you! I challenge you to a duel!” RedLady pointed at the samurai.

“Ok.” Darkshin said and readied herself. She ran at him only to trip on a rock.

“Ah! I was defeated! No one has defeated me so easily!” She claimed.

“But… I didn’t do anything…” Darkshin sweated.

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

“I guess that just goes to show how good you are! I shall never give up!” She said standing up patting her arm. “I will train until the day that I can defeat you!” She claimed and then walked off for long and rigorous training.

“And that is why she follows him around because he’s such an avid warrior and she knows that the day she defeats him, she will be the strongest one on the earth. Right behind me of course.”

“That’s your theory?” Chazbone said doubtfully.

“That resembles my challenge letter idea.” Kilme complained.

“Let’s fight Paladin!” Adro answered.

“His brain really is stuck in fight mode.” Swwigy droned.

“Besides even if she did like Darkshin and they got married, then I’d be able to fight him much more than I can now!” He said jumping at Chazbone.

“Gah!” Chazbone moved out of the way and flung his arms up causing Adro to spiral up into the sky.

“The master of many weapons is blasting off again!” He twinkled.

"And now he switches to flight mode." Swwigy added.

“Hey…” HG said tapping on Chazbone.

“What?” He said and looked over to where HG was pointing.

“Well if it isn’t the man of our discussion.” Swwigy said.

“Grr… the entrapper of woman!”

“I’m not even sure he likes woman.” Swwigy grumbled.

“Yall are being silly.” HG laughed.

“I’m not sure he knows what’s going on.” Kilme nodded.

“Hey you! Samurai fellow.” Swwigy said motioning Darkshin to come over to them.

“Um… yes?” Darkshin wondered.

“What’s the deal anyway?” Swwigy said his arms folded.

“Admit it! You’re trying to develop a harem!”

“Uh… what?” Darkshin said not knowing whether to be angry or scared.

“Are you caught up in a tragic one sided love affair with your samurai duties?” HG joked.

“It’s hard to live in a world where everything’s not as apparent.” Kilme shook his head.

“What are you talking about?” Darkshin said a shadow in his face.

“RedLady!” They all said at once.

“Do you like her? Hate her?” Swwigy asked.

“Are you flattered by her affections or perhaps a little turned off?” HG added.

“You’re just playing hard to get!” Chazbone argued.

“You do know she claims to love you, right?” Kilme asked.

Darkshin bowed his head. “So that’s what this is all about.” He said, turned, and started running.

“He’s running away!” Chazbone said in disbelief.

“After him!” Swwigy demanded.

“We just want to know the truth!” HG laughed as they all chased after him.

RedLady and the others had just come out of the bath then and their eyes bulged when they saw Darkshin getting chased by the guys. RedLady ran after them.

“What are you doing chasing after my love?! That’s my job!”

RedLady’s theory:

“RedLady.” Darkshin said scooting next to her.

“Yes Darkshin?” She said with hearts in her eyes.

“I’m sorry for always running away.”

“Eh?”

“The truth is I wanted to become a better person before I pursued any type of relationship. I wanted to make sure I was worthy.”

“What are you talking about Darkshin! You’re more than worthy!” RedLady drooled. “You’re super cool, handsome, and strong…”

“It is true I am those things…” Darkshin started.

“Eh?”

“But now I have trained myself to be even more cool, handsome, and strong.” Darkshin said ripping off his shirt and revealing huge bulging muscles.

“DARKSHIN, MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!” RedLady said throwing herself at him.

Karma looked annoyed as she viewed RedLady roll around in her sleep. “Humans are disgusting.” She concluded.

“Um… Miss Karma?” Alma asked. “Why is Miss RedLady hugging that rock?”

“Cuz she’s a brain dead fluff ball!” Karma yelled. “Sheesh… how am I supposed to know these things? Humans are too complicated to understand anyway.”

“Oh my.” Alma wondered.

The end.

(Not really a parody of much of anything except perhaps a harem anime? Maybe just a regular love comedy? Most harem animes have a hotsprings scene. The only reference to an anime might have been Adro's blasting off again. Thanks to Infamous Bamf for some of the ideas behind this story.)

Once upon a time, the planet earth was safe from harm. Previously on this same earth, a mythological sea serpent hid seven cubes that could summon up a fighter who called himself (or herself) one of the deadly seven cube fighters... Not only that, if you collected all seven of the cubes, you could summon the great DarkLord Dragon who would grant you one wish...

But that was a story from last series and now if we add a Z to the end of the name, we can create a new saga with better (yet meaningless) fighting scenes that last 3 ore more episodes each...

But anyway, back to planet earth...

The planet earth was safe from harm... until it wasn't safe from harm...

Warriors from other planets far away came to earth in order to destroy it... and no one could stop them... no one except the heroes of course...

Let the bloody fight scenes begin! (Blood has been edited out for American viewing...)

"Heh..." Swwigy wiped the blood away from his lip. "You think you're so great just cuz you got a punch in..."

"I am much better than you Swwigy!" His opponent Saboru swore.

"Well see about that."

"So far, I'm beating you!"

"Let me power myself up and then I'll beat you."

"Say what?"

"If I go to the next power level, I'll soon show you!"

"Don't let him do it!" A random minion said.

"Hah, I'll let you power up then, Swwigy! It still won't matter!"

"It will be the death of you Saboru, don't do it!" The minion begged.

Swwigy bent over and began grunting. Light circled around him as rocks flew up in the air due to special effects.

Two days later, Swwigy had finished powering up.

He looked at Saboru like a devil. Swwigy had powered up so much that his sheer look defeated Saboru and the fight was over.

Swwigy vs. Saboru, the invasion alien number 1

Victor: Swwigy

In another town far away, another show down was in the midst...

Darkshin was fighting a man who simply called himself the Hunter.

"If you think I will let you destroy the planet, you've got another thing coming, that you do." Darkshin said.

"Nooooooo!!!!!" Chazbone and RedLady groaned in the background covering their ears.

"Such cheesy lines shouldn't be coming out of my Love's mouth!" RedLady groaned.

"Quiet! They're starting the fight!" Chazbone hushed. "He's about to use his famous two hit combo."

"What are you talking about?" RedLady asked.

"Oh, I'm just here to commentate from the side lines letting the audience know what moves they use because I'm too weak to fight myself... and I can't believe I just said that..."

"Oh yeah? What about me?" RedLady wondered. "Do I get to fight?"

"Hah! That's a laugh! Women are only here to look pretty and yell at the guys when they aren't fighting."

"WHAT!?" RedLady growled.

In the meantime, Darkshin did some move that was spectacular and stuff... (Trust me, it was.)

"That is called my Uba Katta Waba Heiny move." He said with a straight face.

"Again with the cheesy lines!" RedLady groaned.

"I've never seen him use that move before but I can still tell you that anyone he used it against is always defeated." Chazbone commentated.

The Hunter looked at Darkshin confused. "Do you even understand what you are saying?"

"No." Darkshin said seriously. "But I figure if I say it with a straight face, it will look like I know what I am talking about."

Chazbone and RedLady both fell on their faces.

"Hmm..." The Hunter said contemplating. "I understand."

"YOU DO!?!?" RedLady screamed.

"Before I wanted to kill people and destroy the earth, but you have made me see the error of my ways with your impressive logic and contemporary views."

"Contemporary!" Both Chazbone and RedLady wondered.

"Yes, now go Hunter and be a good guy from now on..."

"EH!?!?!?"

Darkshin vs. Hunter the invasive alien number 2

Victor: Darkshin

In another country, Lener was fighting a man with a paddle who had absorbed a bean washer and two swordsmen. He called himself Kai.

Kai had first been fighting Kilme but had beaten him leaving Lener to pick up the fight. But she too was losing...

"Lener... no..." Kilme breathed all beaten up.

"I can beat him! Believe it!" She swore flinging all sorts of ninja stars, shuriken, knitting needles, daggers, knives, forks, and other pointy metal objects at him which he deflected by his sheer aura... somehow...

"It's no use..." Kilme said standing up. "Save yourself while I fend him off!" He said staggering.

"But you can barely stand!"

"Women aren't supposed to protect the men, it's all backwards!" He said.

"But..." Lener turned away shyly. "I never told anyone this but I'm holding a monstrous amount of Chakra inside... believe it!"

"You are?" Kilme was surprised.

"Believe it! But it comes at a terrible price..." She said.

"It does?"

Kai just stood their letting them talk, even though he was supposed to kill them.

"Yes, if I release the chakra all at once I could die... and worse..."

"Worse?"

"I could break a nail... believe it!"

Kai was severely damaged by the lame nail breaking comment. Lener released her great chakra (believe it) and defeated him with a powerful attack similar to the Kamehame wave and Kilme managed to seal up her power again so that she wouldn't die or break a nail. (A girl's life is in her nail...)

Lener vs. Kai the invasive alien number 3

Victor: Lener, (Dattebayo!)

More people were gathered to face off against a powerful kid named Little E.

Adro, who was fighting him decided that he needed to eat instead and began eating his way through a buffet... or five buffets...

While he was doing that, HG kept the kid entertained.

"I must change into my ultimate form in order to defeat him!" HG said.

"E just want to eat chocolate... E turn world into big playground. E be locked up because he too powerful and stuff..." Little E said.

"Gah! I must defeat him!" HG said nobly while growing a snout. By now, he had reached his ultimate werewolf form.

"No wait!" A man who looked like an older version of Little E yelled.

"Sit boy!" Alma called next to him and HG fell to the ground face first.

"Who are you?" HG said from the ground.

"Don't you recognize me? I'm E!"

"What? Little E is your evil side?"

"No, he's my inner child! And I must turn myself into a blob in order to digest him so that we can become whole again."

"Oh... Kay..." HG said disturbed. "Does this mean I can't hold up this huge oversized sword over my head like a final fantasy character?"

"I am ready to fight!" Adro said now fat and happy. "I converted all that food into energy so that now I can save the day at the last minute!"

"Uh... that's... uh..."

HG vs. Little E the invasive alien number 4

Stalemate? (Or something?)

Meanwhile the invasive aliens had turned the DarkLord Dragon against the world in order to have it be destroyed.

DarkLord, the now ruler of the DarkLord Dragon was the fifth invasive alien... but what's this? He is really an impostor DarkLord? And the real DarkLord has been imprisoned somewhere in a tank of water?

J, now fights against the impostor DarkLord and it looks like he is loosing. Just as the DarkLord is about to end his life, J held up his hand and said, "Wait!"

The DarkLord impostor waited.

"Let me partake of a magic elixir made from beans which will heal all my wounds and make me stronger at the same time!"

The DarkLord impostor let him.

"That's just stupid!" A voice said.

RedLady came over chanting something. "I'll stop this whole series with one move!" She said. "Fear my Dragon Slave so that the DarkLord Dragon and all his cube minions will have to obey me even though this move will kill them and has nothing to do with enslavement!"

"Who are you?"

"A sorceress! What does it look like! Now die copy Darklord! Dragon Slave!" She yelled and destroyed a whole town as well as the DarkLord Dragon and the DarkLord impostor.

And again the planet was saved or something until the next lame fighting parody arises.

The end...

(Parody of... Well duh... what do you think: FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON... DRAGON BALL Z!!! Other parodies include Rurouni Kenshin, Naruto (better know it!), Inuyasha, and Slayers. Probably voted the weirdest of all parodies on this page.)

Now that you've read all that, tell me your favorite parody in a review. And thanks for sticking through 55 chapters! You all made it worth it!